Sunday, 02 November 2008
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Children Can Live in Really Outrageous Conditions and Not Give a Darn
by Mama Pig 
For the past two days I have done the absolute bare minimum of cleaning. My thoughts were if they realized that the "clean clothes fairy" didn't just appear and put their nice clean clothes in their room, perhaps they would figure out where the laundry room was located. I was wrong. I also thought that if they ran out of clean plates they might figure out how to load and unload the dishwasher without having to be reminded. Wrong yet again.
Next, I thought if the toys didn't magically make their way back into the toy box that just maybe someone would get tired of kicking things on the way to the kitchen. I could not have been more wrong. Children can live in really outrageous conditions and not give a darn.
So, I called my strike off temporarily last night. I explained to all of the kids that we would now be using a chore chart that would need to be checked off daily before television and computer privileges would be granted.
I kept it fairly simple and just put the week we were dealing with at the top. Under that went each child's name in order of age along with a brief description of the chore they would be responsible for that week. I made sure that I detailed just enough of the job so that there were no misconceptions of what was expected. I have heard too many times, "you didn't say cleaning the bathroom meant getting the wet towels out". I wanted it very clear what was included in the job.
My plan is to rotate the jobs each week so that no one person has the "easy" job. I also included a category for all the children as a whole. I expect each of them to keep their rooms neat, their clothes put neatly away, and dirty clothes to be taken to the laundry room. Again, if I don't specifically spell that out, I will hear at least one comment that they were unaware that was expected. This is not my first day at this rodeo.
Now, I am off to finish the laundry. I will let you know how things are working out. I am open to any suggestions if you have something that works well in your family and want to pass it along.
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Comments (13)
Growing up me and my older sister had chores...but ours didnt rotate...I think that rotating the chores is a brillant idea...cuz I always felt that my sister had the easier chores...
Charming little slobs, aren't they?
I always patiently explain to my daughter that the most important thing is that everyone feels loved in this house, not that the house be perfectly clean. This eases us into the repeat conversation about how if everyone does a little bit to help every day then it helps everyone feel happier.
I think that without intrinsic motivation the whole extrinsic chore chart and allowance check list are a bit pointless-- and I've tried those before, for a solid year.
We must do things for our own reasons, and there must be freedom to fail-- that's part of teaching them to fish (rather than giving them fish), right?
Well, your charts of assignments is a good thing. However, are there consequences if they didn't obey? at the same time, are there any rewards for obeying?
I don't know how my parents did it, but growing up, as far back as I can remember we had to make our beds and straighten up our rooms everyday because that's just how we were raised. It didn't seem like there were consequences, we just did it. We also had to clear the dinner table and wash dishes before we went outside to play after dinner. Even now, I'm 29 years old, we clean up the kitchen before we go out for a walk. I make the bed first thing in the morning... I plan on continuing that routine with my daughter so she knows it's expected and that a clean house is a priority. To me, it's not about gaining privileges, it's about living in an orderly, sanitary home.
@mashimaroboi@xanga - They have to earn the right to televison and computer so in some ways the punishment and reward are tied in together.
And I just have to say, that is NOT a picture of my home. It gave me a rash just looking at that mess.
I used chore charts with my kids and it worked. They like the colorful charts and the stickers they got if they did their chore. Too bad those charts don't work when they're 17 and 18! Now I take away car priveleges... the only thing that works!
@TH1SL1F3@xanga - LOL, my two older ones respond quite well to the "give me the cell phone" threat. Gotta love it.
"Again, if I don't specifically spell that out, I will hear at least one comment that they were unaware that was expected. This is not my first day at this rodeo."
Hahahaha. Tim has prepared me well for motherhood. I learned a long time ago that if I want more than the absolute bare minimum surface cleaning from him? I need to spell it out when I ask it of him.
On a related note: men can live in some outrageous conditions, too. There's a story about the day that someone demo'ing Kirby vacuums came to the door of the house Tim and two other single men shared and managed to burn through all of their alloted white cleaning pad/filter thingies in a 1' x 1' area of floor...and still didn't really manage to clean a spot.
(I didn't know him then and he'd probably still be single if we had meet during that particular period in his life.)
We use the chore charts at our house, and they work pretty well. As far as getting them to do their jobs well, when one of the kids shows me that they have "mastered" a chore by doing it well and thoroughly, and keeping it done without having to be reminded anymore, they get to graduate from it. At that point, it's their job to teach it to the next younger child. We make a big deal out of graduating from a chore, with lots of cheering and dancing around - they all get a big kick out of that.
We talk periodically about how the goal is for each of them to be able to care for themselves and their own families and homes when they are grown, as well as how important each one of them is to the family, particularly when they help. Knowing that the rest of the family depends on them (even for something as small as the 4-yr-old's job of picking up the living room floor) really gives them a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.
@Meahsmom@xanga - What a great idea. I had never thought of having them graduate from a task. I am going to have to work that into our program. Thanks for the tip.
My brother and I rotated some things and others didn't. Dishes was what rotated... except if you refused to do them then you had to do them for a week. I hated that.... I loved it when my brother messed up though :D
I think it is important to have a routine schedule (which is why I believe you're chart is wonderful). Though, I would recommend that you do something to instill the sense of cleansiness. Only because, in the future, no one will make graphs for them.
Maybe you could get the older kids to assign jobs every week? Then with you're approval that chart will be put into place. So that they get used to planning things out, as well as executing the actions.
Of course there are tons of ways to teach them these skills, and I would simply recommend finding a way that works best with how your family functions.
Haha, I love how moms think like that. Or, my mom did, anyways.
I clearly remember being around the age of three or so, and my mom wanted me to clean up duplo blocks so she could "walk through the room."
All I did was push them to the sides, making neat little pathways to my bed, closet, and out the door. It was awesome, but she didn't like it.
I'm 20 now, and I am very organized and clean...but that just came from years of my mom talking (read: yelling) at my brother and I to pick up after ourselves.