Friday, 31 October 2008

  • No One is Listening to Me, So I'm Going On Strike!

    Mama Pig by Mama Pig

    Going On Strike!!

    So, after another lovely conversation about how the children are not helping out around the house, I decided to go on strike. My reasoning was simple; if they didn't have me doing everything for them, they would then be forced to take care of the things that were their responsibility. Yeah right.

    Now, when I say that the children need to help around the house, I do not mean I expect them to clean my home. Each child, with the exception of little E, has one specific chore that they are responsible for doing.

    W has to sweep the kitchen each day and mop it once a week. J1 is in charge of the trash. He is responsible for emptying all the cans and seeing that it gets taken out on garbage day. J2 is in charge of the yard. He is to clean up after the dog daily and make sure that there are no toys left out on the day the gardener comes. E is to wipe down the bathroom counters each day and make sure any wet towels get taken to the laundry room. C, being only 3, has the least amount of work. He is responsible for making sure his toys make it to the toybox at the end of the day and he also has to put his clothes away in his drawers.

    The rest of the chores fall to me. I do the laundry each day, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, clean my bathroom, scrub toilets and showers, general pick up of the living room, etc. I am the mom, that is my job, but I see nothing wrong with asking the older children to take on some of the responsibilities.

    For the past few weeks, nobody has taken me seriously when it comes to the chores. I have repeatedly asked Hubby to step in and talk with them, but we all know how that goes. So, last night I decided I would just go on strike for a few days and let them see how much I really do and how difficult it is to maintain a home with eight people.

    Did you have to do chores when you were young? How do you get your children to help out with the household chores?

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Comments (44)

  • ANVRSADDAY@xanga

    When I was 4 years old, 71 years ago, my mom went on strike and refused to cook. This would have been 1937. My dad and 12 older brother was very upset. Mom got mad because dad just went on making important decisions without consulting her. In those days, wives often did not have proper respect. At the time, I agreed with dad, but now I know she had a very valid point.

    I have heard of moms in the news that went on strike.

    I wish you well.

    Blessing

    frank
  • angi1972@xanga

    WOW you give them light weight chores... Mine  unloads the dish washer and the other does a load of wash a day... then they are both resonsible for sweeping a room nightly... then they do a nightly fifteen minute clean up in their rooms... I find that I have to pick at them constantly to get it all done... I always said I wouldn't nag... now I have decieded that its a part of motherhood.
  • tnalittlebitt@xanga

    When I went on strike, I REALLY went on strike. I quit doing everything ~ cooking, cleaning, laundry ~ EVERYTHING! It got their attention, they started helping out more, everything was good ~ for a while, then it eventually returned to the way it was before the strike.


    I did that twice over the course of a couple of years. Finally, when my kids were a bit more grown up and more capable of taking care of themselves, I really DID go on strike. It wasn't planned, just happened.


    I quit cooking. I mean really quit cooking. Totally. There was still food to eat, food to prepare, food available. But no food prepared by me. For years. Seriously. I was working two jobs, six to seven days a week, so I didn't have much time to begin with and even less motivation. Working in a pizza place, I did often bring home pizzas, on which we depended a lot, but I did not cook. At all.


    Financial reasons finally forced me to start cooking again. That and a boyfriend that loves to cook. He really got me cooking again, because we cook well together, complimenting each other in the kitchen. I enjoyed it again. When I could no longer afford eating out all the time, I had to start cooking again. But now, the kids help out. We take turns preparing meals, washing the dishes, etc. and it all works just fine now.


    Guess they're so glad I started cooking again, they'll do what they have ~ and need ~ to do to keep me cooking!


  • ginlee@xanga

    I agree that we as Mom's do have to carry the majority of the load of cleaning and taking care of the house, but aren't we to be teaching our children to clean as well, so that when they have their own place they know how to do dishes or scrub a toilet out? 


    My 8 year old is responsible for cleaning the toilets.  My 6 and 4 year olds empty the dishwasher, I put up the out of reach things (sometimes the oldest helps with those) and then my 6 year old loads up the dishwasher and my 4 year old will rinse off the dishes.  They all help with the trash and laundry.  They help get the things out of the dryer and everyone folds and puts up their clothes.  My 3 year old washes down the table with a rag.  She loves dusting too!  My boys have asked recently if they can use the vacuum!  I nearly fell over.   


    I can't keep up with all of them and the mess they make.  I do a lot of the big work and I supervise all the chores that they do, to make sure they are being safe and doing it correctly.  I don't want them to get married one day and their wives be completely disgusted because they are slobs and can't help keep their home clean. 


    Maybe you can set up a reward system for awhile to help motivate them.  We don't do that, because I can't keep it straight.  I'm just not good at that kind of thing.  However, when I notice that they have had an excellent week with their attitudes regarding the chores and how well they do the chores, I will take them to get some ice cream or get them a small toy like a hot wheels and let them know how much I appreciate their attitudes and help around the house.  Not only does it help me, but it helps their self esteem.  They are learning to take pride in their work and to help others.  Sometimes they will offer to help the others with their work. 


    I hope the strike works for you.  It is tough when you don't have the help you need.  Sorry for writing so much! 

  • sugartomyhoney@xanga

    I have used a variety of methods to try to get the kids to do chores.  They all worked for a while.  I too have gone on strike.  And personally, I don't blame you and I hope it works!
  • miss_thiq@xanga

    I definitely had chores when I was young...there was no playtime if they werent done
  • Amyld@xanga

    I was always made to wash dishes as a kid, and it's still something I *hate* doing.  My kids are only responsible for keeping their rooms in order (or picking up toys if they bring them into the living room).

  • RoAngie467

    I had chores when I was young. My dad drew up a "chore chart" for myself and my siblings. Everyone had different chores to do depending on the day of the week. We didn't get paid for them; we were always expected to help out around the house. If we didn't do our chores, we lost privileges, like no watching TV or playing video games. I think it worked out really well for us.

    I plan to do something similar with my own children. Except any extra chores done will be rewarded with $!

    Best of luck with your strike.
  • john@xanga

    wow good for you... genius!
  • filtered_sunlight@xanga

    I remember reading a story once about a house that was literally condemned because a husband and wife got into an argument over who would clear the table...so nobody did. Apparently, nobody did anything for several months until it got really scary and then people with haz-mat suits and shovels dealt with it. 

    But I see nothing wrong with taking a few days off to so that they see how much you really do for them. I've never intentionally gone on strike, but I have gotten busy or sick and fallen behind on certain things (laundry, dishes, sweeping). Tim's usually pretty good about picking up the extra slack after a few days...when he actually notices...i.e. he runs out of underwear or needs a spoon for his coffee...he's completely oblivious to dishes stacked in the sink or a mountain of laundry in the corner of the bedroom until that point. It's truly incredible to me sometimes.

    As she grows older, Megan will be expected to clean up after herself and help with some household chores, but on the later? I think it might help to "change it up" on occasion. Like, if she doesn't feel like doing X-chore that is normally her responsibility, okay, fine, I'll do that, but you need to pick up one of my normal chores. We all get bored/burnt-out at some point.
  • susuki_yi@xanga

    why    no one is listen   to you
  • mashimaroboi@xanga

    There has been two ways where i've been helping around the house.

    My dad would usually do all the heavy artillery type of work: mowing the lawn, shoveling, washing the cars, fixing the cars, fixing things. The own personal handy man.

    My mom is the cook and cleaner (she loves doing that and never lets us do our own laundry even though i'm 23............good thing i'm not at home right now).

    Anyway, i think it starts with something small. Keeping their room tidy or doing their own bed (of which i do neither...but i hear other friends doing that when they were younger).

    Incentives like allowance help. Like a reward for helping out around the house.

    However, as i got older, helping out around the house was never encouraged as "work." By taking away the allowance in that way, it's more like, doing your part around the house. So nowadays when i am home, i will just do my part by shoveling and mowing the lawn so my dad doesn't have to be using too much energy. Or maybe i'll do the dishes so my mom can relax after dinner.

    These are just my experiences as i was growing up, maybe it will help?
  • Meahsmom@xanga

    All of my 5 older kids have chores to do, and if they don't do them then they don't get play time or tv time.  About three years ago, they all slacked off on me and I finally reached the end of my rope.  I told them that if they didn't want me to be the mommy and tell them what to do anymore that I wouldn't try to tell them what to do anymore, but they shouldn't expect me to be doing "mommy" things for them.  When they had a disagreement and came to me about it, I just said "You don't want to listen to me, remember?  You'll have to figure it out on your own."


    I didn't stop cooking supper, because they were still pretty young then - and I didn't want to take it out on their poor dad.  He works hard and deserves to come home to a hot supper.  But, I didn't do anything else, including fix breakfast or lunch.  It took the boys one day of living on their own "cooking" (sandwiches and cereal) and they caved!  The girls were able to hold out for about two days.  The second day, as I watched my middle girl pick olives, onions, mushrooms and peppers off a piece of pizza that her big sister had heated in the microwave until it was rubber, I knew I almost had her.   Sure enough, by mid-afternoon she was apologizing and asking if she could please have something else to eat before supper.


    They each ended up coming to me and saying that they were sorry for not listening to me and they would try to do better.  Of course, as soon as that happened I made sure that I took really good care of them to emphasize the difference between having me take care of them and how miserable it was to have to do everything for themselves.


    In the following weeks, when they started to backslide I would remind them of how unhappy they were when they didn't listen and obey.  It took a few follow-up talks, but the message seemed to stick.  I think the key to having a "mom strike" be successful is to keep talking about it afterward so that it stays fresh in their minds until they have formed better habits.


    Good luck, I feel your pain!
  • cuzimlexxi@xanga

    while i was living with my dad, sister, bro-in-law and i would take turns washing dishes. honestly, i like washing dishes. i don't exactly know why. once my sister and her family moved out, my dad just started running the dishwasher twice a week.

    what chore i hated most was folding laundry every sunday. sad to say, i didn't carry it on. my laundry is still left in the clean bin.

  • SeiGe_Jet@xanga

    I didn't have any "chores" when I was younger. I washed dishes in the house, swept, vacuum'd, etc. but I consider them apart of living under my parents roof and only something on the side I had to do if I had nothing better to do. My parents had always stressed that my job was to be an overachieving student - I never had to pitch in if I didn't want to, but if I didn't get A's across the board... they'd beat me lol


    My parents were adamant that our priorities were straight A's... and never wanted chores or any other external influence to be used as an excuse.
  • xiaosnowtenshi@xanga

    I'm not sure how effective striking is. Tried it with my 21+ roommates and it didn't work. 

    Growing up I didn't get a whole lot of chores, mainly just washing the dishes and doing my laundry. But my mom made sure I had all the necessary skills before college.
  • HollandHappy@xanga

    I remember we always had to do the dishes after dinner - this was before we had a dishwasher - or load and unload the dishwasher. My mom never made me do a lot of chores, and I am still having trouble keeping my own home clean and tidy! I wish she had taught me routines for keeping my home clean...


    I'm learning to do things every day now. My son is 18 months old, and I try to do a lot around the house while he's napping, but he also "helps" unload the dishwasher, put away laundry, that sort of thing. Even if it takes me twice as long doing it together, I think it's important to teach him that these things are a part of life, and many hands make lighter work. I hope that he will one day be organized and fairly neat, so he won't drown in his own clutter - like I once almost did. We have daily routines for laundry, dishes, etc now. He likes to clean the table after dinner, too I think I'll teach him to dust soon!


    Ah, that's him waking up now... gotta run!

  • Fairywife@xanga

    @RoAngie467 - My dad tried to start doing that when mea and my sister were older and said he'd pay us a dollar a week. WELL we weren't stupid. lol. We were like "UM A DOLLAR?" Haha. Needless to say, that plan didn't work. We just went back to doing the normal thing - cleaning off the table after dinner and taking care of the dog.
  • HisLadyofVirtue@xanga

    wow, we had WAY more responsibilities that that as a kid.  But we had a BIG family and it took all of us working together to keep an efficiently run home.  And we didn't DARE think twice about obeying.  We weren't spanked or threatened, but it just never occured to us NOT to do our chores.  We each had a chore growing up, and each day the chores rotated,  The younder kids would help the older kids with their chores and it was a very successful CLEAN house.  Some days were heavy chores, some were light...Kitchen (this included loading, unloading the dishwasher, counters, stove, sweep and mop floor.  Dinning room (clearing table, washing table, sweep mop floor). Vacuuming and dust mopping, and you have to keep in mind that this was a 4,000 sq ft home. Feed the pets (this was alos the same day we brought out our laundry to be washed, and that included the bedding, it was clean by the time we got home from school and then we put it away).  Bathroom, this included all 5 bathrooms, (included tubs, toilets, sweep and mop floor, and counters). Dusting, again, it was a big house. And lastly Garbage.  And then when we were in trouble we had additional chores on top of that, and in a large family, there was always someone in trouble!!!!!


    I'm not complaining, it gave us all a hard work ethic.  Sometimes I think kids these days get off too easy.


    And those were just regular duties.  If we wanted something like summer camp, or a cool new gadget, or to go out friday night, we earned that sorta stuff with extra chores, and responsibilities.


    Thats the way things SHOULD be if you ask me!!!
  • mamapig

    @ReneeBrowning@xanga - I could not agree more. What I try and explain to all of them is that there are six of them and only one of me. We have eight children total, but only six live with us full time.


    Each chore they are assigned takes less than 15 minutes. I know because I went through and did them all. What they don't understand is that their little 15 minute jobs add up to extra HOURS for me if I am doing them all alone.


    I swear I am printing out some of these comments so that they can see they have it much easier than they think.


    Thanks for sharing!!
  • HisLadyofVirtue@xanga

    @mamapig - I'm glad to share.  I just hope my kids grow up with the same work ethic that I did.


    My mom didn't get upset if we didn't pick up our toys, she just took them away.  If we didn't want to put our clothes away, she took them away and we didn't have them to wear when we wanted to.  Then we had to earn them back.  It seemed to work well for us.  And if we didn't do something she asked, she didn't get upset, but the next time we asked for something or for her to do something she would get down on our level, and look us in the eyes, and say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but I can't do that for you" and when we asked why, she would say something like "Well, you couldn't find it in your time to do something for me when I asked, so I'm sorry, but I don't have the time for you now!"  She never with held our basic needs from us, but we leanred at a young age how things were done, and it just became the norm. 


    I hope I'm half the mom she was to us!!!


    Side note here, but we also learned to lever say "I'm boared" cuz she would inevitably find something for us to do LOL!!!
  • TheWarriorsOwn@xanga

    Well, I don't know how that goes in a more "normal" house.
    12 years ago my mother was diagnosed with M.S., I was four then, two years later we moved back to America (we had been living in Germany with my grandparents). I was six then, but because my mother's strength and health were lessening every day, my brother and I had to take on a boat load of responsibility. (including cooking. Peter and I still cook every night, if my dad isn't up to it)

    Every night one of us cleaned the table and the other washed the dishes by hand. We always took turns. Also who ever had the table cleaning chore had to wipe down the counter, the stove, and sweep the kitchen.
    On top of that, Peter learned how to wash the laundry, and a couple years later, I learned too. Peter did most the vacuuming, I did the pick up, dusting, scrubbing bathrooms/toilets, and cleaning mirrors.

    When I was eight or nine, the refrigerator became my responsibility. I had to write anything we didn't have that we needed down on the shopping list, and when I started doing all the shopping when I was ten. (My dad was in the army and was deployed state-side around that time).

    About the same time ironing clothes became my responsibility as well.
    Taking out the trash and picking up toys was just normal for us.

    -S.
  • RoAngie467

    @Fairywife@xanga - Sometimes, my dad would pay us to do dishes. "You get a nickel for each clean plate." 5 cents...not that much!
  • noiseless_sound@xanga

    Quick question.....Why do you expect your boys to do chores, when you don't expect your husband to help out as well?


    Your husband may help out....but you didn't mention a SINGLE thing that he does. It is not your job to do all of it. Everyone in the home should help out to some degree...beyond having a job and helping to pay the bills.


  • nicolevw@xanga

    LOL - that's great!  I went on a cooking strike a little while ago 'cause the kids were complaining aboutwhat I cooked.    They smartened up pretty quick! 


    I think I will have to re-think what my kids do for chores though - some of you have kids doing things that I wouldn't have ever thought of making mine do!   An 8 year old cleaning toilets?  YIKES ....my12 year old daughter better be taught soon! Wanna come over? 

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