Friday, 12 September 2008
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Body Piercing: What's the Limit?
by Mama Pig
I like to think of myself as an understanding mom. While I don't wish to be the "cool" mom, I do like to think my kids can come and talk to me about difficult things. I can remember growing up my friend's mothers were very uptight about discussing sex and birth control while my mom tended to go the polar opposite. She embarrassed me plenty of times with how frank she was with her discussions.Keeping that thought in mind, I like to see myself somewhere in the middle. I do not sit down with my daughter and discuss the proper way in which to kiss a boy nor do I shy away when the topic of sex comes up. I answer as honestly and as openly as I can and pray that this is just one of those "for the future" type conversations.
Having said all that, this post has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with piercings. Being a somewhat forward thinking mom, I don't mind some piercings. Piglet2 is almost fourteen and has requested that I allow her to pierce her belly. While I know some mother's would say no, I honestly had no problem with it.
What I do have a problem with is the whole lip, eyebrow, tongue thing. For me the belly is something that is easily hidden and kind of cute when you are out in your swimsuit. I will admit that I pierced my belly a few years ago and I love it. With that in mind, I approved.
A couple of days ago, Piglet2 throws me for a loop. She gets into the car and the first thing she says is "now mom, don't freak out, just listen to the whole story." This is not my first time at this particular rodeo, so I prepare for the worst. Thankfully, my worst was much worse than her story. It seems Piglet2 has this great friend that knows someone (don't you just love these kinds of stories) that does body piercings. "You see mom, her cousin does this like for a living and like wouldn't charge me anything, so I was like thinking....now don't get mad, but I was kinda hoping that, and remember it won't cost anything, well um...could I get my lip pierced? Since it won't cost anything, no money will be lost if like I don't like it. So you see mom, I am really saving you money by letting her cousin do it. So, like can I do it tomorrow?"
I had to remain totally still for a few minutes because I wanted to laugh, but knew that she would be upset if I did. My response was as follows; "Well, Piglet2, that is just great that your friend's cousin has such a great profession, but there is no way in you know where that you are getting your lip pierced. In reality you are saving me nothing because I wouldn't pay for something so stupid in the first place, but thanks for thinking of me." We had the typical, "buy why?" conversation which ended with me sounding just like my own mother when I kept repeating, "because I said so that's why."
Am I just getting old or does anyone else think this whole piercing fascination has gotten out of hand? Do your kids have any body piercings? How about you?
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Comments (155)
My wife and I enjoy various body piercings (my wife even does piercings sometimes), however, both of us agree not until our kids are 18. If one of our daughters asked for her belly button, we would consider it. Anything else and the answer is no. Especially facial piercings because no matter what they will leave at least some kind of scar which, when they become adults, may well bother them or lead to regrets.
I have mixed feelings about this. My mother wouldn't let me get anything but my ears pierced until I was 18, and I accepted it. My friend on the other hand had parents who said no until 18, and she kept sneaking out and getting piercings.
I think you should still keep firm on the facial piercings. Discuss that maybe she should be older before she starts modifying something so precious. If she doesn't take proper care of the lip piercing, and then decided to take it out, she will have a permanent mark there, and I know I wouldn't want that.
At the age of 16, I would allow my daughters to get any type of "normal" sized piercing (um.. above the waist). I would not allow them to stretch their lobes, etc. I had facial piercings as a teen and they did not scar.
I have one piercing and I'm not totally sure that I would allow my kids to have any until they where 18.
That said, I'm personally not into the facial piercings (lip, eye & nose) but I don't have an issue with a tongue piercings. Just my 2 cents...
I wanted my lip done when I was 17, I pierced my own lip without my Mom's permission. It wasn't right though. So I took it out and waited till I was 18. [the very exact day by the way] She's very understanding though, she didn't make me pull out my makeshift piercing.
I think a lot of moms are against facial piercings. It's to each his own, but I think they should atleast give a reason. I am always more understanding as a daughter when I am givin a reason.
I have my ears pierced but don't wear earrings because they make me itch - I am allergic to all but real gold earrings....and I can't afford those! :) I wouldn't get any other piercings because of my allergy.
With my kids - I don't think I'll allow anything but ear piercings until they are adults. They can make that decision then.
I want snakebites but my mom would kill me if I ever got it done.Â
Plus, would not make me look like a respectable doctor (someday) (:I wouldn't allow anything but ears until they were 18. (nor any tattoos) These could be permanent changes in your appearance, or could lead to problems when not taken care of.
Then again... I have never understood the fascination with some of these piercings, and it seems to be getting more and more in society. I can understand having a place to hang your earrings - the earlobes have few nerve endings and no real other function - but it seems like it would be painful and troublesome to put one anywhere else, and I like my body better the way it is. I just... don't get it???
For girls, ears, and just once. For guys, the limit is 0 (ditto that for young children).
I hate when people have some moral issue with facial piercings. They don't change your mind or credibility or skills at all. Twenty years from now they will be much more accepted because the teenage and 20-something generation right now will be running things.
I understand waiting until you're 18 for facial piercings because it is more difficult to find a job. Just be careful how strict you are, because there are kids out there that will pierce and tattoo everything they can as soon as they can sign the form themselves (just to spite their parents).
Should've said no on the belly - not for any other reason other than the fact that she's still growing, and so within the next few years it will migrate and possibly reject - gross!
(I'm a body piercer, so I have to say things like this :) )
Growing up, my mom hated all of my piercings, but she said that she was just grateful that I could always take them out and it wouldn't be a huge deal.
Personally, I think parents should not allow any piercings other than ears til 16, just for the growth reason. I can't tell you how many girls came into my shop with their moms with these horribly scarred navels, asking me how in God's name they could fix it. Yuck!
Other than tattoos (and only because I want them to think long and hard about if they want something that will be on them permantly) Im pretty open minded about what my children want when their young.
If they want piercings on their face, I will let them have them. I had my nose pierced and theres no evidence of ever having one at all.
My husband had his lip pierced and you cant tell.
Piercings, do NOT always scar.
Its not my place to understand the desire of things like piercings. I just accept the fact that everyone is different. I would say, your young once, and only once. When you get older those things are less acceptable in trying to find a serious job or things of that nature. As someone who had friends with tattoos and piercings (as well as plenty of friends who were "normal" looking if you call it that) its something that they may keep throughout teenage years, but most of the time, its just a phase for that part of their life anyways. So just let them do things like that now, while they can. My parents didnt understand that when I was younger. Also, just as a sidebar.. tattoos and piercings DO NOT mean your child does drugs or drinks or is a bad person... thats a fairly common misconception Ive found.
just tell her boys prefer to kiss nice lips.:)
i actually am planning to get a tattoo on my hipbones...not anywhere visible cuz this is a private tattoo.. i drew it myself and its suposed to symbolize my freedom of expression( art wise).....i think piercing bellybutton is fine but the face is abit difficult to reason with...face piercings come with lots of problems, cuz if they do get infrected and its espiecially easy to get infected around the mouth area, since food passes through there duh. i wouldnt suggest a lip piering, but i think she could pierce her nose instead..its quite normal for a nose..lip= complicated
only two per ear is allowed...nowhere else.
I think it all depends on your child's maturity level.
I think 14 is a bit too young for a belly piercing and I'm 18.
I think once the child is 16, parents can at least consider it on certain places on the body.
Once they're 18, you can't really do much.
I would just make sure they know how the piercings might affect future job prospects and how people might treat them. They just need to be conscious.
i wouldn't mind. i make them wait until they were fifteen or sixteen just to make sure that they really wanted it and were responsible enough to handle it. it's just jewelry.
@whitetrashpoet@xanga - Thank you for the heads up. I never would have thought about her still growing factoring into the belly piercing. It is something I will be researching now.
I would have to discourage the face, too. Does school even allow that?? It will make it difficult for her to get a job and it will affect the way that people look at her, period. It may not be right, but that's just the way it is, you know? I've had my ears peirced twice and I used to have my navel done, but I took it out because my ex didn't like it...now I miss it and will have it redone in a few years or so. I think it would be hypocritical to say, "I did it, but you can't." So, provided that the peircer didn't think she would have a problem with 'migration', I wouldn't be able to say, "No." to ears or navel either.
I'm even hesitant to say I'd definitely say no to facial peircings, depending on Megan's attitude... My Aunt said, "No." to my cousin's tongue ring, so she did it herself at a sleepover. Of course it wasn't properly done or sterile and developed into a nasty infection. If I felt like she was just going to run out and do it anyway, I'd rather know that the person doing it is licensed and clean and that she knows how to take care of the peircing and, if I knew about it/she wasn't trying to hide it from me, I could make sure she was keeping up on it. If she takes care of it and then decides she doesn't like it, it will be less likely to scar, too.
I think having piercings or tattoos doesn't affect the way you are. They don't automatically mean you're a bad person. It's just the physical apprearance, anyways. Personally I'd like to get tattoos and lip/eyebrow piercing in the future, but I really dislike piercings on the navel or tongue. I have a friend who has a tongue piercing and I hated it; don't know why. And the navel piercing could potentially be dangerous. I once heard on the news that a teenage girl with a pierced belly had been in a car accident, and the piercing penetrated through her belly and into her inner organs and intestines and all that, and she barely lived. Kinda freaks me out, so I wouldn't want a belly piercing.
I don't think I'll allow any piercings (other than regular ear piercings) or tattoos until 18, simply because I know too many people who regret their teen choices. We have a family member that we still give a really hard time to b/c in highschool he wanted to get a tattoo. He wasn't allowed to, and he is so thankful now because he would be so embarrassed about it, because of what it was. In his words "Someone who can't yet vote should not be able to make permanant decisions!" haha...
I am not one for facial piercings, it makes me wonder how would they get a job because many jobs wouldn't want piercings of any sort other than ears that are exposed the same with tattoos. I have heard a few friends upset because they didn't get a job they wanted simply because of a lip or nose ring.
I think it kind of depends. My mom had me wait until I was thirteen to get my ears pierced, which I think is an okay age for ears. If my daughter wants her belly button pierced, she has to at least wait until she is sixteen and it will depend on her maturity (why does she want this type of piercing, still not allowed to wear above midriff shirts, etc.)
When it comes to piercings that can leave scars and marks or alter the face/ears (like those lobe stretching piercings) I will have her wait until she is an adult. Those kinds of piercings could affect her appearance for the rest of her life. Teenagers don't always consider that. And it likely will affect them in the professional workplace.
@mamapig - No problem. Kids always hated me for telling their parents things like this, ha - and there is a chance your daughter may not have a problem, but there is a decent chance of scarring and rejection in the piercing. Those things aren't significant or harmful, but can lead to a pretty ugly navel! (If it happens, for future reference, Vitamin E oil works wonders for breaking down scar tissue)
I only have one piercing on both ears. And I'm going to leave it at that! My sister wanted more piercings on her ears and both of my parents just freaked on what I thought was a reasonable request.