by Mama Turtle
So far, Turtle1 is doing really well at school. It is so much better for him overall to be in a regular routine too, he's overall in better spirits and less likely to melt down over something. This makes life more pleasant for everyone in the house. In somewhat related news, we now have a referral for him to see a specialist for ASD. The regular ped. appt. he was funny at (I wasn't there, too sleepy to go, but I knew I wasn't going to miss too much and I'm of course going to the specialist appt.). The Dr. asked "What do you like to do for fun?" and Turtle1 said "Well, I like to howl, do you want to hear?" LOL.
Papa Turtle also brought up the auditory processing disorder and the Dr. seemed lost on that one. Papa Turtle shirked it off on me: "Well my wife knows a lot more about it" though he did try to describe what it was like. I'm not sure the Dr. got it. It's hard to explain sometimes that "he can hear but he sometimes can't." Since I've realized a few years ago that I have always had this myself, I know that it is something that is pretty cope-able, because it's not severe, and I don't think Turtle1's is severe either. For both of us, it's enough to be a pain in the ass sometimes, but not really enough to go seek help for, so, no matter.
Turtle2 didn't want the summer to end, and wasn't too thrilled with going back to the school he "hates." There has been no compromising or convincing him to reconsider his opinion. He wishes we could go back to the school in NY. I sympathize with him but it's out of my hands. Yet so far he hasn't had any problems and the schoolwork itself is fine. Another problem though is that Turtle2's constant voicing of his opinion of school has been rubbing off of Turtle3.
Turtle3 has been the one to start off the school year with a bang. I got a phone call the first Thursday of the first week of school. He was in a horrible mood and being obstinant. The teacher thought perhaps speaking on the phone with his mom would break through the stubborn silence but, he wouldn't talk with me either. Of course no one could figure what was wrong or what could have set him off. He's fine one minute and then PO'ed the next. The following day was better I believe.
Then Tuesday last week I got another phone call. Then they called me again an hour later asking me to come in (and it was not even 10am at this point). I got Turtle4 dressed and threw on clothes and had Uncle B drive me over. I was there for almost two hours, starting off with lunch (they eat lunch at 10:30 in the morning!!), helping him to redo work he scribbled on earlier in the day, and watching him do recess, quiet time, and some math and science. He went back to plucky happy Turtle3 by that time and so I left so I could get Turtle4 lunch (she was starting to melt down, but was in her glory the whole time we were there). I have to say, I actually like his teachers thus far (and on a fun trivial note, we're all pregnant, lol).
Of course, Papa Turtle and I are constantly encouraging him to basically chill out, and that it was ok to tell his teacher about a problem he was having or if something made him upset, but not to act out knocking her stuff over on her desk or scribbling all over his journal. Yet Wednesday was worse. After an attempt to call daddy in the hopes that maybe that would be better than trying to talk with me yielded the same result, Papa Turtle called me saying they wanted me to come pick him up. I was torn between not wanting to reward his behavior for an early exit of school for the day, but if the teachers were at a loss I didn't want him sitting high and dry either, so off I went. All I could figure out on that day as to why he was in a bad mood was that he said Turtle1 had "made fun of him" before getting on the bus and on the bus, to the point of him starting to cry when he told me. Papa Turtle and I gave Turtle1 quite the talking to that evening for it (ok that makes it sound like we were all mean and harsh with him, we weren't).
Thursday he was fine, Friday he had a note home for doing something but that his behavior was "improving." Same thing with Monday. I guess moving his "monkey" on the wall from green to yellow is a note home, but moving all the way to red with continued acting out is what gets the phone call. While I was at the school last week I did speak with the assistant principal and told her everything I could think to say: Turtle3 started Kindergarten last year with no problems and did well throughout the time we were there, until moving down here. Then this past March at the new school these behavior issues started. I was recommended a "coping skills" workshop by the guidance counselor, and I expressed that I was interested but then never heard back. At the same time, Turtle3 seemed to settle down and the school year ended just fine.
The assist. principal said that she would get back to me on this workshop and have the guidance counselor get back to me as well. Meanwhile I'm jumping out of my skin every time the phone rings, thinking "Please don't let it be Turtle3's teacher again" (on the other hand, I'm glad she's been in constant contact with me). As of now we're trying to finangle a meeting with the teacher but times are just not working out so far. I need Papa Turtle to go with me so the boys don't come home to an empty house (Uncle B would be here to see them off the bus) but it's hard for him to get out of work early and I don't see a 6 or 7 pm meeting happening.
Have any of your children ever exhibited behavior problems in school? What was the reason, and how did you help him/her?
Comments (4)
The second-cousins that my mother cares for have the opposite problem: they're holy terrors (I seriously will NOT go over to her house to visit unless it's a weekend that their dad has them and they're not there.) at home and in stores, but described as "well mannered" and "sweet" at school.
Of course it doesn't help that my mom is hell with follow through...I tried sitting down and watching those nanny shows with her, pointing out the importance to follow through in their actions, but it just doesn't seem to get her anywhere; she still caves into them.
What happens when he is sent home from school? If he's still allowed to play with the toys he loves and go about his normal activities, perhaps he is viewing it as "reward" to be sent home. Maybe the next time the teacher can send his work home with him and he'll learn that he doesn't magically get a "Get Out of School Free" card for acting up...?
Make sure he doesnt eat any rubbish for breakfast, a wholegrain cereal and no sweets for school snacks make wholesome ham sandwiches or croissants and fruit, NO SUGAR as this makes them lose concentration and behave badly. My child gets very bold if she eats sweets and chocolate its just not worth it. They then have sugar crash after and become lethargic and tired. This all affects behaviour. Try also an Omega 3 supplement to help brain activity, this is now in certain milk and butter spreads so switch brands to one that has it.
Hope this helps.When young kids are acting out in school there are some things that you can do to help fix the bad behavior. When things are calm, get down on their level, look them in the eye and
say, “Hitting, biting, kicking and pushing are wrong and they hurt
people.” Be sure to tell them what their consequence will be. I also recommend that parents work with their child’s teachers as much
as possible: let them know you are doing your best to curb aggressive
behavior at home.