Wednesday, 27 August 2008
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Why Not Just Hand Your Child a Cigarette?
by Mama Bee
There are some things that upset me to the point that I get sick to my stomach. One of those things happen to be when parents smoke while their children are in the backseat inhaling that crud while the idiot smoking has all of the windows rolled up. Another happens to be pregnant women smoking. Are you serious?Yesterday as I was going to an appointment for my daughter there was this young lady, I would say mid twenties, very pregnant puffing away. I was disgusted and promptly turned around, daughter in tow, and went to the back entrance. I don’t allow people to smoke around my children. When they are old enough to decide if they want to destroy their lungs that will be their choice and their choice alone. I will not allow myself or anyone else to make that decision for them especially when they don’t know how it is affecting them.
It breaks my heart to see parents so selfish that they don’t take in account for their children’s health. The way that I look at it is if you want to kill yourself, that is your choice but who do you think you are to make that decision for your children? There are so many health issues that you're giving your child that without inhaling smoke, they might not have.
There have been times that as my husband and I are driving somewhere we see a parent with all of the windows rolled up except theirs which is barely cracked with children in car seats, infants, pre-teens and teens in the backseat just breathing the poison. Why not just hand them a cigarette for their own?
My husband has been known to pull up next to them and ask them who they think they are doing that to their children. We've gotten many responses from “I'm sorry I've never thought about it, to mind your own business.” Either way, those children don’t always have a voice and we would feel awful if we said nothing. Will it change them? Maybe not but at least we got their attention for it even if it is only for a stop light.
What's your view on smoking while pregnant or in the car with children in the backseat? Would you say anything if you saw someone doing it?
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Comments (75)
u know, me & one of my NICU nurses were just talking bout this a couple of weeks ago. i cant stand to see ppl smoke while their pregnant, when they have kids in the car or even outside for that matter! i was getting very irritated at all the parents who were in the NICU that smoke, granted its their choice to smoke and i could careless. but the one thing i was asked as soon as i walked into the NICU was do u smoke. NO! they were relieved. everyday i see parents sit outside the hospital to smoke and then walk right back up into the NICU. and i just know that when these poor babies get home, their parents arent gonna stop smoking in the house.
I totally agree with you! I hate being around smokers in the first place but when they are smoking while pregnant or around kids, GRRRRRRR!! I want to just smack them. My father smoked around me when I was little and I will never forgive him for it. (Not that I've seen or talked to him in years anyway.)
At a BBQ at a friend's house, one of their friends was 8 months pregnant and had a 1 year old, she pretty much chain smoked the entire 4 hours she was there. I didn't really know her so I didn't feel it was my place to say anything but when they told a story of their daughter getting into her purse, pulling out a cigarette and trying to light it with a lighter....
Everyone was sitting there laughing like it was the cutest thing in the world. I looked right at her and said "That's not funny." I feel she got my hint. That was a few years ago and it still makes me angry.
Yes, I am so with you on this! I think it is so wrong when people smoke around their children. I mean, we would have a fit if anyone gave their child a glass of alcohol, so how is this any different?
I do have compassion on those who have struggled with quitting and smoke away from their children - i.e. outside when the kids are NOT around. I respect that they're at least trying to do the right thing.
playing the devils advocate here, I think you are sort of Rude (well at least your husband) what is it HIS business to pull over and yell at someone for doing what they are doing, I'm sure he would be pissy if someone yelles at him for something that was none of their business, really it is great if your choice for your children is to NEVER have them around somke but it really is none of your business to bitch about what someone else is doing.
I was never a smoker and never will be so yeah, it bothers me. I don't understand people who smoke - it's a waste of money and it STINKS. So when people smoke around my son I politely walk away with fantasies of carrying a mini-blower in my hand and blowing it right back into their faces to see how they like it. I'm still debating on whether or not I should make that fantasy into a reality. :)
@Gunnermom@xanga - The children dont always know to use their voice.They dont know the effects of second hand smoke. I feel sometimes there are things that ought not to be considered rude but rather an act of enlightening someone that their actions are harming more than just themselves.
@oogiesmom08@xanga - she wasnt saying smoking moms are selfish just for smoking.. but it IS a selfish act to smoke with your children around.have you not heard of effects from second hand smoke?
i agree that its wrong to smoke around your kids. but the way she said it she seemed to be putting herself above them, like shes never acted selfish at her children's expense before. Everyone has
@oogiesmom08@xanga - How do you stop being around people who smoke in public places? Or what about the people whose clothes reek of smoke? If you tried, you'd have to stay in your own house all day every day.
I'm selfish for wanting clean air, you're selfish for wanting to dirty up my air.
Smoking is disgusting. And I agree wholeheartedly
Smoking while pregnant or with one's children in the car speaks volumes about one's ignorance and total disregard for the heath of their children.
I have seen pregnant mothers light up, but I never said anything to them. I wish I had!
@august_has_fallen@xanga - I agree not everyone knows how to use their voice but would I be rude to say somethign like "you have no right to be in this country because your parents came here illegaly?" I know it is not the same subject matter but same Idea becasue it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS how, when or why they came here.
I hate when I see people smoking anywhere around their children. This includes what you've mentioned, also people in the car with their windows wide open, people pushing strollers or carrying their kids while smoking. I will call people out on it because they are killing their children and since those children are possibly going to have adverse health issues because of all that exposure, they are going to be a burden on the health care system, which is going to end up raising the cost of health care for everyone, including me and therefore, people smoking around their children is my business and it is my place to tell them to at least think about what they are doing. If I was sitting in the park, slowly spooning poison into my daughter's mouth, I would expect someone to say something.
"You're not just eating for two... you're breathing for two." That's a powerful statement, and a very true one. Even with all the anti-smoking ads all over the place (e.g. Truth campaign) these days, I think it's possible for some women not to realize the dangers of smoking (or drinking) while pregnant. If there is an opportunity, I don't think that it's rude to gently inform them that smoking has been proven to be harmful to a growing fetus. I have yet to see a pregnant woman smoking, so I'm not sure exactly what I would do in that situation. The ob/gyn I used to go to had information posted on the office walls, and my doctor also asked questions about smoking and drinking habits. I hope that all ob/gyn doctors are educating their patients about these things.
I don't smoke so it really does bother me when someone takes away a persons choices about what affects them. I absolutely could not tolerate seeing a pregnant woman smoking. I mean how ignorant is the person who willfully ignores the health and well-being of their soon to be child? I especially hate seeing obviously pregnant women drinking, I think that gets me more than anything. I was at the San Diego fair and this woman who already had a kid and pregnant with another was in the roped of beer garden chugging down a BudLight. I mean, I would almost be more worried about what people think of me while doing this than the effects it has on the unborn child. I can't understand what women think when they do these self destructive things.
I totally agree. I don't get angry at strangers, but last year my friend had a baby and we were with her at a parade, she was about three weeks old. This man walked by smoking, and blew it all over her. I mean here is this brand new little baby and it made me so mad that he did that. My little cousin comes home smelling like smoke all the time because her stepmom smokes, it makes me so mad!!
@oogiesmom08@xanga - even if she could be putting herself above them doesnt mean you should defend those who smoke their the ones poisoning up the place and if i'm right your probably a smoker yourself to even defend them with children its dangerous and havent you seen how most of em turn out when the parent WAS smoking? So i dont think you can even try to defend em cause most of the people who wanna stay clean have a problem with it so suck it up
When my aunt was pregnant with my younger cousin, she was one of those who smoked and would have perfect strangers come and lecture her for it. The thing is, she went from smoking a pack a day down to one and a half cigarettes in less than two weeks. It was a couple months after her son was born before she could quit completely.
Quitting smoking is extremely difficult especially as pregnant women do not have all the resources available to non-pregnant people such as the patch and gum due to their nicotine content. Was this ideal? No, but much less harm was done in the long run than if she had stayed with a pack a day. Before people should think they have a right to lecture strangers, maybe they should stop and think that perhaps that woman does know the danger and is trying to quit.
well then how bout learning to suck up the fact that youre never going to have the world smoke free so instead of bitching about it...suck it up!
I think that the whole thing about "minding your own business" is really stupid. This is a planet with billions and billions of people. If everyone minded their own business then we'd have a lot of lonely people. How do people interact? How do we show compassion for the unfortunate? Is it my business that the homeless guy is on the street? No. Does that necessarily mean I should leave him alone? No. Maybe he won't want my help, but at least I tried. If police officers minded their own businesses, we'd have many unsolved crimes going around. THEN it becomes your business. And then who do you blame? Everyone but YOURSELF. I'm not saying stalk people, but there's nothing wrong with talking with the person for a few short minutes and maybe it could change their life forever. If it doesn't work, at least you tried and you won't regret not helping that person.
Luckily I live in California where it is now illegal to smoke with kids in the car.
I once had a coworker who was pregnant with her 4th and smoked all the time (I would imagine around a pack a day). I once asked her about it and she said that she smoked when she was pregnant with her other three, and they all turned out fine, so she was going to with this one too. I was a bit baffled.
i don't think i would say anything.....that is their life and their business. i don't think it's right but you never know who you are talking to....they could easily pull out a gun and shoot you or run out of their car and beat your car with a bat or something crazy!! .....some people are insane and i would rather mind my own business when it comes to stuff like that.
it is quite disgusting when i see that.....they shouldn't have even had kids in the first place!
on another note.....i HATE smokers and have no respect for anyone who smokes.....too many awful experiences with it. (seeing and hearing about it to deaths of close people i know and am related to) i absolutely HATE IT.
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It really is disgusting. Smoking should be just one person's choice. I didn't know that anyone actually smoked while pregnant. I just thought it was something people used to do before they had the facts or something. What morons.
And Britney looks so trashy there.
@Gunnermom@xanga - as i said, sometimes things shouldnt be classified as rude. Questioning if someone belonged in the place they were living due to any reason is one thing, but speaking the truth in a situation when another persons life is being affected is another.