Thursday, 02 October 2008
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"The World Does Not Revolve Around You!"
I always look at my parents and admire them for how good of a job they did with me and my siblings. I know that they deserve a lot of credit for how we all turned out, and when I ask my mom what their secret was, she always just laughs and says she really doesn't know what they did that was so right. I never got into trouble as a teenager; neither did my siblings. As I've been thinking about this the last few days, something occurred to me that my parents did very differently than many other parents I know. They taught me very early on that life was not about me. I don't remember my parents ever actually saying that to me, it was just the way that it was. I was brought up in a family business environment and we all had a "do what it takes" mentality. We worked together as a team at the business, at our church and in helping out friends in need.
My parents modeled a lifestyle of giving, and it started in the home. We all celebrated each other's triumphs and mourned each other's losses; in doing so, we all naturally become the center of attention at some point in time, and then it would shift to the next person. We were not single people all living in a house; we were a family unit working together in our home.
Being raised this way not only made me a better daughter and sister, but it has made me into a strong wife who loves and serves her husband, and he does the same for me. I wasn't brought up to be walked all over, but in the mentality that serving is true leadership, and serving and giving is how we love and receive love.
I can't count the number of times my brother has heard that we were having a yard work day or hubby was working on a house project so he just dropped in to help for a few hours. It's in those times that we talk, laugh, eat together and grow closer. It has never occurred to me to look at my siblings and try and figure out what I can get from them, rather, I look and see how I can give. In return, I have a brother and sisters for life. We're there for each other through everything, and I couldn't ask for more.
I so desire for my children to have this same relationship with each other, and am confident that it is attainable. My 3 year old son who is at the peak of "me season" in life (sharing, anyone?) absolutely adores his little sister.
I am continually looking for opportunities to stress "others" more than "self" in my kids' lives. As my children grow and they have opportunities to be involved in sports, music and extracurricular activities, my hubby and I have already discussed that we will limit each child's extra activities to one or two so that we all can be a part in cheering each other on, and continuing to be one family - not a family split each night at 5 different activities.
I want my children to live with the freedom that life doesn't revolve around them and that the more they give, the more life gives back and the more blessings they'll receive. Our society encourages child-centered parenting in which kids are the focus and I truly think that mentality only sets them up to fail.
I am thankful that I was taught that I'm not the center of the universe - how refreshing to know that life is bigger than me!
What are some practical ways to teach children that life doesn't revolve around them? How did you learn that the world didn't revolve around you?
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Comments (10)
Just like you said - pointing out that others are important too. My daughter isn't old enough yet to teach these lessons to, but my hubs and I plan on showing her how to be a selfless, serving, caring person by trying to be examples of that in front of her. Nothing irks me more than people who can't seem to see past themselves and that are so self-important.
great post! For a while, I was constantly telling my daughter "The world does not revovle around you." Now, she says it to herself when she notices that she is being selfish.
THIS is exacly one of the reason that we decided to have baby #2 so close to G. She is turning 1 in 3 days, and baby #2 is due anyday. G will learn at a very early age that it is the family unit working together that makes the family, Not her! And because she is only one she will never remember a time without her sister, so it will be natural. This was a very important concept to us. Not ever having our lives revolve around her. She has always melded into our lives. I am a stay at home mom, but she is part of my day, whether it being cleaning or cooking, NOT my ENTIRE day, if that makes any sense.
We thought about waiting 5 years to have the next until Hubby was commissioned in the Army, but decided that might be too trasitional for her, to teach her the world didn't revolve around her, and so we decided to have this one, and THEN wait 5 years to have #3!!!!
my physics teacher stops every day and looks at us through his superthick glasses and drones 'the wooooorrrld does NOOOTTTT revolve around youuuuuuuuuuuu.'
This is so refreshing! I am glad there are still parents like you out there!
@ReneeBrowning@xanga - That's kind of what we did! My son and daughter are 2 years a part, and now we've decided to wait 5 years and then we'd like to have 2 more close together.
@mamabutterfly - we want 4+ more after these 2, a couple years a part or so.... hence us waiting for hubby to be commissioned before having more kids!!! LOL
Ah! Breath of fresh air! Thanks for posting this! We're trying to train our children like this. You have inspired me to keep trying. Children that have a too 'large' dose of self esteem are not pleasant to be around and when I know they're coming to our house, I dread that moment when they enter our house and heave a sigh of relief when they leave! You can sense that halo of self-importance as soon as they step in side the door. Self respect is what we want our children to have. They will respect themselves if they are 'others' centered, and will be so pleasant to have around! And they need to learn to be willing to pull their end of the load and 'shoot for the good feeling' like Opie in the Andy Griffith show!!
@ReneeBrowning@xanga - that's why we're trying for baby #2 right now 2! My son turned 10 months old yesterday and we're hoping he will have a little sibling when he's around a year and a half old (I get to take my pregnancy test next week!!!)
@MelodicPuppy@xanga - Well I hope the test comes back positive, Good luck!!!!