maybe she was hurting.. teething.. or something?  doesn't sound like she was acting like her usual self.  when my son isn't acting like himself and is whiny, crying, cranky and generally unhappy with anything and everything i do, etc.  i try a dose of tylenol, he's had a hard time with his teething, and the tylenol usually works, takes a while to kick in, but after it does, he is his usual happy self again. 

it's different with a temper tantrum though, i have to take him outside and wait for him to calm down.  you're right, people can be very rude and judgmental (parents to other parents!!)  just ignore them!!!  or look them right in the eye and smile and say hi.. i've done that and people usually stop staring then.  i don't know why, maybe it's b/c you're openly acknowledging that they're staring, which is rude.  so they stop?  I don't know, but it works sometimes!  they're not walking in your shoes, you have every right to be with your children in public. 

my son threw a fit in the mall once, so i took him out of the store we were in, and out into the mall to a cluster of benches and sat down..  several other people were sitting on various benches, and when i sat down with a crying one year old, (he just turned two)  they all got up and scattered.  i felt the uncool kid in jr. high that sits at a lunch table and all the other kids get up and move. ha! 

good luck on your next family outing/dinner!! and stare right back!! ha

i've had very few experiences eating out with the kids i watch and all of them have been good. as long as nathaniel had food, he was behaved very well.

When my son was 8 months old, a friend and I went out for lunch, and he was fine until we sat down to eat, and he just started throwing the biggest fit he had ever thrown at that time, and of course theres always those rude people who just sit and stare, but Im not the quiet type of person who just lets people stare, of course I said something. But i totally know what you mean about kids and dinner.

My kids know better than to throw fits - in public or at home.  We don't tolerate it.  I would imagine that the people who were staring were hoping that you would get the message that your child's behavior was disrupting their meal, and that the courteous thing to do would be to remove her from the restaurant.  My husband and I have worked hard to raise well-behaved children.  Yet we still get the "Oh, No!" looks from people when we go into a restaurant, because most folks have come to expect nothing but misery if they are unfortunate enough to be seated next to a family with small children.  Usually, by the end of a dinner out, people are stopping by our table to tell us how good our kids are and what a good job we are doing of raising them.  Personally, after putting in all the effort to be able to go out to eat with my kids without having to contend with discipline issues in public, I rather resent it when the parents at the next table allow their child to subject us all to relentless crying or whining.

@filtered_sunlight@xanga @Beautiful_Disaster_74@xanga - @Meahsmom@xanga - - Thanks for your comments.  But we didn't stick around for dessert.  We were in the middle of our meal and I DID take her out until she calmed down.  When I came back she started up again and we left ASAP.  We were not just sitting there letting her throw a fit.  I am not that kind of mother.  I am a person who is considerate of others and appreciate it when they are considerate of me as well.

@ImAQuiet1@xanga - Thank you for your comment.  Since she's only 19 months old I know we're still in the learning process.  Here's hoping it was just a cranky night!

You did the right thing by trying to figure out what the problem was and how to solve it and then by packing up and going home when you couldn't get your daughter to calm down.

It might be that the people at the next table were thinking sympathetic thoughts and aching to help with your problem but did not know you so did not feel they could. It is really hard sometimes to mind your own business when somebody next to you is struggling with a difficult situation. I know I sometimes struggle with this frustration when I am near a parent who is having a hard time with a fussy child.

One of the things I always stuck by with my six children was that when we were out in public and they could not behave well we went home. I didn't scold them or spank them. I just when home. They learned that it was important to keep their behaviour appropriate this way. Sometimes though kids just aren't able to behave well because they are sick,upset by the circumstances or just too immature to handle the circumstances yet. In time and by going to different kinds of places with your kids will learn how to deal with lots of situations well. Hang in there and keep plugging away!!!!!

@TashaDW_18@xanga - Read your reply, and definitely, by packing her (and the rest of the family) up and leaving, you did the right thing, and really, all you could do (short of a few drops of whiskey in the baby bottle, which tends to be best reserved for crowded international flights, LOL.  Please, no one flame me for that, I'm being semi-facetious.) 

I think this is what it boils down to: It's not reasonable for people to think they'll never be within 1,000 yards of a crying baby, but it's also not reasonable to expect people who decided to leave their children at home with a sitter (for their one quiet, adult night out a week or month or longer) to deal with a screaming kid.  If they wanted that, they wouldn't have gone out in the first place. 

As for the stares, remember, not everyone is considerate enough to remove their kids when they act up.  So when your daughter started, your fellow diners were probably expecting the worst.  As personal as it may have felt, it probably wasn't--it was probably just the result of some bad experiences thanks to other, less-considerate parents.   

I admire the way you handled the situation.  Most of us have been right where you are and I believe we all do the best we can.  I am sure there are parents out there who think they are perfect parents with perfect children but I have been around long enough to know that those parents aren't perfect and their children aren't either.

As for the people who wish to defend their rude behavior by pointing their finger back at the person they are staring or glaring at or making rude comments about....they are too ignorant to realize that blaming someone else for their own rudeness is childish and not justifiable.

I have a child with special needs and I take him out to family friendly community events of all sorts.  He usually behaves and when he doesn't, we try to correct the behavior or we leave as quickly as possible (like you explained that you tried to do).  Still, there is always someone that feels a need to be hateful by giving dirty looks or making rude comments about how we should discipline our child.  (Honestly, there are times I am tempted to let my child sit there and have his fit just to irritate the rude people even more.  Alas, I never actually do this... not out fear of more dirty looks but out of my desire to see to my child's needs. )

Our children learn how to behave in public by being in public.  They will act up from time to time.  Other people just need to get over themselves.  Let them stare and glare and let them feel superior.  Go about doing your thing with your family.  I actually pity those rude people because they are bullies who are raising bully children and it will come back and bite them in the rear when their own kids grow up to be self absorbed and selfish children who have no compassion and no desire to be attentive children when their parents age.

@filtered_sunlight@xanga - And what does staring and glaring solve?  How does being rude in return to a child's behavior solve the problem?  What respect does it show?  You are claiming that a family having a rough night is rude and disrespectful.  Staring, glaring, and calling into question the way someone is raising their child isn't rude or disrespectful?  One person's perceived poor behavior is now justification for your own?  Wow...I wish I had known that earlier in life.  I could have been a lot more hateful and snotty for the past 35 years of life if only you had come along and told me that it is okay to treat others they way I think they have treated me rather than following the true golden rule of treating others the way I want to be treated.  What a fabulous idea! 

Staring and glaring is rude, it is that simple.  Why don't you just go over there and confront the family and tell them that you have a right to be there and they don't because they couldn't possibly have paid just as much you to eat the same food and they obviously went there knowing they could ruin your evening?  Go on...walk up to a parent one day and tell them what a crappy job you think they are doing and let me know how that works out for you.  Who knows?  Maybe they will bow down and kiss your feet and thank you for opening their eyes then ask you to come by and give them pointers on how to raise their own children.  

And by the way...one of the first lessons I learned in a group for parenting children with special needs is that if a child is tantruming as an avoidance tactic...letting them out of the activity only reinforces the idea that tantruming will get what what they want.  It isn't unlike giving a child whatever they want to shut them up....It backfires immediately. Quite frankly, if someone else has to suffer for a few minutes in order for me to discipline my child properly then so be it.  According to your own example....I have a good reason to disregard everyone who I feel marginalizes my child because I think they were rude long before my child was.  After all, he can't always control his behavior but any adult with a sound mind should be able to control their own behavior and choose to not be hateful or judgemental.  Hey! Your methods are fantastic!

awww, well im not sure, i dont have any kids but my brothers are nightmare when we go out

my mom told me acutally not long ago,
[randomly came into the convo we where having]

that when i was really little, my mom and dad went for a meal, i was the only child then and apparently, i climbed and crawled all over the tables
mom and dad didnt go again for a LONG time >_<
but dont let put u off =)

children will be children, but i hope that u do go out, and ur children dont go and cause a riot >.<

to be honest, I get annoyed when people go out to eat at certain places with kids.

Key word, certain places:
If I'm eating at a resturant marketed as casual dining: applebees, friday's, texas roadhouse,  i do not care that there are children.  I am not expecting a quiet meal in that settings.  (or breakfast places)

but if you bring kids to a nice meal that someone would bring someone out to on a date, c'moon. 

@attercop@xanga - I agree with that - we were at a casual dining place and the people staring at us had kids with them, too!  Anyway, I totally don't take my kids to "nice" places - that would be asking for tons of trouble!  :)