Being a single mom in a small town of less than 3000 people can be tough. Hell, being a single mom no matter where you live is tough! At one moment you're adored and prasied by all those that you help and go out of your way for. (If you're a mom, you do that...I know you do, because I do).
Curiously, the next moment your being sacked by those same people and talked about behind your back. Why?
I don't know. Maybe you're tired. If you're a single mom -I know you're tired. Maybe you're lonely, cause God knows we live in a lonely world. Raising kids is a daunting, overwhelming job for two people. So if you're alone doing the job of both parents....well, then you're amazing. And amazingly tired.
If you're a single Mom past the age of 30, you still cry over the challenges you face. But you're tougher than you were at 25. So you cry less. You're harder, because you have to be. No one really understands the load you deal with except for other Moms who are alone too in this war of child rearing.
So you feel doubly alone, and misunderstood. Sometimes it seems like you can't do anything right. When you do, no one notices. No one appreciates you like you deserve to be appreciated. You're the maid, the CEO, the cook, the taxi, the plumber, the nurse, the landscaper, the banker, the bread winner, and your freaking tired!
But you do it all.
Sometimes you're real good- on top of your game. Other times you stink at it. It seems like there's no happy medium. No balance to be found as the one woman band doing the hardest job that can ever be done -raising little people to be good, upright, productive big people one day. Shaping future citizens of the world is no small task!
You need a vacation, and a badge of honor.
Maybe you feel like you need one good man who will love you through it all -if you're lucky you might have one. If you're like most, there's not one around you can lean on, depend on, or trust. It's a sad fact of life for many of us.
As for this single Mom, who got past the pretenses and bull crap along time ago, I believe that doing certain things are not just fine- THEY MAKE you REAL.
For example...dropping off your kids at school in your PJ's is the sign of a real Mom. Occasionally feeding your little people cereal for dinner cause your too tired or sick and tired of cooking totally makes you a real mom. Or, not doing the laundry for a change--go ahead--the world will not fall down!
Expecting your teens to wash their own dirty clothes is not only healthy for them, it's VERY healthy for you. To expect those you cook for, to do dishes after your meal is over is not only reasonable, but it's an earned job for eating. Tell them to slap a smile on while they load that dishwasher.
For anyone who has something to say thats anything less than supportive because you might have fallen on your emotional butt (mentally or literally)...tell them to kiss yours. They don't have a clue now do they?
Do you have people in your life that let you down and highlight your flaws? Throw them an apron, dish gloves, your toilet bowl brush and your loads of laundry and tell them politely to put up or shut up! Reality check : What would those same people do with out you?
Now repeat after me....I'M NOT SUPERWOMAN, I'M NOT SUPERWOMAN, I'M NOT SUPERWOMAN (oh who are we kidding?!)
You're totally SUPERWOMAN!
SO you GO GIRL. Cry when you must. Yell when you hurt. Then get up again. Your the bravest of the brave; an unrecognized hero! I applaud you.
Comments (7)
I posted this one on the original post.
Thumbs up to all of you. And shame on them. You know who "they" are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsB3UgO_PMA
i love this post as a single mother! although neither of my children are old enough yet to do laundry or dishes, lol.
As a former single mom I have to say thank you. I think there are more than a few people I would have loved to have read this a few years back.
Amazing post!
Thank you for this really cool post. You have described what I think all single moms go through. I've been there, I am there and I can proudly say that I've learned to embrace my Superwomanness and tell anybody who can't handle it to go jump in front of a bus.
I think I will link to this in my blog Rich Single Momma. There are many single moms who need this right now.
Thanks again.
It's to bad that there aren't enough single moms in politics, this country could learn a few things. Single moms rock. There are a lot of deadbeat dads who should be arrested and put on a work farm and have their wages sent to the mothers of their kids. (sorry I have a real problem with deadbeat dads.lol) As an older guy (49) I am to old to start making babies and someday hope to meet a single mother and help raise the kid/kids together as a family. I know a lot of single mothers through my work (restaurant industry) who have to work twice as hard as anybody else and put up with a lot of crap just to keep their jobs from employers who take advantage of the fact. Hang in there ladies you are super and hopefully someday you will get the help and support you deserve.
@richsinglemomma - Wow. It's nice to see so many people who liked this post. My heart was fully in it when I wrote it. Not enough credit is given to Moms. Thank you for the coments-sincerely