Tuesday, 09 December 2008

  • Girls Gone Wild: A Glimpse of Life With 3 Kids Under 5

    Guest post from novelle360

    Girls Gone Wild

    Yesterday I got a glimpse of what life would be like if we had three children under 5.

    And how can I possibly convey how draining it was? Convey how completely and utterly taxing it was on my entire body? Convey how it tested every ounce of my patience right down to the molecules in my toenail cuticles? Convey what it does to a person to be surrounded by noise-making, primary color-draped plastic for hours uninterrupted? Convey how at the end of the day, I could barely walk up a flight of steps without ramming into the walls out of sheer exhaustion?

    How about this: If I had access to a blowtorch, I would personally solder my uterus shut.

    It's not that the kids didn't behave. In fact, they were wonderful. While Jerry and our friend Roger were working on the patio, I watched his daughters -- Kali, who turned 5 a few days ago, and Emma, 2 and a half. (And I'm pretty sure that half refers to parts per million of caffeine. Or maybe cocaine.)

    They never stopped. Not once. Not even when they accidentally rammed into a bench or a tree or a toy and fell over. They would just get up and continue along on their rampage of crazy. They're like those self-propelled vacuum cleaners -- once they hit an obstacle, they just spin around and keep going.

    And the talking. Oh, the talking.

    What's that mean? What's Daddy and Jerry doing? Why? Can I have some milk? Can I have some more? Can I hold the baby? Why's she doing that? Why does she put everything in her mouth? Where's Toby? Can he do that trick again? Why's he running away? I want that. Can I have that? Can I throw it? Why not? Why does Hanna Montana sing all the time? Watch this! Kelly! Watch this! I know, but watch again! Watch! My HANDS go above my HEAD! Can I show you my dance moves? Wait. That's not right. OK now watch. Now. I'm ready now. Kelly? ... Kelly? Why are you stuffing the grass in your ears like that? And poking the pine needles in your eyes?

    I think the most difficult part was having to be the best version of myself for so long. They demanded all of my attention and required every ounce patience and understanding and mediation skills I had to offer. When I thought I had nothing left to give, I dug into my reserves and pulled out another smile.

    Sure, there were times I thought about calling a cab and simply laying down in the middle of the road waiting for it to arrive. Particularly when I asked Emma if she would like some carrots and after sweetly replying "yes," she proceeded to scream "NO!" when I placed them in front of her. Then she swatted them onto the floor.

    After explaining to her that it's perfectly acceptable to change her mind, but not get angry about it, she repeated the process with Cheerios. THERE IS NO REASONING WITH A 2 YEAR OLD. End of snack time. Period.

    But in between the moments of chaos and flying vegetables, the girls really were a lot of fun.

    I loved facilitating a game of imagination where we turned a big blanket into a car, and the girls invented all sorts of different places to visit. It was nothing short of amazing to see their minds at work.

    But by no stretch of the imagination will I ever want that many kids that close in succession.

    I'd rather buy a blowtorch.

Related Posts

Comments (18)

  • Kristenmomof3@xanga

    I have been there. My children are 7, 6 and 4

    SO when the youngest was 1.....they were 4, 3, and 1

    They keep my busy but I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.
  • HawaiianHeldts@xanga

    Thank you for giving all of us mothers out  there with 3 (Mine are 4, 2 1/2 and 6 months) a little credit! It is EXHAUSTING everyday, all day, all 3 of them are non-stop! And like your experience they are pretty well behaved but oh MY it's a lot of work....but in all honesty...I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.....infact I may even be crazy enough to get pregnant again in about a year.....may.....
  • utlawgirl@xanga

    Mine are 5 and 1 1/2, and I have one on the way.  I can't say I'm looking forward to 3 kids that young, but, as my mom used to tell me back when I used to say I never wanted kids (things certainly changed!), it's different when they're yours. 

  • Brunhilda@xanga

    While you are in it, each day is an eternity, but then, in a blink, they are in their rooms ignoring you and thinking you are so not cool. I say, enjoy it while you can. I would be such a couch potato if it weren't for my 5 yr old!  
  • filtered_sunlight@xanga

    Kudos indeed to all the mothers out there that can do it!


    That said, I'll be in the kitchen...digging my ovaries out with a soup spoon.

  • tedder6@xanga

    I have 4 kids all 5 and under. Yes it is crazy. Yes it is non stop. But with each new addition to the family it takes a little while to get adjusted. But then you get into the groove. Get a little more organized, and things run much smoother.  Its also very different when they are your own children. You can appreciate their quirks, because most of the time you can recognise it in yourself or your husband. Kids are amazing. They are what makes life so interesting and exciting.  Kudos to you for being so pleasant with them. Sounds like you were one fun baby sitter, and your blog cracked me up.
  • Luv2BMama@xanga

    You described it to a T.  I have 3, ages 3 1/2, 2, and 7 months.  I laughed really hard reading all the questions, oh the questions, they can be exhausting themselves. 

  • i_love_nemo@xanga

    I had a phone call and thought the kids were done eating. I come back in the room and spegetti'os are on the floor, couch and the screen on the tv


     I was gone 5 min.
  • der_lila_Stern@xanga

    lol!  The greatest form of birth control is definitely borrowing some kids!
  • eugenia@xanga

    @der_lila_Stern@xanga - amen to that! hehe
  • livingfreeinnc@xanga

    Thats the life with a 4 yr. old and a 2 yr.lold!  And if i ever start thinking i'd like another i borrow the neighbors 3 yr .old twins!!!
  • stealingthesun@xanga

    i live in a neighborhood where the majority of children are 5 and under. on occasion, a neighbor will have a party, and ask me to babysit.


    first, they always forget to pay.


    second, when they do finally pay about 3 months later, it's only twenty dollars.


    third, I babysit every child in the neighborhood and all my neighbors' friends' kids. So I have 20 children, not even exaggerating, in a room about 12x20, where the oldest is 7 and the youngest is 1 1/2. they fight, literally leap off of chairs onto each other's heads, hit each other, hide in closets, run downstairs when i'm not looking, strip down and run around naked, hit each other with wooden swords, start wars between boys and girls, wet their diapers every ten minutes, cry because they miss their mommyl throw tantrums bcause nobody else wants to play Simon Says, attack me because I'm such an amazing target, spill drinks that I told them they couldn't have anyway, break the tv remote, give markers to the babies, draw on the babies, accidentally sit on the babies, sob hysterically because Justin has stolen Brannon's monkmonk and has threatened to give him a lobotomy, fall down and cry because their knee hurts, cry because everyone else is crying, break everything they can see, and just about make me want to go jump in the river. and these are long parties. i end up with 20 kids from 6 pm till 2 am.


    but this last time i caught a break. i only had 8 kids, and i only had to stay for 4 hours.


    i can totally empathize.
  • Erika_Steele@xanga

    ROFL. thanks for reminding me of why I really don't want another one while John is still under 4.
  • moonlight58@xanga
    I feel you...

    I am only a mom of two grown sons, and mine were 2 and a half years apart.  It drove me nuts just with those two...i can't even imagine three that young! So i am figuratively kneeling at your feet! You ARE the Queen. I would have called that cab thirty minutes sooner.


    A funny thing that i witnessed from my cashier days: As i was checking out this youngish couple, we were all trying to not obviously notice another couple at the next register with three screaming, crying, whining, combative kids. The lady at my register calmly looked at her hubby and said (in a tone loud enough for me to hear, too), "That reminds me...i need to take my birth control pill when we get home."


    What a good reminder! LOL!

  • Amyld@xanga

    3 under 5 isn't that hard...

  • PoetMcChick@xanga

    Usually with kids that young it's easiest to play WITH them rather than just watch them. You can keep them distracted, entertained, and happy for a long time if you do that. I noticed if I just watched my cousins (who were 5 years apart and HATED each other) they fought a lot more and got in my way a lot more and were just downright obnoxious. Once I started playing games with them or at least sat with them while they played games, they kinda kept quietly playing...UNTIL I GOT UP!!!! Haha...

    @stealingthesun@xanga - I think I need a nap after reading all that. Yikes.
  • javamommy@xanga

    @Amyld@xanga - i agree i had 4 5 and a half and under.By the time number 4 rolled around i was a seasoned pro lol.it does take some time to adjust with each new birth but then it becomes old hat.I love having my kiddos so close in age and wouldnt trade it for the world.They'r each others best friends,they play well together,and now i have 6 between the ages of 4and 11 i miss having more younger ones around
  • rabiaali

    I give you a lot of credit, I have 5 kids 5 and under and with a failed IUD found out I'm pregnant again.

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)

  • New! You can now edit your comments for 15 minutes after submitting.