Monday, 08 December 2008
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I'm a Work-At-Home-Mom and It's Not Easy!
Guest blog submitted by bluewingz
I have been officially a work-at-home-mom, WAHM, for 2 1/2 weeks now. And I didn't think it would be so hard. I mean, obviously, it wasn't going to be easy. I realized that. But what I thought was going to be hard (the work) is easy. The rest of it is where I get all screwed up.
My daughter has been the center of attention for the past year. A stay-at-home-mom, or SAHM, with nothing else to do besides housework occasionally = a baby who gets a lot of love and attention.
Now? There is this evil toy (my laptop) that has seemingly taken her place. I try to do most of my work when she is sleeping, but there's still a lot of overlap. Of course, I take a lot of play breaks, and we still do a lot of cuddling. But we both know it's not the same. And, if she figures she's not getting enough attention, she will get into things until I come over and grab her. I do try to finish up (for the most part) by 5:00, leaving us some time to hang out before bed., but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way!
Also, she is absolutely fascinated by the laptop. I open it up, and she is right there, pounding away on keys. If I try to stop her, she either laughs (great joke, mom!) or cries. She will chew on the side of it, push the screen around, and I get no work done.
I feel pretty guilty about the whole situation, but I'm not working just because I'm bored. We need for me to be working now too. And I really love my work as a writer. I'm actually starting to feel intelligent again. But, GAHHHH! Change sucks.
On the other hand, she does pretty well playing by herself. I'm so proud of her for being as OK with this as she is. And Mark, my hubby, has been great. He's picked up more of the housework, and gives me extra work time on his days off. Its nice to see us working around this financial crisis as a family, instead of both getting all stressed out over it. And we can finally afford cable, which- yeah- COOL!
Anyone else doing the WAHM thing? How did your children handle the change?
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Comments (17)
I know this is nothing to do with your question, but I NEED a job. Exactly how can you get a work-at-home job?
I hope things are improving with time! Change is really hard for everyone!
I totally agree with you, it's not easy! Great job for making it work for your family! It will get easier-- your little one will get used to it and you will too, particularly as it becomes a more consistent thing for you.
When my son was born I went to a part-time work arrangement with my firm when I returned from maternity leave. I go into the office Monday and Fridays, but on Wednesdays I work from home. For several months he was with me all day on the days I worked from home, but fairly early on I began sending him to a private home daycare even on the days that I work from home. I was just feeling like I was not working efffectively AND I was neglecting my son. However, I have on occasion worked extra days from home with my son home, but honestly, I don't know HOW you or others do it full time. I had to work with my son home last Thursday and he really does entertain himself quite well for a while (he'll be 2 in January), particularly if I'm on the floor, near him while he plays, or if I have kid's music playing (I don't know why this is the case, it just is for us), and the long afternoon nap was productive for me.
My desire is to be home full-time with my son, but we can't afford it, so atleast this way I am able to contribute to the family income and still be with him full-time more days than I'm not with him. It's hard though, and if I'm honest, I kind of feel like I'm getting the worst of both worlds rather than the best.
All in all though I think being a working Mom is just a guilty thing. I know a few Mom's that work full time that don't feel guilty, but for me, it just comes with the territory.
I didn't type this intending it to be a downer, I really do think it's great that there are options out there that allow Moms more flexibility... but you're right, it's not easy!
Wow, I guess I should take into advise cuz I prolly have it coming. I plan on getting a degree as a medical transcriptionist & doing it so when & if i ever have kids, they wont have to be stuck into some daycare.
Thanks for the heads up!
I wonder if you could find an old laptop that someone is giving away on Freecycle or Craigslist or something....that still turns on so she can bang on the keys and feel like she has a new cool toy like mom....???
I am in the process of becoming licensed as a family childcare provider. I live on an Air Force base, so I'll be keeping other people's children in my home with my 4 month old daughter. I will be basically running my own business, but I'm very nervous about having to take care of other children. My daughter is fairly easy to take care of, but what if I get a baby that cries constantly or something? Has anyone else done family child care?
@IamKelleyK@xanga - I didn't do daycare, but I watched a 2 year old boy for a while when my daughter was about 2 months old. It was crazy! I found it was easiest when I had both of them on the same level- A bouncer chair came in very handy when I was playing on the floor with the two year old. It's hard, but you'll find tricks that work for you. Good Luck!
I've been a WAHM since my daughter was born. In fact, a few days after I gave birth, I was collecting rent. My husband and I are apartment managers. It's a small complex and we are the only ones working. I do office and he does maintenance.
I am expected to be in the office 8 hours a day. My only gripe would be that I often get criticized for "taking breaks". My breaks are me trying to give my daughter a little change, get housework done, eat lunch etc... I wish the people criticizing me would realize that I'm doing the best that I can. If they want it done better, they should come do it themselves, including taking care of a 4 month old!!!!!
I'm often depressed and angry because I do feel like I'm not giving 100% to either the job or my daughter. I can't seem to make everybody happy and yeah, it's a little overwhelming.
I'm a Family Day Care mum. Started before my girl was born, stopped for 6 months and went back to it again. I work 4 days a week, with Wednesdays off, to spend time with her. She's great when there are other children around, won't cling to me and plays well with them. Started her early with other children and she understands that she doesn't get all the attention. The advantage of having other children around is that she gets the exposure to children of all ages and get to play with them everyday. The disadvantage now (she's almost 1yrs old) is that she won't let me go if there're no other children around. Thinking of a sibling for her already!!
It was heartbreaking initially when I couldn't cuddle her when she cried because I had another baby in my arms. I cried with them. Unfortunately, with FDC, the safety of other children outweighs mine because the responsibility is higher.
It certainly isn't easy being a WAHM, but it is definitely one of the most rewarding work ever, being able to look after your own children, photograph their first step, watch them fall and stand up again.
bluewingz, mine loves the music keyboard, computer keyboarda and telephone. I give her the old ones or broken down ones to use while I'm on my computer / telephone.
All the best to you, I'm sure you'll be able to work something out around the little person in the house!
- Yining
@IamKelleyK@xanga - Hi, if you want to talk abt FDC, I'll be happy to share my experiences with you. - Yining
I've been a WAHM since my son was born 3 years ago. It is tough, especially some days, but good for you for doing what's best for your family. It will get easier the older your daughter gets. Right now I'm sitting here tapping away on my couch while my 10 month old is trying to eat my lap top! hee...
I eventually found the things that occupied my son the best and saved those for when I had to work. His TV time was/is always during my work time. Routine is also terribly key to our household. I try and work during my kids' happiest times of the days so that during their more challenging times I can be playing with them. Good luck! You'll figure it out!
whether you work at home or go to the office, i feels its both challenging in different ways. i'm due to go back to work on jan 2nd and already feeling anxious. just hoping for a smooth transition.
*hugs* I think working at home is the hardest. I've heard that children have the hardest time understanding that set up ... mom is HOME, but she can't pay attention to me. I hope it works out!
I'm just wondering what kind of work at home jobs you moms do because everything I've looked into is a total scam. I think when you have to have time away from your child, the time with them is highlighted and more special. When I was just staying at home, I found myself getting frustrated. Now I go to school full time and work and all I wanna do is get home and have quality evenings and days off and weekends with my son. As long as you show them they're important and give them time that is just for them, they adjust:)
My sister works from home as a Medical Transcriptionist. She works nights after her kids have gone to bed. Not sure if that would be an option for you or not, but maybe?
What kind of work do you do from home? I'm sure there are many moms here who would love to be able to find something that is not a scam, that would help them provide for their families. I don't have kids at home, but I would love to find something to do from home!
Ditto to the "what job are you doing that's work at home and not a scam" >> And sorry I can't help with the kid sitch...I'm only 20, and just engaged, no kids for about 5 years if we do this "wait for a good time" thing right ^__^; No car = no job = no pay and my fiance is the only one working and getting rides from a friend. :)
I love hearing this.
I know two girls who are refusing to work because they have kids and both of them are on welfare. White trash sucks.
Of course, they see no problem with everyone else funding their babies. Morons, really.