by
Nurse Jenna 
In the past teen pregnancy was rarely celebrated and until recent phenomena such as pregnant pop icon Jamie Lynn Spears, the hit movie Juno, or political daughter Bristol Palin have we become, if nothing else, less “shocked” by the prevalence of teen pregnancies. This has bothered some people who have felt anywhere from disturbed to enraged that we have become so accepting and even supportive of teen mothers. The popular viewpoint has been that our acceptance is encouraging irresponsible teen sex.
The extension of this logic would suggest that if we had a culture that did not promote pregnant teens as celebrities, but rather ostracized them and made it shameful, this would in turn discourage the “irresponsible promiscuity” that leads to teen pregnancy. The attention and discussion mainstream teen pregnancy has generated has been perceived as a threat to the work of those promoting abstinence, or attempting to contain the discussion of sex within the family, where it is often believed children should be receiving their information, not from magazines, the news, or the public schools.
Yesterday I visited the maternity department of the hospital here in Ecuador and had an eye-opening experience.
After passing through the labor area where 50 beds were lined up in rows with no curtains or partitions in between, I noticed there was a sign that said “Sala de Adolescentes.” This labor area was devoted entirely for pregnant teens. I didn’t initially understand why they were separated from the rest of the women. The explanation was interesting though unsettling. Pregnant teenage girls in Ecuador are not over-glamorized---they are sequestered. They are an embarrassment to their families and they are kept separated so that other people do not find out they just had baby.
Hmmm, I wondered, “What did they do the previous 9 months?” Though it is illegal to force a young Ecuadorian girl out of school because she is pregnant, she is often “highly encouraged” to leave by the school for fear that her presence will somehow cause other girls to become pregnant--like it might be contagious. If not pressured by the school, the family is often so ashamed, they themselves keep the teenager home until she secretly gives birth.
This idea that hiding a pregnancy in the family, a lack of sex education in the schools, and creating a sense of shame around teen sex and pregnancy would help promote abstinence and lower pregnancy rates was the not so long ago the cultural norm in the United States. It was also during this time that teen pregnancy rates were at their highest--during the 1950s. It was shortly thereafter when discussion was opened and sex education initiated that there has since been a steady decline in U.S. teen pregnancy rates.
True to a similar mentality of silence and shame surrounding teen sexuality, Ecuador has seen a 41% increase in teen pregnancy in the past decade as they have tried to encourage family as the principle providers of sex education and have made teen pregnancy a barrier to continuing education, or maintaining self-esteem.
I believe that the preaching along this the road of morality, abstinence and shame has been proven to be ineffective in addressing the social, financial and emotional problems of teen pregnancies. Whereas honest assessment, education, and access to resources has shown a consistent decline in the problem, as the U.S has shown over the past 60 years.
Despite this, why do so many people insist on taking a road that has been traveled and does not lead us to where we need to be? Why the insistence on failed social and educational policies regarding unplanned teen pregnancies?
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Comments (90)
I think most cultures/people fear that if we celebrate them as we "did" with Jamie Lynn, more girls will see it as womanly and wonderful and, in turn, try to get pregnant. Is this true? Yes...but trying to make them feel shameful does nothing to help, either.
The reason I put quotations around did for Jamie Lynn is because sooooo many people had negative things to say about her and her mother...and I'm sure they still do. Let me make this clear...a teenager getting pregnant is 99.5% of the time not in direct result of being parented incorrectly or whatever. Our bodies were made so we would become sexually mature at a young age, as life expectancy was not as long as it is nowadays. Usually, the result of having a teen pregnancy has to do with the fact that there's someone there and interested right when they're trying to deal with all these new feelings...
I dunno if any of that made sense. My head's all kinda jumbled today.
I don't think a pregnant teenager should be ostracized, but neither do I think it should be accepted as "a part of life." Personally I think if more parents would take responsibility and teach their teens about sex, abstinance, and safe sex and not leave it up to the schools, everyone would be much better off. Schools can teach sex ed all day but until a teen knows what it's like to contract an STD or get pregnant, it just doesn't sink in. A parent can connect with their teen like no teacher can, and hopefully they can explain all the consequences of promiscuous behavior...the physical, mental, and emotional dangers.
I think the main reason society tries to hide or act like teen pregnancy doesn't exist is that "if that had happened to me" or "my parents didnt raise me like that".
When in all actuality, some of our parents/grandparents did have children at a young age. What I don't understand is, at one point in history, it was ok for a young lady to bear a child because that's what she was SUPPOSED to do, in addition to cleaning and taking care of the home while her husband brought in the money.
I think we should just support these girls and let them know that there is help out there, and we need to get over the fact that we don't want to teach sex education to a five year old, because it needs to happen.
What a great post!!! I completely agree with everything you wrote. I guess it makes sense, but I didn't even realize that other countries have such a problem and plan on essentially banning the girls from existence until after the baby is born. I was shocked, honestly, to read how many teenage preganancies there were in such a place like Ecuador... again, guess it makes sense!!
Talking and being open about it in and out of school is always the best option!! It's still going to happen, sure, but at least we're educated! PS- I also agree with PoetMcChick
I had a friend who's family was catholic, and when she got pregnant they sent her to 'visit' her cousin. Her mother walked around the next 7-8 months with a fake pregnant belly, and when her daughter had the kid, she adopted it, and so almost no one knows it is actually her daughters baby.
I don't understand why people think that hiding teen pregnancy is going to help anything. I'm not saying we should praise them, just be accepting.
Similarly, I don't see why they would teach abstinence-only sex ed in schools. That doesn't keep teens from getting pregnant and I think it puts them more at risk from lack of information.
I personally think schools should have CLASSES or "clubs" for teen girls who are thinking about getting pregnant or are pregnant.. and they should be TAUGHT by a teen parent. I've always thought about doing that.. just go in and "help" them. Help them understand it's NOT easy and it IS expensive.. if they ARE pregnant.. help them through the pregnancy, especially if they are keeping the baby, and what to expect afterward..
I was 16 yrs old and learned the hard way. Even though I "planned" mine.. I got through it thanks to my mom (can't imagine if I didn't have her and some girls get the boot), but it would have been easier having friends too.. teenage girls are so cruel. And guys but they don't count since they don't mature until they're about 25 anyways
I think the difference between beliefs in the abstinence only camp and the "start education at age 5 in the schools" camp is religious.
If you believe, like I do, that sex is supposed to be reserved for marriage only, and that conceiving children is supposed to be within a marriage, then teaching abstinence only will work. Of course, there needs to be that fundamental understanding of where sex belongs, and why it's important.
If you believe, that just because we're sexual creatures, and we're going to give in to those urges no matter what, then of course you'll believe in safe sex ed for all kids.
I've said this before -in the Christian circles I walk, where abstinence only is taught because of the belief of staying pure until marriage, the teen pregnancy rate is less than 10%. Most of the "teen" pregnancies that do occur are older teens - out of high school and they end up marrying. The "true love waits" campaign headed up by Focus on the Family WORKS - but only if you believe that sex should wait until marriage. If you don't believe that, then of course this view doesn't work.
As a Christian woman, my foundation begins and stands on the Lord. Children are a gift of God, and parents are given a clear role - to be parents! Parents should teach their children what God says about sex outside of marriage...long before they come home pregnant! It amazes me how many parents are shocked at finding out their teens are pregnant or even having sex at all. They act like they never see it coming...and maybe not - depending on where they were and what they were doing when their teenager was out doing things he/she shouldn't!
Teen pregnancy should not be glorified or accepted as ok. We should not be plastering them all over magazine covers and showering them with pats on the back. (Granted that's not the only thing I am sick of seeing in my grocery line.) They should be ashamed but they should be ashamed because they've chosen to do wrong after they've been taught differently. If parents don't teach their children, the world certainly will...and what a danger that is!
If you teach your child at home what is appropriate and acceptable to God, they are probably not going to see a cover of a magazine and think "Oh my goodness. Mom and Dad have been lying to me all these years - getting pregnant is really a great thing to do!"
If parents would do their job and stop pointing fingers at others for not doing it for them, I think we'd see a lot of changes in our children...to include a decrease in teen pregnancy.
We will all answer to God someday, including parents in how they've raised their children!
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6
So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. - Romans 14:12
I would never adocate for abstinence only programs. My school district had an abstinence only program and in my four years of high school, I knew of at least 30 girls who has become pregnant. After a while the girls just became blind to see how negatively impacted the lives of teenage moms were. It's crazy.
I think teens need more acess to contraception and it should be free or at a reduced cost.
@hugxlaughxsmilexlove@xanga - Why should we have a club promoting teen pregnancy? I think girls who want kids in high school are stupid, you have so much time to pop out kids, why raise the chances your life will be ruined?
I think it would be better for teens to have a speaker come in and talk about how messed up their lives will be if they decide to have kids and how hard it will be.
@nicolevw@xanga - What would you advocate teaching for those who don't believe sex should be saved for marriage?
Some teens don't want to get married, can't legally get married in every state, or don't see themselves getting married.
As a lesbian, I can't legally marry my girlfriend in all the states of the U.S. so the whole "wait until marriage" doesn't really apply. I don't see anything wrong with having a small number of sexual partners or waiting until you find someone who proposes engagement...and wait until marriage or the civil union.
My school district taught the whole "wait until you're married" and we still had at least 30 girls end up pregnant. Lots of kids still had sex but it didn't result in pregnancy.
I think more programs should include abstinence along with teaching kids about condoms, birth control, IUD, abortions, family planning, the negative impact a pregnancy will have on their life, what it takes to raise a child, etc.
@FemmeMrbd08@xanga - Um, didn't say I wanted to PROMOTE teen pregnancy... but they need help, just like anyone else. When you find out you're pregnant you get lost and confused and have NOBODY to turn to. Instead of making people think it's okay to kill their fetus, fucking help them before they make the wrong choice. Maybe it's wrong to get knocked up, it's even more wrong to kill an innocent child.
And as a teen parent MYSELF, I find your comment very offensive. It may not be the choice for everyone but I would do anything for ALL of my three kids and I'm only twenty years old.
Messed up lives? I think you have the wrong thoughts on this. Maybe you should talk to a successful teen parent before judging them all. My husband owns his own businees, I own my own businees. We own a house and cars. We don't use food stamps or any state assistance. Having kids young doesn't mess up your life. You miss out on a few things but you gain things as well.
Again, having babies as a teenager is something I do NOT promote.. because it IS hard.. but it is NOT something everyone needs to look down on. Some girls just need help. A lot of them ARE stupid because they get knocked up and have abortions or expect their parents to take care of their kids.. not all of us are like that.
A little respect for those with a head on their shoulders.
@nicolevw@xanga - Teaching abstinence only will never work.
All it does is make for an ill informed population.
I don't think that it's teen pregnancy is cool that is causing the problem. It's curiosity, lack of planning, etc., those are the things that cause teen pregnancy. I think parents stick their heads in the sand about teens having sex. There's the school of parents who just say don't do it and leave it at that. They don't offer anything to their kids about why they shouldn't do it.
No parent really wants to be the one that is encouraging their kids to have sex but they aren't talking about what they should be doing if they are having sex. I guess for parents there isn't really this way of talking about contraception without it seeming like they're encouraging sex.
I think really it's that kids aren't informed because no one's talking about it. No one talks about the responsibility that comes with sex, because no one wants to jump on the bandwagon to say that teen sex is okay.
First I'd love to say I can't wait until I have to answer to God...pffft.
In my opinion if you want to stop teen pregnancies you should put a teen mother up there in a class with her children and let them girls see what its really about. Sure babies are cute..when you can hand them back. Every mother has those times where all you want to do it sleep or disappear while your kids are screaming "momma momma momma." I think if you let some of these fast ass little girls see what being a mom is really about they'll keep their pants on for a little while longer.
I am a young mom, I'm 21 with 2 children(a 5 yr old step son and 20 m old little girl), my parents NEVER talked about sex it was taboo. I think as a parent you need to talk to your children about what sex really is, show them the consequences. Show them what STD's look like, show them a young mother having a child without drugs...it's not pretty. Then tell them that the easiest way to avoid that is to not have sex....but I also believe in being practical too. Take your daughter to the health department and get her on birth control...its not giving her a green light that says go, its not being niave.
I would like to say that just b/c you don't see pregnant teenagers in your congregation doesn't mean they arent there. It still happens, I don't care how much you shove that they are going to hell in a hand basket into their heads. Some kids are going to go after the "forbidden fruit" in one way or another, they may not have sex but I'd be willing to bet your little "God fearers" are still taking part in some sort of sexual act or another.
i love this post btw, awesome!
This is a good post! I like the abstinance only campaign to a point, and then it's time to teach an alternative. I grew up in a very strong Christian family. Yet, my entire life my mom and/or dad never said anything to me about sex, ever! It was just implied and supposably understood. Well, that didn't stop me from losing my virginity at 15. My parents didn't have the courage to talk to me about sex so I made my own choices, and yes, one day I'll have to answer for them. I never got pregnant or anything, but my long-term boyfriend and I made some risky decisions that could have impacted our lives forever. Thankfully, nothing happened.
Fast forward to today, I am a Christian and a mother. My son's still little, but we, DH and I, plan on talking to our child(ren) about sex and the like around 12. Or earlier, if need be. We will tell them that it's important to wait until marriage and explain to them why, but if my daughter ever comes to me wanting to be put on birth control we'll have a long discussion about it. And yes, I'll consider it. I'd rather protect my children from becoming parents before they're really ready, or getting a STD than not. And given what I've personally experienced, my Christian school's abstinance only campaign did NOT work for about 70% of the students there.
@hugxlaughxsmilexlove@xanga - I completely agree with everything you say.
@nicolevw@xanga - I agree. The problem is the the whole foundation is wrong. So many people are intent on walking away from God's best. Of course we are going to have problems!
I have to agree with hugxlaughxsmilexlove@xanga, I mean Im no parent... but I know several girls who are and who have become pregnant and had abortions... I dont agree with abortions at all, it is killing an innocent child and I believe it should be reated as murder. You cant put teen parents in the same gatagory, not all of them are stupid, some like hugxlaughxsmilexlove@xanga has heads on their shoulders and knows what to do in order to survive and yes its hard, and you do miss out on somethings but still, its not fair to those who are making it, who are surviving and who aret aking care of thier own children, to call them stupid for their choices... if a girl doesnt want to get pregnant theres only one sure way to prevent that... not having sex at all! Condoms helps, birth control helps.. but they arent 100% sure to prevent pregnancy... only not having sex is 100% sure to prevent unplanned pregnancy... and those girls who do have kids at a young age, I pray them well and all the luck in the world, and I pray that they have a place to go to for help, and understanding, so I agree that schools should have a club for girls (or really any one who wants to have sex) to teach about pregnancy and how tough it is, and give the people some information on it all, not encourage it but to help and understand, like hugxlaughxsmilexlove@xanga some girls dont have that support that they need and it is easier to learn from another teen who has gone through it already who knows what to expect and who understands and can give advice and teach them what they need to know.
I don't think shaming teen pregnancies is right or effective. I do believe in sex education at home if the parents are actually going to talk to their kids about it and not just avoid it until they are comfortable with talking about it. I have some friends who are afraid to talk to their kids about sex. My son is 10 and I have started talking to him about sex because I want him to be educated. If I am not talking to him he will find out elsewhere and the information may not be accurate. While I don't think that abstinence only is a bad thing I think it should be part of a comprehensive program. The truth is you can still do all this and some kids are going to get pregnant but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do anything at all.
@hugxlaughxsmilexlove@xanga -
Guys maturing at age 25 - yeah right, not on this planet!! lol
Great comment by the way!!
Just like banning gay marriage does not prevent homosexuality..
People just need to get over the fact that things will never always go "their way" and accept others.
That's all I have to say.
IDK, but it makes me pretty sad. Which is why I'm completely for comprehensive sex education for teenagers in school.
What I don't get is how the media/entertainment industry can promote the "sexy" image of celebrities, talk of condoms and birth control [which have been known to fail, though it is rare with birth control], and yet point their finger and scream "WHORE!!!" at the first girl who gets pregnant, such as with Jamie Lynn and Bristol Palin.
Some people go way overboard with this issue. Not everyone believes in sex until marriage. I will be 23-years-old next month and have an almost two-year-old. I enjoy being a young mom, I have the time & energy to run after my lil' booger! My husband is amazing in the fact that he makes enough to allow me to be a stay-at-home mom.
I didn't have sex until I was 19 and was engaged. I know some people would say that I waited until marriage, but I never saw myself as waiting for that guy or whatever, but in my case it did happen to be "the one." The weekend after we got married, I got pregnant. We didn't try to get pregnant, but didn't prevent it either. It was very sudden though, but I will never regret it. My husband started having sex at the age of 14. He had sex with girlfriends and had sex with girls just to get some sex. He has told me all about his past experiences. He has gotten three girls pregnant (other than me). One had an abortion and the other two miscarried. Now there is no telling if he has gotten other girls pregnant, since he has had sex with girls on the whim (like at a club or whatever) and has since to see them. I'm not promoting this kind of behavior, but our son will know how both, me and my husband, were when we were younger. My husband was lucky not to contract anything & lucky not to have gotten other girls pregnant and they continued on with the pregnancy. He said he probably would have stayed with them, and I would have never met the man I am married to today!
It is definitely something that needs to be taught and something that needs to be shown to, not just teenage girls, but teenage guys as well. They need to see a real-life teenage girl giving birth and show the behind-the-scene stuff of being pregnant & everything else that goes along with it. They need to talk with a mom who was a pregnant teenager. They need real-life talks, not just a teach telling them abstinence is the way!
My husband started thinking about sex when he was 12/13, so I have a feeling me and my husband will probably talk to our son around that age. If he asks about it at an earlier age (but not too young) we may just have the talk then. =)
I love this post! I love all the comments. Some are wayyy out there, but then again, others make some really good points!
@chiltons99@xanga - The only part I agreed with you in your comment is this part:
"If parents would do their job and stop pointing fingers at others for not doing it for them, I think we'd see a lot of changes in our children...to include a decrease in teen pregnancy."
The rest of it I was kind of irritated about. I know you are religious and have your beliefs, but not everyone believes the same way you do, even your children may not believe like that. I was friends with a few people back in high school who had very strict, religious parents who believed that doing anything with the opposite sex was wrong -- and they turned out to be the worst out of all of my friends. They were the ones having sex and doing stuff they shouldn't be doing. BUT I do believe a lot of parents nowadays blame the schools and everything else, rather than themselves, for their teenagers actions. They should be the ones informing their kids, and not expecting the schools & media to do it. Plus if they wait around too long, then it may be too late.
@MommasBbyKnJke@xanga - I agree 100% with you. I am the same way. No matter how much you say it is wrong, if the teen likes doing it, they will continue to do it. Just be sure to show them the right ways and heyyy, even show them other ways to get their sexual frustrations out!
Haha -- sorry for the long comment, I didn't realize it was that long! I just get really into this subject. Hehe.