Guest blog by KashA few days ago, I had a conversation with a co-worker about baby-sitting and my interest in it. She said she’d been making good money babysitting after work, and that it’s a great job to have. The problem for me is I’m a guy so the possibility of someone letting me look after their child is probably slim to none.
My sister also has a babysitting job and during one of her sitting days, her boyfriend tagged along. The women asked my sister why he was there and to make sure he won’t steal or break anything.
She was very surprised because her boyfriend has money, and wouldn’t steal anything even if wanted it.
It just made me wonder if guys can ever get babysitting jobs. I mean seriously, why can’t I baby-sit? I’m a very responsible guy. I helped raise my younger siblings and nephews.
Plus if there was an attacker breaking into the house, wouldn’t it be better to have a guy watching your child, than a girl, who’s probably going to freak out and start screaming along with your child.
Someone told me it’s because women provide a nurturing environment and guys are more likely to be a pedophile. I don't think that goes for every guy. Many of us can take care of kids. Plus it's very easy to screen them but it probably won't matter. Guys look like we're never going to get a babysitting gig.
Would you ever let a guy baby-sit your children or future children? What are your reasons for choosing a girl over a guy?
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Comments (51)
My brother babysits my sisters kids, so I don't think it's all that weird. If it was someone I knew and trusted, sure, I'd let a guy babysit my kids. The same applies with women.
I can babysit friends' kids, but prob'ly wouldn't get a gig from someone I didn't know personally. Guys just get a bum rap.
Actually, I have a guy babysitter. :) Well - three babysitters, one a woman and the other two are men. They're all friends of mine but before you make judgements, here's the scoop:
One of the guys that babysits my son was the last person my husband and I ever thought would enjoy babysitting. he's single, he's a man's man, he's adamant about having 'his" time when he's with his girlfriend, and furthermore, when our son was born he was scared to death of holding him. Now he's my son's favorite babysitter. My Damian actually likes him better than the girl. He's awesome!
I don't know why guys can't be babysitters but I agree with you - some guys are most likely to be looked at as pedifiles. I admit, when weird guys look at my baby I tend to have that judgement. Good thing I take martial arts, hahaha. Anyhoo, good luck on babysitting. Maybe you can start with a friend's kid.
i have no problem with a boy babysitter but my boyfriend on the other hand doesnt want a guy babysitting.I was very surprised when i said i had gotten a sitter and it was a boy and he said no.so it's not just moms that feel that way.I've been around a lot of guys who are great with kids and i think it's great when they can babysit.i really dont know why some people are against it
Hm, I'd never heard of that until now. My current boyfriend babysat more than I did in high school, but maybe it's because they were his neighbors. Then again, the people in our area were pretty trusting.
Plus if there was an attacker breaking into the house, wouldn’t it be
better to have a guy watching your child, than a girl, who’s probably
going to freak out and start screaming along with your child.
That is a very sexist statement, whether you meant it to be or not.
@PoetMcChick@xanga - I didn't mean it to be, so I apologize. Too many scary movies with teenage girls screaming whenever an attacker comes in? Yeah I think that's it lol
kash, I don't think you should apologize for that statement. It might be "sexist" but, it's more true than it is false.
However, I think a male babysitter may be more fun for boys anyway. They could do more active things and share a lot of similiar interests.
i can understand that, esp if you're gonna babysit girls.
nothing sexual here, its just a motherly worry thing. when i was younger my mom didn't even trust my uncles or older boy cousins to be around with me alone.
gender wouldn't be the issue to me so much as it being a person i know and trust.
i wouldn't let a girl i wasn't extremely well acquainted with watch my kids but if i knew a guy very well who wanted the job i'd let him.
i think the problem is people tend to let near strangers babysit their children and in that situation you kind of have to work with stereotypes in mind (i.e., guys are more likely to be pedophiles) so the odds are on your side.
:)
Personally, I'm in the group of, "I need to know the person, period. Male or female."
But I'd have to agree that a lot of people are probably worried about the pedophile angle. (We'll put aside the rise in females have sex with underage boys in recent years for the moment...at least the majority of those seem to be sticking with teenagers. Male pedophiles don't seem to discriminate against the under 13 crowd.) It's not that easy to "screen" people. You can only find out about it if they've been caught. They may have only thought about touching children before and haven't had the chance to act on it or done it and threatened the children if they told. I've known a lot of abuse victims that didn't say anything until years later.
My husband babysat when we were in high school, and one of the names on my list of sitters is a boy I taught last year.
Guys can babysit, too.
well, i guess the preception in most people's mind is saying that women are more trustable than men, and women can be a better babysitter than men, and if i put myself into a child, i bet i would have a female babysits me instead of a male.=]
I had a great guy sitter when my sons were small! He was one of 7 kids, and he cleaned for me when it was never asked or expected. I didn't tip him, and I caught up with his mom later and made up for that. He was involved in our church, too. I only hired him that once, cause I never could afford babysitters usually. So, I always had family members care for my kids for every other time.
I was sorry when I read James Dobson of Focus on the Family said in one of his books that it is not good for parents to trust a boy to not want to sexually molest their children. He honestly thinks that boys are too sexually primed during teen years. That they are 'on fire' with raging hormones (I heard him say that on the radio show).
My sons both enjoyed being nursery helpers in our church situation as they grew, and I think it did help them to be attuned to the vulnerability of small children. They are soo good with small kids =).
So, please do make sure that you overlook the stuff Dobson says (NOT all males are potential pedophiles), and hire people (male and female) based on their character and not their gender.
" . . . a girl, who’s probably going to freak out and start screaming along with your child." -LOL!!!!
hmm.. i've never really thought about the whole idea of guys babysitting before but maybe the idea about Michael Jackson (even though he didn't babysit.. i think) sexually molesting boys (or something like that) gave parents a negative view towards males looking after their children?
I know when I was growing up with an older brother, having a guy babysitter was much more fun.. and I think that had to do with the fact that the guy would keep my brother entertained and I could happily play on my own.. (thats big brothers for you tho)...
And now I actually want to find a good guy babysitter.. I find its more important for children to have strong yet loving male role models in their lives..
And after talking to a friend of mine who is a father of 10 (and 1 on the way), he says the reason dads don't like guy sitters is because they don't want their children to like the guy sitters more then their dads. (especially true with little daughters).. meanwhile mom's, more so those who are stay/work-at-home, are a little easier to let someone come in and babysit for awhile..
just my two cents
I don't care about gender very much, but I have to know the person very well before asking them to watch my kids. We have a few male friends who we would trust.
I don't think I'd be too quick to hire a teenage boy - it's partially about the hormones thing, but also because teenage boys aren't necessarily known for their good judgement :)
I know this isn't all boys, but most of the boys I knew in high school, even the nice ones, weren't necessarily "taking care of kids" material!
it's tricky to find the right pick, especially if you are a man. i would allow someone who is really close to me and the family for sure. then maybe a younger guy in high. it honestly feels odd having a man babysit. but it also depends on the age and gender of the kids he's watching. its complex. and not to generalize, but most guys don't seem really all that interested in taking care of small children unless they know that person well. so for me, it'd depend on many different things.
If you seem like a good role model, I'm sure you could find some familys of all boys who would love to have you come over. The thing is, it helps if you already know the families. Volunteer at church with the kids to "prove" that you can work well with them, and then point out that you'd love to sit for them.
Well, I use a girl because she's my sister. I'd be open to using a guy if I knew him well enough. Just like any girl I'd use.
Hello. I don't have much time so I didn't even read the other comments....hopefully I'm not just repeating something that several other people already said.
I personally don't normally allow guys to babysit my children because I was sexually abused as a child by an older foster brother. I am not only very cautious about men, but also with women.
I will say though that we have a very good friend in his late teens that I ask to babysit if he can find a girl (that we know and trust) to come along with him to babysit. I actually fully trust this young man, but it's simply an across the board rule for me....no guys babysitting my children alone.
I have 4 girls and 1 boy. My youngest is in diapers and I don't feel comfortable with guys changing my little girls diapers. But, even if it weren't for the diaper issue I still would stick to the rule I described above.
I hope this helps you understand and doesn't just discourage you. I
I would be concerned if my babysitters boyfriend was there. For a different reason though - and it would depend on their age. If they were teenager, I'd be worried that the babysitter would be more interested in making out with her boyfriend than watching my child.
But I don't think that all guys who want to be around children are weird pedophiles. Some guys are more nurturing than others. But, like any babysitter, I'd have to have references and be able to trust him though.
i would. i had a guy babysitter a few times back in the day and there are a few guys i know that babysit too. I don't know about having guy babysitters though. i guess i would have to know them REALLY well and seeing as i don't have kids thats really not an issue
@AlfieNgoSYOU@xanga - tons of guys babysit, or would, if given the chance. in highschool i did all the time for familes that went to my church, because they knew and trusted me, but a random family would never give an unknown-guy a chance. it's good money, and sometimes really easy, so why wouldn't guys want to do it?? lol, we don't all hate kids, you know!
"Plus if there was an attacker breaking into the house, wouldn’t it
be better to have a guy watching your child, than a girl, who’s
probably going to freak out and start screaming along with your child."
Really? That's quite the ignorant statement. I'm a girl and I started babysitting when I was fourteen. When I was fifteen, there was someone trying to break in the house, and me (being a female) called the cops immediately, screamed really loudly so that the person know someone was in the house, and took the boy I was looking after in his room with me and locked the door. Then I called his mom, and then my mom. Does that sound like freaking out? I don't think so.
Females are just as capable as males to be rational and to handle "scary" or stressful situations very well. Don't make generalizations like that; it shows ignorance. And I noticed you commented about how movies show that portrayal a lot, so that's why you said it. That's not an excuse. Movies also portray that black men are more liable to die first in life-threatening situations, and that men in general are idiots. Does that make them true? No. Stop stereotyping.
On the topic of your blog, though, people generally have girls babysit because a) it's tradition, b) women are most commonly thought of when it comes to child care, and c) teenage boys tend to show interest in other jobs such as lawn mowing, and not babysitting.
My brother and I have both babysit the kids next door, because we are both familiar with the family. I do get offered more babysitting jobs because I am a female, but the parents I sit for who are familiar with my family will ask my brother to babysit too. I don't get any lawn-mowing job offers though, but my brother gets many of them.
I think that it depends on the parents of the child being babysat, really. When I have kids, I would let a boy or girl babysit, as long as I knew the teenager well enough to feel comfortable leaving my child(ren) with him/her.