Tuesday, 30 September 2008

• Miscarriage, Pregnancy, and Postpartum Depression

  by Mama Bee

  We found out August 8th, give or take a couple of days that we were going to be having a baby. We were ecstatic. I remember my husband tearing up looking at the plus sign. We’ve been trying for what seems like forever so this was a relief. Friday night, the night we found out we called everyone. His family screamed, crying and jumped for joy. They were so excited and made sure to let us know.

  Wednesday I went to the restroom at work and saw that I was bleeding. I broke down, I knew immediately. I went and got my husband and sister since they were on the same team and told them. My sister hysterically began to cry with me as she held me up. my husband, my beautiful husband started to tear up and tell me we were going to the hospital. We left, arriving there at 2:34, another story in itself that can be told another day. 

  I was put into the room, told to get in an old dingy gown and told I would be seen soon.

  They did test after test.

  By this time my dad was there, my sister, Papa Bee. There were so many people there they were taking 10 minute increments and switching turns since only 2 people could be in my room at a time.

  We ended up losing the baby. Something I still don't know how to deal with. Losing your first baby is devastating. There isn’t a manual on how to cope. It sent me into a deep depression I only shared with my husband.

  We found out 3 weeks later, we were pregnant. I was scared to take another test but I almost knew it.

  I sat in the bathroom in my robe, shower running and the test planted firmly on the sink.

  "Change, change, change" I repeated. no plus line, only the negative one that seemed to haunt me for so many months.

  I showered and prayed. My struggle with the miscarriage led me to other struggles with my faith. I asked God to please let me be pregnant.  Please give me my baby.

  I came out, dried off and it caught my eye. A faint, diagonal line stared back at me. I looked again. There’s a plus sign. It's there.

  Throughout my pregnancy it was a struggle. I was in and out of the hospital with how sick I was and for a person that hates hospitals, I was less than impressed.

  There was so much to deal with, I dealt with what I had to so I could make it to tomorrow. You hear it, you see it, you don’t really fully cope with it. You're not even really there. It's all too much to take in.

  After my daughter was born, nothing else mattered. I didnt care what happened before she got there. She was perfect and everyone agreed.

  My postpartum started at about 5 weeks. It was only a little so I waited for it to leave. I remembered my first 4 months of pregnancy, struggling at the thought of losing my daughter. Scared every time I went to the bathroom. I didn’t want to be sad. I didnt want to cry. I just wanted to enjoy my daughter because she is what matters. I should have no sadness, no struggles. She's here, that's what we wanted.

  But it all caught up with me.

  They say it's a hormonal imbalance. Something a lot of pregnant woman face. I personally know almost every one of my friends that have had babies, had it.

  I can’t cook unless my kitchen is all clean. I can’t clean unless I prepare. I can't prepare unless I have a couple of days to take everything in because if I get behind on my house, I don’t know how to catch up. If I don’t do laundry everyday, more than 2 loads panic me.

  It's little everyday things that get me.

  I'm not used to this. I'm normally very much in control of myself and my feelings.

  It's all very new still. They call it Postpartum Depression. Anyone I tell it to, say they couldn’t tell. I try not to show it because if I feel crazy, I'm sure I look crazy. But that isn't the case.

  I see the Dr. Tuesday. 4 weeks after my initial call.

  I'm glad I'm not any worse than having the blues a few times a week or I'd be screwed.

  ---

  Depression that occurs during pregnancy or within a year after delivery is called perinatal depression. The exact number of women with depression during this time is unknown. But researchers believe that depression is one of the most common complications during and after pregnancy. Often, the depression is not recognized or treated, because some normal pregnancy changes cause similar symptoms and are happening at the same time. Tiredness, problems sleeping, stronger emotional reactions, and changes in body weight may occur during pregnancy and after pregnancy. But these symptoms may also be signs of depression.

  What causes depression?

  There may be a number of reasons why a woman gets depressed. Hormone changes or a stressful life event, such as a death in the family, can cause chemical changes in the brain that lead to depression. Depression is also an illness that runs in some families. Other times, it’s not clear what causes depression.

  During Pregnancy
  During pregnancy, these factors may increase a woman’s chance of depression:

  • History of depression or substance abuse
  • Family history of mental illness
  • Little support from family and friends
  • Anxiety about the fetus
  • Problems with previous pregnancy or birth
  • Marital or financial problems
  • Young age (of mother)

  After Pregnancy
  Depression after pregnancy is called postpartum depression or peripartum depression. After pregnancy, hormonal changes in a woman's body may trigger symptoms of depression. During pregnancy, the amount of two female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, in a woman's body increases greatly. In the first 24 hours after childbirth, the amount of these hormones rapidly drops back down to their normal non-pregnant levels. Researchers think the fast change in hormone levels may lead to depression, just as smaller changes in hormones can affect a woman's moods before she gets her menstrual period.

  Occasionally, levels of thyroid hormones may also drop after giving birth. The thyroid is a small gland in the neck that helps to regulate your metabolism (how your body uses and stores energy from food). Low thyroid levels can cause symptoms of depression including depressed mood, decreased interest in things, irritability, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, and weight gain. A simple blood test can tell if this condition is causing a woman's depression. If so, thyroid medicine can be prescribed by a doctor.

  Other factors that may contribute to postpartum depression include:

  • Feeling tired after delivery, broken sleep patterns, and not enough rest often keeps a new mother from regaining her full strength for weeks.
  • Feeling overwhelmed with a new, or another, baby to take care of and doubting your ability to be a good mother.
  • Feeling stress from changes in work and home routines. Sometimes, women think they have to be "super mom" or perfect, which is not realistic and can add stress.
  • Having feelings of loss — loss of identity of who you are, or were, before having the baby, loss of control, loss of your pre-pregnancy figure, and feeling less attractive.
  • Having less free time and less control over time. Having to stay home indoors for longer periods of time and having less time to spend with the your partner and loved ones.

  What are symptoms of depression?

  Any of these symptoms during and after pregnancy that last longer than two weeks are signs of depression:

  • Feeling restless or irritable
  • Feeling sad, hopeless, and overwhelmed
  • Crying a lot
  • Having no energy or motivation
  • Eating too little or too much
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Trouble focusing, remembering, or making decisions
  • Feeling worthless and guilty
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities
  • Withdrawal from friends and family
  • Having headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations (the heart beating fast and feeling like it is skipping beats), or hyperventilation (fast and shallow breathing)

  After pregnancy, signs of depression may also include being afraid of hurting the baby or oneself and not having any interest in the baby.

  What is the difference between “baby blues,”postpartum depression, and postpartum psychosis?

  The baby blues can happen in the days right after childbirth and normally go away within a few days to a week. A new mother can have sudden mood swings, sadness, crying spells, loss of appetite, sleeping problems, and feel irritable, restless, anxious, and lonely. Symptoms are not severe and treatment isn’t needed. But there are things you can do to feel better. Nap when the baby does. Ask for help from your spouse, family members, and friends. Join a support group of new moms or talk with other moms.

  Postpartum depression can happen anytime within the first year after childbirth. A woman may have a number of symptoms such as sadness, lack of energy, trouble concentrating, anxiety, and feelings of guilt and worthlessness. The difference between postpartum depression and the baby blues is that postpartum depression often affects a woman’s well-being and keeps her from functioning well for a longer period of time. Postpartum depression needs to be treated by a doctor. Counseling, support groups, and medicines are things that can help.

  Postpartum psychosis is rare. It occurs in 1 or 2 out of every 1000 births and usually begins in the first 6 weeks postpartum. Women who have bipolar disorder or another psychiatric problem called schizoaffective disorder have a higher risk for developing postpartum psychosis. Symptoms may include delusions, hallucinations, sleep disturbances, and obsessive thoughts about the baby. A woman may have rapid mood swings, from depression to irritability to euphoria.

  Source: http://www.4woman.gov/FAQ/postpartum.htm

  ---

  I wrote this July 29, 2007. I no longer have postpartum but at the time, it was scary. My best friend is due in just a few short weeks and she is scared to have to deal with this, especially it being her first baby.

  Did you have postpartum depression after the birth of your children? What did you find most helpful when dealing with it?

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