Sunday, 23 November 2008
by Mama Fox
Just the other night, I turned to my husband and said "I want another baby." Luckily my husband knows the drill and just says "uh-huh" in a non committing way and turns back to the TV. Seem heartless? Not really. He just knows me well enough to know that me saying I want another baby isn't any different from me saying "Hey it's supposed to rain tonight". It's a matter of fact. He learned over the last year that it's pointless to even discuss it with me.
I still do want another baby, fleetingly anyway. I would love to have a newborn, a small curled up little baby, sleeping on my chest. The peaceful times in the rocking chair nursing. That baby smell that lotion tries to but can't quite recreate. The tiny socks and cute outfits. The adoring look that babies save for their mamas. Basically, I want all the pleasant things that come with babies. I have not forgotten the sore nipples, the sleepless nights, the HUGE amount of laundry that comes with them too. Which is why no matter how much I want a baby, I am not crazy enough to try to follow through with that.
I am 22 years old and no longer physically able to have children. My husband is the same. We have been sniped, burned and tied. The transportation channels of baby making stuff has been severed, closed permanently, in both of us. Papa Fox had a vasectomy January 12, 2007. I had my tubes tied during my csection in November 2, 2007. Yup, if you do the math, my youngest is a vasectomy baby. Let's just say it is best to use birth control every single time until the follow up test. He was a pleasant surprise and I am extremely happy that he is in our lives.
Sterilization is not something to take lightly. If you are at all unsure about it, go with long term birth control. While it can be reversed the success rate is rather low. And really why would you go through all that just to change your mind then have it reversed just have to do it again? I decided against the birth control. For one reason, hormonal birth control makes me crazy. Seriously. Absolutely nuts. Second, there was no reason to wait. Regardless of our age we felt our family was complete.
I was 100% sure about Papa Fox getting a vasectomy and again 100% sure about getting my tubes tied. We had discussed it for a year before he scheduled the big V. We researched our options and decided that Papa Fox going under the knife (cauterizing tool) would be the best, both with the actual procedure, healing time and effectiveness. While both are extremely effective tubals do have a slightly higher failure rate. I'm sure everyone has heard the stories about either one failing.
When we discovered I was pregnant with our third (and extremely fertile it seems) and going to have a c-section, it seemed silly not to get snipped myself. Not for fear of Papa Fox looking at me and getting me pregnant again () but for more long term and somewhat depressing reasons. In the case that he dies, which is a very real possibility given his career choices, or we divorce I do not want to have children with anyone else. He will forever be the father of my children. Getting a tubal just ensures that.
I was and still am 100% sure I don't want any more kids. I have my three wonderfully amazing boys and am enjoying my youngest's transition from babyhood into toddlerville. I still think about those early baby days. I have very fond memories of the time. I don't want to relive it but it is still nice to think about. I have resigned myself to just stealing moments with friend's babies (although I'll have to forgo the breastfeeding part of the rocking chair time.) Sure I love babies but with the ability to hand them back to their parents.
Have you or your significant other been sterilized? If not, is this something you're considering in the future?