Monday, 29 September 2008
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Confessions of a Reformed Pack Rat: Keep It or Junk It?
by Mama Pig
After reading the toy purging blog I was reminded of my former packrat days.Prior to my divorce I had lived in the same home for almost twelve years. You would be amazed at what you can accumulate in twelve years. I remember going out to our back shed to clean out things prior to the move and discovering notes from people I knew in the seventh grade. Sadly, I am serious. Why on earth would I think that I should keep those things for more than ten years I will never know. I ended up throwing away or selling anything that would not fit in my van. Between the three kids, the photo albums I wouldn't part with upon threat of death, their favorite toys, and our clothes, there was not much left for sentimentality. It was quite hard, I felt like I was leaving a part of me behind, but in hindsight it was the best thing I could have done.
Hubby and I became quite the minimalist following our respective divorces. It almost seems like purging the marriage meant purging yourself of the material possessions that came with it. When we first moved in together we had one bed, one couch, a television, and two computers. It was a mad scramble to get beds for the kids, but thanks to resourceful family, they all had one within a week. What a difference six years makes.
When we had to move back in February it took a large moving van and several trips in the SUV to get us all moved. Far cry from that first move that held all my worldly possessions in the van. Now as we gear up for move number two in less than a year, I am seriously scoping out things that simply do not need to take up space in the moving van.
Unfortunately, hubby and I have differing opinions on what is "needed" and what is junk. I say that a digital camera he received as a free gift from AOL in 1998 is junk, he says we might "need" it. I say, sure, if every store in the land suddenly goes out of business and our two digital cameras break at the exact same time...yeah, we might need that one. He says that tech books from 1987 are an absolute must, I say that whatever they were for (which he cannot remember) has certainly expanded beyond those books and they should hit the recycle bin. He says that he needs those two full closets full of only his clothes, I say you wear the same three shirts no matter what and my closet is full of not only my clothes, but C and E's and I still have room left over.
I of course say that every handmade Mother's Day card is gold, he says I can't even remember which child did it and to let it go. I also say that yes, I have a thousand pictures of all the children from when they were infants that I realize will never see the light of day, but I can't bear the thought of throwing them out. He says they would make great bonfire material. In his defense, our walls are covered with pictures of all the children, the ones that are in boxes are simply duplicates or not so great ones, but they are my babies.
We have one entire closet full of I have no clue what. Each time I decide to tackle that closet, I make it through one container and become so frustrated with the "no, not that..." from both of us that I simply close them back up and pray for strength.
Okay, maybe I am not quite reformed, but I am definitely in recovery. I think I will go throw some things away from one of his boxes....shhhh.
Do you and your spouse agree about what is junk and what needs to be kept? What are some possessions that you probably won't ever "need" or use again, but can't part with?
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Comments (10)
We never agree - I am a saver and he isn't. OR I should say he thought he wasn't, but after cleaning out our storage unit this weekend and making a trip to his parents house where his mom showed him all the wonderful things she has saved from his childhood - he wants to save it all. He is turning into a saver, but we are getting better at saving ONLY the important stuff and selling/donating the rest. We are getting ready for a fairly large purge before baby #2 comes.
I'm on of those that thinks "I might need that someday..." And five years later I find that same item unused and still can't bear to part with it. When I move later this year I think a lot will get purged just because I remember what it was like moving into this apartment a few months ago and I don't think I can deal with that along with getting registered and settled in at a new school and into a new living situation. So hopefully this move will cure me of my pack rat ways.
Funny but we were just going through our closet the other day and I got down my box of stuff from high school/college. Stuff you never look at but just can't throw away. In there I have my apron from the florist that I worked at for 2 years in high school. It was quite possibly my favorite job ever and while I will never have need of that apron again.....I can't get rid of it!
We love junk!!
However, we just moved into a tiny apartment with NO storage. We can't afford to have a lot of unnecessary things lying around. Before we moved in and while we unpacked, we sorted and tossed and sold. One great motivator for me was seeing that unused stuff become $$!!! I sold A LOT of things on Ebay. My hubby got excited and actually went through his stuff to find things to sell. Maybe you can convince your hubby to part with those things if he knows there might be some profit in it. As far as keepsakes go, I have a rubbermaid tub with my special letters, mementos, and pictures. I also have a tub with some of my kids' favorite outfits from when they were infants. My hubby has a tub of his stuff too. He can put whatever he wants in there. The point is, the special things that we love and can't part with are put up and stored in a container where they can't be destroyed, but we aren't always tripping over or having fall on our heads everytime we get something out of the closet! =)
We try to get rid of stuff that we don't need, but it's hard to get rid of gifts of sentimental value. I think we're going to go the route of taking a picture and don't look back on some things.
My husband is a garbage man, he comes home with a new load of junk nearly every day. Most of which I deposit right back into the garbage or recycling bin as soon as he leaves the house. He is obsessed with nudie mags. He thinks they are collectibles and will be worth money.. if he knew how many I have found hidden in the oddest of places and tossed into recycling he'd probably have a heart attack. We live in a small 2 bedroom apartment with our 4 kids, there is NO room for anything! Yet he keeps bringing stuff home!! I dont even ask or try to argue anymore, I just toss everything that I either don't like or doesnt fit.. only occasionally he notices something is gone and I can usually get away with blaming the kids for misplacing it..
Some people have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, I have a sentimental teenager on one shoulder and a logical woman on the other when it comes to my "stuff". Usually, the logical woman wins out.
I've moved a lot since I moved out of my mother's house 8 years ago. In her recent move (she hasn't moved in 11 years), she uncovered things of mine that had been hanging out for those last 8 years that she didn't even know were there! LOL. She called to ask me what to do with it and my answer was, "I've lived without it for 8 years...get rid of it."
I hate packing and I hate wasting time, so I quickly became pretty minimal on account of looking at things and going, "If I keep this, I'll have to pack it, the box that it's in will have take up space in my car that could be used for something else, I'll have to unpack it at the new place, and find a place for it there. I'll never have that time from my life back again...is it worth that investment? Really?"
At one point, when the ex-husband and I were both sliding down hill, I restricted our "stuff we cannot part with, but do not use" down to a storage container each and we dated the top of the containers with the date that those things went in there. Then whenever we came across them and noticed it had been months since we'd put those things in there and not once had we missed them or cracked the the lids for anything, we went through them again and saw what we then felt like we could part with, knowing that we wouldn't miss it. He did better than I did on that task - his bin was gone about a year after it was started. Mine parrished about two years later.
Where kid stuff is concerned, I can say this: when they're 18, 20, or 30? That stuff will mean nothing to them. The ex-husband's mom saved everything her 5 kids ever did, boxed it up, and gave it to them when they bought their own homes. 99.9% of the stuff that Mike was given went out to the curb. Many of the unlabeled baby pictures weren't his and half of the art projects weren't anything he remembered doing either; most of them were unlabeled, too. "Lovies" are about the only thing that's truly sacred in my experience. Tim's mom recently mailed us Tim's first teddy bear and I've had my favorite stuffed dog from my infancy with me all of these last 8 years. pictures are great, but I only keep one of each in print and only the good ones that I know will be used in albums or frames; what's the point in keeping them if the only person that ever sees them is you and only when you're cleaning out the closet?
*whispers* I'm at 5 months and counting since Tim's old, hole-filled, pit-stained t-shirts that he refused to part with migrated out of the house. He still hasn't noticed. One day the out-dated Linux book, the massive brick that it is, will follow suit...
We definitely don't agree on what should be kept and what shouldn't. When we packed to move I had a ton of stuff. David threw away a bunch of his stuff and said I should throw away my stuff too. Well I hate throwing things away. It either reminds me of something or I think I will need it. I keep it and I never get it out again until I am back to cleaning out a closet.
Some things I keep but don't need:
1. Old school stuff (books, papers, notes, etc.) - I keep these because for some reason I think they will help me later... yeah, maybe if I could find anything in the huge stack of papers, some of which are from high school.
2. Little toys - I keep things such as McDonald's toys, little stuffed animals, little junk things that I got from somebody just because I think they are cute or they remind of something.
3. Anything that is broken - because I think eventually I can fix it
4. Clothes - if they are too small or just old, I feel bad getting rid of clothes. What if I decide to wear it again someday? What if it fits again? I know there are a few things that I have that I have never worn... those I keep because I think some day I will wear it. I know it.
I know I probably have more but that is what I can think of off the top of my head. This post is inspiring me to go home and clean out my closets. Though I still have tons of cleaning and laundry to catch up on since we didn't have power for 2 weeks. This will be my project to finish by the end of the month.
i am a pack rat, but my boyfriend is worse. his room at his parents is filled with "junk" 2 computer monitors, a huge tv and a closet full of toys that have "sentimental" value. since when have mcd toys had "sentimental" value???? i don't keep shit like that, mines mainly papers and crap from hs/college. i do keep some textbooks, tho.
we don't have room for his stuff in our current place...its too small. one closet of storage space and thats it. :P
For the most post, my hubby and I agree about what to throw out. Usually if we don't agree, it gets set aside. Then, if in a year we haven't used it, the other one agrees to throw it out. But, then again, neither of us are pack rats so we're pretty lucky! :)