Sunday, 23 November 2008
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My Thoughts on Sterilization...
by Mama Fox 
Just the other night, I turned to my husband and said "I want another baby." Luckily my husband knows the drill and just says "uh-huh" in a non committing way and turns back to the TV. Seem heartless? Not really. He just knows me well enough to know that me saying I want another baby isn't any different from me saying "Hey it's supposed to rain tonight". It's a matter of fact. He learned over the last year that it's pointless to even discuss it with me.
I still do want another baby, fleetingly anyway. I would love to have a newborn, a small curled up little baby, sleeping on my chest. The peaceful times in the rocking chair nursing. That baby smell that lotion tries to but can't quite recreate. The tiny socks and cute outfits. The adoring look that babies save for their mamas. Basically, I want all the pleasant things that come with babies. I have not forgotten the sore nipples, the sleepless nights, the HUGE amount of laundry that comes with them too. Which is why no matter how much I want a baby, I am not crazy enough to try to follow through with that.
I am 22 years old and no longer physically able to have children. My husband is the same. We have been sniped, burned and tied. The transportation channels of baby making stuff has been severed, closed permanently, in both of us. Papa Fox had a vasectomy January 12, 2007. I had my tubes tied during my csection in November 2, 2007. Yup, if you do the math, my youngest is a vasectomy baby. Let's just say it is best to use birth control every single time until the follow up test. He was a pleasant surprise and I am extremely happy that he is in our lives.
Sterilization is not something to take lightly. If you are at all unsure about it, go with long term birth control. While it can be reversed the success rate is rather low. And really why would you go through all that just to change your mind then have it reversed just have to do it again? I decided against the birth control. For one reason, hormonal birth control makes me crazy. Seriously. Absolutely nuts. Second, there was no reason to wait. Regardless of our age we felt our family was complete.
I was 100% sure about Papa Fox getting a vasectomy and again 100% sure about getting my tubes tied. We had discussed it for a year before he scheduled the big V. We researched our options and decided that Papa Fox going under the knife (cauterizing tool) would be the best, both with the actual procedure, healing time and effectiveness. While both are extremely effective tubals do have a slightly higher failure rate. I'm sure everyone has heard the stories about either one failing.
When we discovered I was pregnant with our third (and extremely fertile it seems) and going to have a c-section, it seemed silly not to get snipped myself. Not for fear of Papa Fox looking at me and getting me pregnant again (
) but for more long term and somewhat depressing reasons. In the case that he dies, which is a very real possibility given his career choices, or we divorce I do not want to have children with anyone else. He will forever be the father of my children. Getting a tubal just ensures that.
I was and still am 100% sure I don't want any more kids. I have my three wonderfully amazing boys and am enjoying my youngest's transition from babyhood into toddlerville. I still think about those early baby days. I have very fond memories of the time. I don't want to relive it but it is still nice to think about. I have resigned myself to just stealing moments with friend's babies (although I'll have to forgo the breastfeeding part of the rocking chair time.) Sure I love babies but with the ability to hand them back to their parents.Have you or your significant other been sterilized? If not, is this something you're considering in the future?
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Comments (22)
Actually just made a post right before I saw this one. :)
We are currently pregnant with our first and planning to have more. At this point, I don't think I ever want to have it done. I would rather have the option of another child if we randomly decided to change our minds. I might change my mind later on, but at this point I'd say it is not in the future plans.
We have thought about doing it in the future. We are sure we want to adopt a child, but are not one hudred percent sure if we ever want to have a child of our own. Given my family history having a biological child is a scary thought (since nearly every boy in our family is handicapped in some form or another, and everyone else it seems have several diseases).
We are still young, but I would love to get off the pill becase it makes me pretty crazy (luckily I found that seasonique makes me less crazy than the others) and I am at extreamly high risk for a heart attack. So these tought are often on my mind.
Thought provoking as always. I look forward to reading more comments!
we are thinking about whether we want a second....once that decision is made, then we will most likely go a sterilization route. When I'm done, I'm done.
No, No. But i'm not "capable" of having a child anyways. I'd lose it before the 2nd trimester. My body is a ticking time bomb.
I have, although not by choice. I had to a have both of my tubes and one ovary removed last May. I desperately want another child =(
I don't think I ever would want to. I'm known to change my mind on the thought of a drop of a hat.
My hubby had the big V done after our fourth baby. I would have liked to have another child or two, but my hubby's health was the main factor. He suffers from headahces 24/7, 365 days - for the last 7 years. He felt that it was all he could truly handle. He felt we were done after our third, but I truly did not, and he respected that. When we got pregnant with the fourth, it was a dual decision!
We couldn't imagine life without him. And I'm totally fine with the fact that we're done. BUT - I would LOVE to go through pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding a newborn - and snuggling a newborn and all that -------if only I didn't have to raise them! 
I'm young yet, and my love life is rocky at best. But I've never physically wanted to -have- children. I ADORE children, but it also makes more ethical sense, to me...to adopt instead.
I've THOUGHT about fixing it so I could never have children, but haven't come to an overall decision because (1. I'm young yet, although it's unlikely I'll change my mind, it's a bit early for me to be definitive on this subject. and (2. It's entirely possible that I'll love someone so much that I'll want to give them everything they want. That could be a child...and again, it's better to see what choice I arrive at then. And (3. I'm not sure I can afford the process or if I'll be able to in the future.
As for having a relationship with someone who's sterile, I wouldn't mind. Again, I've always wanted to adopt.
I think its wonderful to read all the comments about people who want to adopt. My hubby and I have not been able to have children of our own yet (though we know we will, just not now) so we become foster parents.
Along with adoption, I would encourage any couple with love to give and the willingness to open their hearts to an "unwanted" child to become foster parents. Its an incredible experience (at least here where we live).As for sterilization, we haven't had our first yet and we want five so um no, not an option.Not right now. lol. I actually want another baby this very second. Haha. And my husband wants one too. We're just waiting til the time is right, is all. After all, our baby is only 6 months old right now. We want to wait til she's at least a year old. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and just enjoy this one baby for right now. It's a hard thing to do! But, i know it'll be better in the long run.
We have one child, with one on the way, and I'm not so sure about a third at this point. I think if we do end up with 3 kids, I'll make hubby get a V, because the lord knows I really wouldn't be able to handle more than 3 kids at once. But other than that, we probably wouldn't have any form of sterilization done.
Before I had Sean, we wanted two kids. Sean came and we are seriously content with just one now. I think we are done. We have until Derek is 25, to debate on wanting more kids or not. I mean, I get that baby-fever, where I want another baby... but I don't think I could deal with going through another Sean all over again. Haha. Plus I would be too scared of having a little girl. ;)
We haven't had children yet, so it's not in our plans. And honestly, I don't think it ever would be unless there were several very good reasons (like if we'd already had two or three kids, and for some reason having another baby would pose severe medical dangers). I guess, really, I'm more at the "Let's hurry up and get hitched and make some young 'uns!" stage than the "Oh, man, let's NEVER do this again!" stage, LOL.
I would like to have it done at some point in my life. It's a tough decision to make, but it benefits the entire family.
The thought of having another child terrifies me. I don't want to be pregnant again! Thankfully the pill works very well for me, because I'm not comfortable with surgery either.
we have one child. i want more! maybe one...or two. who knows. we had no problems really GETTING pregnant it was the staying pregnant with our daughter.
My main thing is not having to go through miscarriages again. we had two before our daughter so that always comes to mind when we're considering any type of birth control.
right now i have an IUD a 2 year one and the 2 years will be up next june so thats when we're going to start to plan for another baby. I never got along well with hormonal birth control not to mention im horrible at remembering pills! sooo....thats never worked well for us!
we'll see what the future brings...im almost certain it will be the hubby going for the snip though! LOL
I never wanted children, was so sure about this. It's not that I don't like children, I love my godson to death, but it's so nice to give him back at the end of the weekend. So me, have a baby? No way!
So imagine my surprise when I found out that I was pregnant. Dread is not a word I ever thought I would use towards pregnancy or children, but it was the first to pop into my head. And that my life was over. Then I learned it's called Shock, and it's normal. I'm happy to say that I'm adjusting quite well to it all, despite the crazy mood swings and cravings and peeing 3 times in the middle of the night.
Everyone says that the love you feel for your child is unlike anything you'll ever experience, and I can't wait. I think it will make me want to have more children (someday!).
My hubby's 43, he's got 7 kids (the last six with me), and the last pregnancy nearly did me in, so it was a pretty simple decision to go have him snipped before our sweet number six had even arrived. ; )
I had my tubes tied almost 10 years ago...long before I met my now hubby...
I had 4 children to my ex husband and my hubby had 3 to his ex, so in a way my tubal was a blessing as we REALLY don't want more then 7 anyway:)...
Sometimes it makes me sad...my youngest is 9 and though he still adores his momma, he's kinda big and heavy for the chest cuddling thing....lol
A few months back we thought I was pregnant ( I seriously went through so many symptoms and my period was about 2 months late!) but it turns out that I was not (just stressed which kind of created a false pregnancy)...in a way i was very happy with the thought but in a way i was NOT...even so it was a little sad to find out i wasn't...
BUT I am still glad that I had my tubal. My hubby and I will be relatively young when our youngest graduates, at 46...still young enough to enjoy alot of alone time together doing what we want....and we are old enough that we can get our baby fixes from grandchildren (but I am hoping to have about 5 years or more on that one...)
I would, and will after my second child. I have no plans to have a huge baby, or have a "surprise"