Tuesday, 30 September 2008
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Do Women Handle Stress Better Than Men?
by Nurse Jenna
Saturday started out as the quintessential relaxing weekend day. I slept late, read in bed, went for a leisurely brunch, and then went to the gym to swim some laps while my boyfriend took my car to run some errands. After I was done with my workout, I called him to come pick me up. My day of relaxation came to an abrupt halt when I got a frantic voice on the other end of the phone. “I just got into an accident. Your car is totaled and not drive-able. You’re going to have to take a cab home.” Luckily no one was hurt, but the details still remained foggy after a rambling tale involving a left turn, a red light, and 5th street. Though there had been no mention of a light post, I had visions of my car wrapped completely around one. Well--gulp, I tried to look on the bright side, I guess I was wanting a new car, sort of. I stopped by my car on the cab ride home to assess the damage for myself. The driver kept saying to me, “Are you sure you want to look at this?” With the image of my car hugging a light post, I knew I was braced for the worst. When we pulled up to my car parked by the side of the road, I wasn’t quite sure I had the right car. “Hmmm,” I thought to myself. “Is this really the same car that my boyfriend described?” It looked like a fender-bender to me. Even the cabby jumped out and took a look. We were both perplexed—it really didn’t look bad at all.
In fact, I was more upset that one of my shirts from the dry-cleaner that boyfriend had gone to pick-up was lying in the street next to the car, than I was about the car itself. A tow to the body shop….$200 on Mastercard. A bumper replacement…$500 on Mastercard. A new wheel rim…$900 on Mastercard. My white shirt that I had tailored in Thailand….Priceless!
When I got home, I went upstairs to proclaim the good news—I saw the car! It wasn’t that bad! My optimism did not go over well. My boyfriend was sweating… pacing…ranting about the incident, how life as we knew it was essentially over. I was thinking, “Did I miss something? Was this not MY car? Why wasn’t I the one freaking out?”
There is actually a point to this story and it is that there is an on-going theme of reactions disproportionate to the situations. One could say I under-react or that my boyfriend over-reacts, depending on how you look at it. And it is not just issues surrounding our cars. My girlfriends and I discuss this often. When guys get a runny nose, it is as if they are on death’s door. Women, on the other hand, suck it up and carry on as usual, even when faced with a pounding migraine, 2 screaming kids and a job deadline. Why is this? Why does a man's stress threshold seem to be so much lower?
Does it seem to you like women react differently to stress than men do?
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Comments (34)
I don't think it's a men vs women issue.
maybe... at least to an extreme
No, your bf is just a wuss. I know plenty of girls that would (and do) freak out like he did.
I definitely think women handle stress differently than men.
I like to get things done, just finish them up so I don't have to worry about it later.
My boyfriend on the other hand seems to not want to confront the issue, and instead put it off for a "better time" to deal with it.
I had to chuckle at filtered_sunlight. We share kindred hubby's. Ron often gets going when all he has to do is pick up the phone and ask. Not sure about the bank balances and fees? Ask! Are we covered if we rent a car? Call Jeanne! I don't know about most men in this case, but I do know that for us Ron came prewired like this because of family traits from his grandma that they lived with since he was quite young. As far as the stress question, I believe that when God made the woman responsible for bring forth new life from her He placed in her the ability to deal with all that would entail. We have the kids, the home, for some the job outside the home, our marriages, etc. All these are a part of our lives. There is an interesting book out there titled "Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti." Generally speaking, men open the 'box' deal with what is there, close the box and move on to the next one. Women on the other had, everything that is their life is mixed together and touched everything else in her life. There are exceptions but generally women are hardwired to deal with the stressed better than men probably because we tend to be more emotionally attached to our lives.
it could just be his personality, but i think its cuz HE totaled the car.
YAY THAILAND! :D
now seriousness . i think it can be either gender . people just react differently to situations . maybe one factor is that women deal with more stress . like our monthly pain in the ass aka menstrual cycle . therefore our tolerance has been built up . i know mine has .
i think it just depends on the individual and their experiences in life.
I think it's definitely more of a person-to-person thing, rather than a man-to-woman thing. I definitely stress more about something that is not mine than I do about my own things (for the most part). As do most people I know. And when it comes to stress, my fiance' definitely handles things better than I do. My mother is the same. Her husband handles stress much better than she. My father is the same way. His wife handles stress much better than he. If anything, it's genetic, I think.