Tuesday, 02 December 2008
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Santa Claus: Real or Make-Believe?
by Mama Fox 
At our family Thanksgiving gathering we had to work around the question "What did you ask Santa for?" An innocent question but also a bit confusing to my boys. Why? Because we don't tell them that Santa is a real person. They know about a little about him but at this point they do believe in Santa, the same way I believe in Santa. He is the spirit of joy and giving. They don't think he's a real person but that doesn't make him any less real.
We didn't make any decision about Mr. Claus until last year. Papa Fox and I talked for a long while about it and came to the conclusion that we won't lie to them about it. We both remember the heart breaking days we found out that Santa wasn't real. We think that there's enough magic in the season without adding a fictional character. The boys have been buzzing about Yule for weeks now, none of that has to do with Santa. They have been talking about making cards for family and giving them gifts. Of course being kids, they have their own wish lists. We're working on teaching them that this is a time for celebrating our families and the great year we had, rather then focusing on the materialistic aspects of it. I hope that once they are a little older we can all volunteer some of our time to give to those in need.
I've already had a conversation with H about how some kids believe Santa is a real person that brings presents on Christmas so we need to be careful what we say. I know there will be many talks over the years about not ruining it for other children who do believe. I think "outing Santa" is the parents' job, not something heard on the playground. I would hate for one of my boys to be responsible for a too early talk about that. I'm sure it will probably happen at least once but I'm going to do my best, without lying, to make sure that whatever magic a child believes it stays real for the longest time possible.
How does/did your family handle the Santa question? Did you believe that Santa was real?
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Comments (53)
It took me 13 years to figure out Santa wasn't real. Sure, I went to public school, but what kid talks about Santa in front of their friends?
I don't think we ever talked about it, but since I helped my mum wrap presents, I didn't believe in Santa, anyway.
I believed in Santa until I was eight. The year I found out that he wasn't real was the worst christmas of my life.
I was eight when I found out. A nasty classmate told me about the easter bunny and santa, so it was pretty rotten lol!
Tim and I are headed in the same direction as yourself & Papa Fox. It might seem small and silly now, but at 8 years old, when I went into mom's closet looking for my cat and found the hoard of presents labeled, "From: Santa" in October? I was heartbroken and mom was branded a liar. I don't want to do that to Megan. We'll also be working hard to keep her from ruining it for the other kids, too.
my parents always put emphasis on the true meaning of the holiday. even to this day my dad becomes the broken record starting Thanksgiving: "Jesus is the reason for the season!" and we always talked about family being important.
however, my parents still allowed us to go and get our picture taken with santa. I think it was a ploy to figure out what we wanted cuz that's the only time my parents would ask! but they never said he was real. we figured that the unwrapped larger gifts were from santa (more likely b/c they were too big to be wrapped!) and if we ever asked who the unwrapped gifts were from my parents would ask, "what does the label say?" "it doesn't say who it's from!" "then you don't know, do you?"
I'm not sure when I found out he wasn't, but it didn't bother me b/c I wasn't ever explicitly told he was real. I assumed that on my own. but of course, I didn't ruin it for my lil bro. but he eventually pointed out that the "to" on the large gifts matched my mom's handwriting, lol
I look at Christmas much different today than I used to. Those of you who have read any of my comments or posts know that I am a Christian and Jesus is the center of my life. That said, I don't see the necessity in going through the whole make believe guy who brings presents to kids when we have a real person who brought so much more than a few store-bought gifts! Santa can be fun - but too often he's the central focus of Christmas - and if we aren't careful - we can unintentionally teach our kids it's all about what they can get!
I say stick with Jesus! He loved us so much that He came and willingly died for us because we are so bad and undeserving that we can't make it to Heaven without Him. No amount of good we can do will ever be good enough to get us there. As for Santa Claus - well, he only shows up if you've been "good" - and he's not even real! And for all those "bad" kids out there who still get presents under their tree (what parent really leaves their kid out when they don't deserve anything) - what joy in knowing there is someone who will forgive your badness (that's probably not a word!) and change your life - and not just on one day of the year!
Santa can be fun - but he's not what we should be celebrating at Christmas.
~ Merry Christmas! ~
I don't remember how old I was, but I do remember catching my mother wrap up last minute gifts on christmas eve when I was young. And I was devistated. I called my mother a liar and refused to open any gifts that year.. well for a little while anyway.
I decided when I was pregnant with my first that I would never lie to my child in that way and spread a story that really only breeds greed. Instead my kids know where their gifts come from and appreciate how hard mommy and daddy work for them. We also do a holiday project every year and make gifts for everyone and they all love it, we handmake the entire thing - even the gift bags and cards.
We don't celebrate the christian christmas in my house though, we celebrate the solstice.
I don't remember how I found out... I think I always knew and that my parents being santa didn't bother me because the idea that someone loved me enough to bring me presents was good enough. I think that will be the approach we will have about Santa. I think it is easier for kids to understand if you leave out all that elves and north pole bit... then instead of someone with an address it is more like an idea. I hated Christmas programs when I was a kid (all those 'classics' I hated to watch) because it seemed cheesy and overworked to me... and a little creepy...
Although how my husband found out about Santa is hilarious!
When he was around 8 and a kid on the playground told him Santa wasn't real and he came home and asked his mom, she said that she was santa and brought him gifts every Christmas. He was ok with that explanation so she thought it was a good time to tell him about the Easter Bunny - when she said the Easter Bunny wasn't real he began crying!!!!
we've always been truthful about santa, we tell them it's a fun make believe person who isn't real, but some kids like to believe he is real. Our neighbors have an 8 year old (and younger ones) which she is STILL trying to convince that Santa is real...it's a little weird to me.
@chiltons99@xanga - I'm not sure that I can really tell my daughter out of one side of my mouth that there is no Santa, and then out of the other "BUT...there is a bearded man named Jesus who is real." I think part of this is about whether parents should perpetuate fantasy, regardless of what it may be. Some people call their fantasy Santa, some call it Jesus, some call it UFOs (that would be the scientologists). It just seems like there should be consistency. Either you tell your children there are "characters" with magical powers or there aren't. It seems what name you give the character in the story is not what matters. Luckily, no one has yet gone to war over their beliefs (or lack of belief) in Santa....yet.
My parents didn't do santa with us and I don't do santa with my child.
Keep CHRIST in CHRISTmas.
I don't have an issue with Santa as a holiday character, BUT I will NOT lie to my child(ren) and tell them that he is real. My goal is to build a relationship of trust with my children and to lie to them at such an early age and to continue that lie for years on end is not something I ever want to do. I am a Christian and am raising my son that way. I don't see how I could possibly expect him to believe me about Jesus if I lied to him about Santa.
With that being said, I will try very hard as he gets older to explain to him that other children do believe that Santa is real and it's not up to him to tell them otherwise.
@lucysmama - Jesus was a real person on this earth. The issue that people have in regards to Jesus is not about him being real, its about whether or not he was the Son of God and died and rose from the the dead.
Santa Claus is not real and has NEVER been real. The idea of him is loosely based on a real person--Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas was a man who lived during the 3rd century, he was devoted to God and he used his inheritance to help the needy, sick, and suffering. Over time the secular world transformed St Nicholas into Santa Claus. The Santa Claus that we are familiar with in this country became popular in the 19th century.
@lucysmama - Romans 1:21 says that God's creation is clearly seen and that man is without excuse as to whether to not he believes.
If you do not believe Jesus is real...your soul is in real danger, as is your child's if you teach her the same thing. But that's one of the beautiful things about God - He doesn't force himself on you. If you go to hell because you reject Him, it will be of your own choosing. So if you choose to celebrate Santa at Christmas - that's completely your choice also. However, if you are right and Jesus is just a fantasy - what's the worst that will happen to either of us? But if I am right and He is the Living God - what will happen to you?
I once had a parent upset with me because my kids told her kids there was no santa. It's not that I'm mean about it, or really strict or harsh. I'm like you, I just don't make a big deal about Santa. I'm not anti-Santa, as some would believe. I don't have a problem with others wanting their children to believe in Santa. It's just one of those things, we decided not to tell our children that he's real. I believe that if you lie and tell kids there's a Santa, why should they believe you about Jesus? Anyway, back to the mom who was upset with me. I explained to my children that other families have different beliefs and ways of doing things, and we should be careful. It's okay if we encounter someone who believes in Santa. We don't have to make a big deal about it. I don't want my kids to spoil the fun of others, so I try to teach them to be sensitive to those type of issues.
We did the whole Santa thing when my oldest two were little. By the time our third child came aournd, I was pretty disillusioned with the fat man in the red suit. See.. I spent so much time picking out the presents, paying for them... stuffing the stockings ect.. and then Santa got all the credit. About the same time I began to realize that the 'lie' about Santa was being questioned by my older kids.. like why don't all the children get presents from Santa.. How could Santa make the same toys I see at Toys R Us... AI friend told me that at 15 she decide there was no God. See, her parents told her Santa was real, the tooth Fairy was real and the Easter bunny was real.. even though she couldn't see them... Then she realized it was all pretend. Well they said God was real too and she can't see him either, so God must be a lie as well.
I wanted my children to be able to trust me, to know I'd never deliberately lie to them. So we changed Christmas at our house.
It was pretty easy to stop the whole Santa thing. We just explained about the historic figure of St. Nicholas. And explained the gifts and Santa thing were based on that. Now we wrap all the gifts and we put more focus on celebrating the Birth of Jesus Christ... which is what the holiday is supposed to be about.
SANTA IS REAL! I KNOW! IN MUH HEART!
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - That comment soooo goes with your profile pic. lol Cute.
@sunshinekl@xanga - Yes, I am aware of the historical basis for the person Jesus. However, his "powers" and being the son of God and virgin are myth. That was the point I was making. I am also aware of the myth Santa evolving from the stories of St.Nicholas. That is entirely my point--That a person existed does not suddendly give them the supernatural powers just because stories have developed subsequently..
My mom was never big on the Santa thing. She never explicitly said one
way or the other on whether he was real or not, but every time Dad
would try to label a present "From Santa" she'd rip the tag off... I
was already not believing in Santa when I heard my parents wrapping
presents Christmas eve when we were all in bed, so that just confirmed
it, and I went to sleep.
Finding out that the tooth fairy wasn't real, however, made me cry.
@lucysmama - Do you celebrate Christmas? If so why?
i hate the fact that my parents had to tell me at a young age that santa was just fictional and they were playing as him. i think you did a good thing by starting off telling them the truth. i mean now it;'s like the magic of christmas is ruined for me and my sisters already knew he wasn't real. i was the oly one in my family who still believed he exsisted. yeah so i knew that he didn't really but it was nice to pretend
Being that Santa is not just loosely based on St. Nicholas, but very much based on St. Nicholas, there is nothing not to believe in. :) My children, 9 and 6, very much believe in Santa, and we're so very happy that they have a very sweet magical innocence about them. Naturally they know that the true meaning of Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birth, too, so nothing is lost. Believing in Santa and knowing that Jesus is the reason for the season are two wonderful things that my children are taking part in.
Both Santa and Jesus can safely be a part of Christmas without doing any harm.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. :)
@chiltons99@xanga - Is this like lottery for the soul, you have to play to be saved? I guess I'm willing to take my chances with the heaven and hell gamble. I assume that if this God you speak of is so all knowing, he will know I lived a good, honest life (which has nothing to do with believing in Jesus, or God, or any higher being) and will be happy I had the good sense not to believe whatever the latest bunch of money hungry preachers were selling. Also,if you go to hell just because you don't buy into it, then hell is where I would like to be, in good company with the rest of the people who didn't get brainwashed by religion. I'd go crazy if I had to hang out with the bible-thumpers in heaven. (You can clearly see I do not think either of these things happens and this heaven/hell as a reward/threat system is merely a design to get people to behave in a way that is suited to the organization that propagates the ideas. It seems to be a good system--it has a lot of people watching their every move and worrying about burning in hell.)
Also, how did you find out about all of this? Did God come and give you a message personally? Or are you relying on some other falliable people to carry such important information to you? Say...normal everyday people who wrote the Bible? There are people who write some good stuff these days too, but it doesn't mean you take it as the word of God, do you? Just stop and think about it for a moment. You are so wrapped up in the religion you can't see how little sense it makes. If you want to believe it anyway, fine. But you certainly shouldn't be so egotistical as to think you know whether OTHER peoples' souls are in trouble. That would make you almost as omniscient as God, wouldn't it?
@sunshinekl@xanga - An why do I celebrate Christmas? Being non-religious does not make one a sociopathic hethan. I actually sponser a family and donate gifts to a family less fortunate than my own every year, because I am lucky that I have many good things in my life and can afford to help others. It is also the time I spend with my family and friends enjoying each others' company, good food, good music and good times. We have traditional meals that have been passed down for generations that we do every Christmas Eve. We decorate the house so that it looks ands smells delightful. Though we don't exchage many presents because we feel like people usually have more than they need, we do exchange some and then we spend the time playing with kids and often the adults play board games. Don't most people celebrate Christmas or other holiday festivities to be with loved ones? If it were REALLY about Jesus why not spend the evening in prayer in silence, alone? Or if it were really about being so pious, why don't more families give to other families in need? There are long lists of families with nothing.