Friday, 05 September 2008
-
Down Syndrome Is Not a Four Letter Word
by gwacemom
When McCain announced his choice for running mate, I will admit I was excited. Not necessarily because I cared for his choice, but because I knew that Palin had recently given birth to a child with Down syndrome. My thoughts were that with putting her in the spotlight, it might open a dialogue on a subject not many people are overly familiar with. Well, I guess the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for" is true. A dialogue has started and it is not a very pretty one.In the days following the news, I have read so much misinformation with regards to Down syndrome. I have almost reached a point that I am turning off the computer and TV and avoiding newspapers. From the rumors that the child is not really hers because who would have a "special needs" child without the benefit of a NICU, to how could a mother with a "special needs" child dare to go back to work only four days after giving birth. I also read that she should not run simply because of all the extra work this "special needs" baby requires. In reading all these things, I just sit and wonder. Has any of these people even seen this child, much less know his health conditions?
The fact is that not every child born with Down syndrome requires time in the NICU. Some do, not because of the Down syndrome, but because of other health issues that are often associated with the syndrome. My daughter spent 25 days in the NICU following her birth, but her Down syndrome was not the reason. She had other issues that needed to be resolved, which most likely would have been there even if she had not been born with enhanced genes. The NICU that my daughter resided in had over 30 infants at any given time while we were there. Out of those 30, only 2 had Down syndrome.
I do not know if this woman is qualified to hold the office of Vice President because I have not had the opportunity to research and make an informed decision. What I do know is this: she was blessed with a beautiful child that happens to have Down syndrome. That, in my opinion, does not rule her out from accomplishing anything. I know many women that have a child with enhanced genes and those women have accomplished great things. To read that simply because her child has a disability she is somehow less qualified is absurd.
Down syndrome is not a death sentence. People grow up and often live perfectly normal lives. Children are mainstreamed in schools now instead of automatically being placed in Special Education. Gone are the days where the family simply hides the child away in an institution. I would be willing to bet that many of you have been in the presence of a child with Down syndrome at the store, or at the mall and were completely unaware. They are not branded with a big "D".
I guess what I am trying to say is this... do not discount anyone simply because their child was born with a disability. Learn a bit more about the subject before you make broad assumptions. Down syndrome is a very misunderstood issue. I should know, prior to my daughter's birth -- I had no clue about it at all. When I was given the news I had ever stereotypical picture in my head that you could ever imagine. The reality of the situation is this, however, that my daughter looks much like her siblings. She has her daddy's skin color and her mama's eyes. She is a happy child most of the time, but take away a toy and she will become a bear. She loves playing outside and she loves Blues Clues. She does not look like "Corky" from that show in the early 90's. She looks like my little girl -- beautiful, adventurous, and the most wonderful gift I could have ever received.
I was in the midst of obtaining my degree so that I could enter law school when my daughter was born. While for the moment those plans are on hold, it has nothing to do with her Down syndrome. I needed the break and wanted to make sure that the direction of my life had not changed. I will go back to school and I will get my law degree. I will complete all those things despite of the fact that I have a "special needs" child. If there is one thing my daughter has taught me, it is life goes on no matter what obstacles are put in your path.
Again, I have no idea if Palin is qualified for the position. I simply know that having a child with Down syndrome does not mean she isn't.
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (23)
Wonderful post. I have been frustrated by the medias views on Palin's parenting, also. If they are not there to see the way she and her family deal with their challenges and successes how do they dare to make assumptions and judgements?
I do not have nor do I know any children with Down Syndrome but I loved the quote I saw where Palin said that her family had been blessed with a baby with Down Syndrome.
AMEN!
Great Post! Amen to it all!!
Great post! I actually think Palin is awesome and would bring a fresh perspective to the white house.
I don't understand why people keep bringing up her children either. From her youngest with Down Syndrome to her oldest being pregnant. Goodness. Like candidates are supposed to be unrealistically perfect people with perfect families. Yeah, that's real American.
Special needs children of any kind aren't anything bad. My baby sister had Cerebral Palsy very severely and I know quite a few people(from babies to adults older than me) with Down's Syndrome. One woman is married, one girl is in my daughter's class at school, and so on. There is nothing wrong with special needs people. and I agree with you whole-heartedly that it does NOT in any way make her less qualified to be our nation's VP.
I wrote a post about this here recently, and I want to clarify my position as I feel it;s been misunderstood. I did not say she was unqualified b/c of her child or the child's condition. I made some assumptions that perhaps were not fair, but I know if it were me I would need to take some time in that first year to feel some sorrow for my child's disability, and to learn about his condition and adapt my expectations. Maybe that seems cold to put it that way, but I think it's something most parents go through in that sort of a situation. It's not "bad" or ":wrong" to have a child with a disability, but my guess from watching other families dealing with this, is that it takes an extra degree of patience and energy.
I also do stand by my position that the first year of a child's life (no matter its health) might not be the best time to step away form the child and take on something that will demand almost everything you've got, as I'm sure a public campaign and this new position would. Should the decision about whether she should be our next vice president be weighted solely on this issue? Of course not. Should it be ignored completely? I'm not sure about that.
@mamahippo - While I can understand your thinking that I was responding to your post the other day; which I did read; it was not just your post that set me to typing.
You are corrrect in many of your statements. I took the time to grieve for the child my daughter might never be. That took me about 30 minutes and then I looked at her and realized that much like all my children, I had no clue what she might accomplish in life. Someone once told me that she would achieve as much or as little as we expected of her. That was the moment my husband and I decided that we expected the moon and the stars and know that she will far exceed those expectations.
On other issues, we shall agree to disagree. The difference between us is quite simple...I have walked this path for 18 months first hand, and for you it is an abstract. I fully believe that until you are in this position there is no way to know how you would respond. I most likely would have felt exactly like you had it not been for my little miracle.
Thank you for your words. I meant no disrespect to your post. I am always willing to view the other side of the issues, my only request is that others be willing to do the same.
I agree with you, though. I think it is appalling that the media would even suggest Palin is unqualified simply because she has a special needs child. Ridiculous. From what research I've done, I'm actually really excited that Palin is running as McCain's VP. She seems to be a really good woman AND politician, and the media is so desperate to find anything they can make her look bad for that they've sunk to new lows. I'm sorry, but if all they've got to smear her with is attacking her children, they've got nothing.
I do not think people are picking on Palin because of her children. I just think people are being realistic and I think that the people who are getting upset over it have not really analyzed this position as President. Someone even said well she is just going to be VP, not President. But as all of us know,with McCain's health and age, it is a very good possibility she would be the President. Now, I respect your opinion and I am a feminist. But I ask you how can a woman with 4 children at home and a grandchild by the end of the year. It is obvious that the parents are going to have to help with this grandbaby as this young man is just that a young man who is not able or ready to support a wife and baby in the manner they are accustomed. So here we have two infants in the family by the end of the year along with the other children. Now, Whitehouse requires 24/7 attention. Even the men and women who are in the Congress put in long and stressful hours.
Either her homelife or the Whitehouse is going to suffer. I am telling you it is too much. Even though I am a feminist, I think we have to be real. People say well now you are saying a man can do it but not a woman. In this case, yes. If a man was in there with all these children, he could focus completely on the job at hand because the wife would be taking care of the children and the duties. A father cannot take the place of a mother. I have always worked out of necessity and would have worked even if it had not been because I enjoy working. I had two children and it was hard to juggle everything with 8-5 job that I did not have to take home with me. And I only had two children. I realize there are women with large families having to work because they are single parents. But I guarantee you that at the end of their day, they are give out, absolutely worn out. Could they do it and hold up to it, not letting their family suffer if they had a job that required sometimes 80 hours per week and then bringing the weight of that job home.
I do not think people are attacking her children, it is just reality. Furthermore, if people start researching, there is plenty other things to be worried about this candidate other than her family issues. But I am like you, to each his own and I think it is good that we can hear each other's sides. Xanga has really help me keep informed and learn a lot I didn't know so I could look it up for myself. Thank you for your honesty and consideration.
hooray!! excellent post!! i feel the same way! my little bro has downs & my mom always relates that old story 'planned a trip to the bahamas but ended up in holland instead. oh well. holland is nice too.' and that's something that people don't get. sometimes people will say 'oh i'm sorry' when i say my bro has downs. i say 'why? he's perfect!' he just turned 19 & has a totally normal happy life. he went to the prom, graduated and has a job he loves. he had a better time in high school than i did.
and his health problems were not at all due to the downs. they were health probelms he would've had anyway & the exact same ones i have because they run in the family. not because he has downs.
have you ever been to imperfectparent.com ? there's blog there called 'long trip on a short bus' that's written by a mom of a school aged child with downs. it's really excellent, you should check it out if you haven't alredy.
i don't care of palin.but it's not because of her mothering abilities, it's because of her stance of certain issues. which is how it should be. i think it's horribly unfair to bring this lady's mothering abilities into question during a political campaign. how many men have their fathering abilities dragged out into the lime line when they run for office?
@Battie@xanga - Thanks for the website. I have not read it, but am heading there now. It is so nice to hear your view as a sibling. My daughter has seven and each of them view her just as she is...their sister.
@wesermol@xanga - It is my understand that her husband is a stay at home dad, so to speak. Do you mind explaining why you feel that a father cannot take the place of a mother while seeming to imply that a mother could stay home and take the place of the father?
@gwacemom - yep. that's exactly how i see my brother too. just as my brother. my parents had to fight really hard to keep him mainstreamed in school, but it was really worth it. they acknowledged that no, it's not important for him to do algebra or know the presidents of the US. but it important for him to know how to get along with his peers & be accepted. so he was kept in mostly regular classes up to his senior year with the rest of the class. his graduation ceremony this summer was amazing. when he accepted his deploma the ENTIRE SCHOOL erupted in cheers and clapping & EVERY SINGLE MEMBER of his class hugged him & cheered for him. it was absolutely amazing!
This is an excellent point of view, and I agree that much of the media coverage and amateur commentary on this issue has been staggeringly inappropriate. I can only imagine with what disgust a person in your position must respond to such hackery. One issue, however, is fair in my opinion and it is a shame we have not heard more discussion about it. That is this: it is well-documented that holding executive office takes a huge toll on a politician's family life, even during relatively stable times. To discuss how Sarah Palin's two major familial challenges may impact her job performance, her obligations as a wife, mother and grandmother, or both, is important as we decide who is best to take the reins of our country.
Tangentially, I wonder when "Down syndrome" became commonplace for "Down's syndrome". The latter seems somehow less suggestive than the former.
@cbprice24@xanga - John Hagee, who has given his endorsement to McCain, has this to say about stay at home dads "...you're too lazy to work and support your
children. I'm talking about men. You call yourself Mr. Mom, God callsyou a bum. St. Paul says you are worse than an infidel. Let me look you
right in the eye and tell you that hell is your future home if all you
do is sit on your backside and let your wife support you in your life."
(
The video can be found on YouTube. ) Instead of renouncing the endorsement of this fooI McCain keeps his mouth shut in fear of losing the Christian Fundie votes.
Good post...Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with others.
Nice post.
I have to say that her children are definitely NOT the reason I'm not going to vote for that particular ticket. I've met people with Down's Syndrome - one of my friends in middle school had Down's Syndrome and she was the sweetest girl you'd ever meet, and her mother was one of the most qualified women I've ever met. She held a career and she held it quite well. As for having a pregnant daughter - that doesn't matter with Palin's ability to run a country. A country is a lot different than a teenager. All of that is personal stuff that anybody in the world could go through and it doesn't have anything to do with her ability to run a country.
People have to learn to look at the issues and read politics intelligently, instead of like a tabloid magazine.
The Memory Keeper's Daughter (Book) and The Secret Life of the American Teenager (TV Series) both tackle Down's Syndrome.
The book does so more directly because it's a huge part of the story. It's an interesting read.
I'm not saying she's not qualified because of her child with Down syndrome. All I'm concerned about is that, if McCain gets into the White House, this little baby isn't going to have as much care and attention from his busy mother as he might otherwise have had. It would be a concern even if he didn't have Down syndrome. I would imagine that, for a lot of mothers, missing out on a good portion of their child's first years would be something to regret later.
To me, Sarah Palin is a great hope for women who want to see a woman in the white house. What woman really related to Hillary? She didn't seem to bring any advantages that femininity might have. To be married to a womanizing slob and not divorce him cemented her image as cold and unwomanly in my mind.
But Sarah? Awesome. Give me somebody who can handle with grace and optimism the curve balls her children throw at her. My own grandmother had a son who was mentally retarded and accomplished more in the home, church, and business sphere than many mothers with one "gifted" child can.
Sarah Palin is a fantastic example of what an energetic, truly feminine woman can do. And what I mean by truly feminine is strong, smart, ambitious, loving, supportive and everything that all of ladies want to be, and are.
Thank you for this post. I know my comment was a bit off topic, but you just made me think on so many different things.
What a great post! I'm glad you posted about this; it's such a hot topic right now. It seems like there are a lot of things people are jumping on with Sarah Palin, and since I haven't had a chance to learn more about her either, it's really frustrating. Thank you for posting about this.