by Mama Pig
I was watching that Mommy Swap last night on television. It is not a show I watch normally, but little E went to bed somewhat early and I was all alone in my bedroom with nothing good to watch.
From the few times I have seen the show, I understand the idea is to place two polar opposites into one anothers homes and wait for the fireworks to begin. Last night was no exception. One mom was carefree and the other was such a paranoid safety freak that I had a difficult time deciding which one made me more nervous.
While I agree that there are times safety measures should be in place, I feel that society has taken it to such a ridiculous level that children are not allowed to be children any longer.
Admittedly, I fell asleep prior to the show's end, but I watched enough to know that the safety mom was driving me crazy. Her children, which appeared to be around the ages of 8 and perhaps 11, were not allowed to do anything. According to the parents, the microwave was off limits, the stove was a big fire waiting to happen, and at any moment either child could just simply fall into the fireplace.
The fear in which these children lived was more frightening than anything they could face out in the world. The wooded area behind their home was a wild kingdom filled with coyotes, the hill that was their street was a mountain capable of immediate death. I mean, come on... they are children and should be allowed to explore on some level. The father had even placed a gate around the fireplace in the event one of the children decided to jump in the darn thing. Apparently, "no, the fireplace is hot" is not an acceptable deterrent.
There is such a fine line between teaching children how to remain safe and making them afraid of their own shadows. No, I do not allow C or little E to use the microwave. No, I do not leave the babies home alone for any length of time, but I do leave them with the two older siblings that are of age to babysit. All the older children are capable and use the microwave on a fairly regular basis. Yes, in the event of a fire, we all have an escape plan that we are aware of, but no, we do not practice it on a weekly basis. All the kids, except little E obviously, ride their bikes outside on our property and (gasp) not a single one owns a helmet. I am here supervising at all times, and other than a few bumps and bruises, have never had a problem.
My children climb the trees at our home. I can remember doing that as a child and sitting up there for hours, reading a book. I want my children to experience the joy of finally making it up to that branch they have been unable to reach until that moment.
I get nervous when I am at the playground with other children and see a mom that doesn't allow the child to run or slide out of fear of being injured. I sometimes question if their way is better. Am I a bad mom because I sit down with a book and allow C to run around and play? Should I be following him all around, holding his hand as he comes down the slide?
I like to think that I am a careful mom, but maybe others would find me too carefree.
Which do you think best fits you -- helicopter mom or let it all fly? Were you sheltered as a child?
Comments (52)
There's a limit to how much they should be sheltered. Too much leads them to be dependent and they'll most likely never go anywhere.
They may not go anywhere if there isn't enough "sheltering" too but that is why you'd have to take what your own parents did for you and build something around the example they had on you.
Learn from them and either shelter more, or shelter less. But actually following through on it does the most. Care but don't be too restrictive.
hah, thats how i was raised, my parents would say why dont you go ride your bike, (when i was younger my mom would sit out on the porch or lay out in the sun while i was outside) and so i would my mom would be inside watching tv or reading the paper, and she would check up on me about every 15 minutes just looking out the window or comming out side or something, and i think ive grown up to be perfectly fine, When you shelter your children they 1. can grow up to be very bratty or snotty and not do anything for thesmelfs because mommy and daddy have done it for them because they were too scared to do it, or 2. they get to highschool and get made fun of because they dont know how to do simple things like riding a bike.
i say let your child live a carefree life, hell their children and thats what their going to look back on as adults and say "man being a kid was so much easier"