by Nurse Jenna
Today, I gave and graded the first exam for a new group of nursing students. Though overall they did reasonably well, many were still not happy with their grades. I always do an analysis of the exam questions to determine if a question was poorly asked, and if I think ulti mately I did not write the question well, I may add extra points to everyone’s score. I did that for one question on this exam. Despite the additional points, a couple of people still failed the test. I was approached after class by some of the students who attempted to negotiate with me. I heard about how they “needed to pass” and how “they studied really hard” and how “there were family problems.” While I did initially feel bad, the logical part of my brain prevailed. I realized, though some people may have been led to believe differently in childhood, an “A” for effort doesn’t exist in the real world.
This made me wonder if we aren’t doing our kids a disservice when we are constantly applauding their efforts, and have taken the focus completely off performance. Nowadays, every kid gets a trophy for an event, regardless of whether they have actually won or not. We celebrate graduations for every grade and make everything seem like an achievement even if nothing substantial has been accomplished. We make it seem like showing up is worthy of an award.
While certainly encouragement has to be tailored to a child’s age, (I believe you can never emotionally over-indulge an infant), I think you can distort a child’s view of themselves with constant praise as they get older. A baby throws a ball... Yeah! We all clap. The first steps are taken... Bravo! A toddler eats their vegetables... Good job! The alphabet was sung missing 10 letters... Super-duper! They tie their shoe on the wrong foot... that deserves ice cream!
The next thing you know, those kids are in nursing school thinking that because they got half the question right, they deserve some sort of credit. After all, they are accustomed to partial-credit in life, some type of gold star for trying. Unfortunately, on the job, giving someone their medication only partially correct could kill them. Trying isn’t good enough; you have to do. You don’t get to pass your exams just because you tried really hard. You don’t get promoted because you worked really hard. You have to deliver. The real world doesn’t operate on “effort.”
At what point are we actually hindering our kids by applauding effort and not results? What is an appropriate age to stop all-encompassing approval?
Comments (52)
I live in a small town in Kansas. When I still went to school here (we are about to move back home to Dallas, Texas, so my parents already took me out) my math teacher graded our homework based on completion. I don't know if that's normal for schools in other states, but I know that's not how it was done back in Texas.
The teacher would walk around the room with her gradebook, skim our homework assignments briefly to ensure that we had an answer for each question (regardless of the answer), and grade us.
The kids wrongly took advantage of that and usually guessed on questions they either 1) didn't know, or 2) just decided to rush through the assignment without thought. I'll admit, sometimes I would do that myself, but I usually tried not to.
The whole seventh grade consisted of eight kids, including myself. That was last year. This year, eighth grade, there's only seven, because I left.
With such a small class, I think she should have graded the papers based on completion AND correction, and she would actually sometimes do that. The few times she did that was because the kids weren't even bothering to complete the assignment, so she did it as a punishment for us all.
I thought this related to the whole "A for Effort" post because she was allowing the kids to breeze through her class without even trying. Kids would get A's for writing random numbers down on the questions.
No, there is no A for Effort. My parents always congratulated me when I did something good, like getting good grades on tests. But they always taught me to strive to do even better on the next test.
@NurseJenna - Yes, the world sadly is afflicted by this over-achieving and better than the jones' complex and has been for as long as time can tell. To say "thats just the way it is so succumb and be like all the rest" is not good enough for me and my family. Yet, i am saying *my children* do not need to be judged and tested all day, every day for 12 yrs just to get a good job or get into a good college. My children can work for many things during the day on their own accord as well as to be part of our team: our family. They also can find the true authenticity of their spirit as well as their mental abilities by challenging themselves to be *their* best instead of what others say they must be.
so many of you are so quick to judge homeschoolers when you know so little about it. My childrens lives are much closer to a reality than those being force-fed information that is mostly lost for a whole 12 yrs just to go on to study what they *may* wish to spend the rest of their live doing. School is not reality; To assume that we are teaching a "false reality" because we dont find it of utmost importance to put our children under constant pressure to perform is unbeleivably sad and ignorant.