Tuesday, 26 August 2008
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How Can You Tell If Your Child Is Really Sick or Lying to Skip School?
by Mama Bee
Last Wednesday, I spent my morning feeling like the world's worst mother. It's not easy having kids. Keeping them alive is, but making sure they have a happy, blessed life isn’t. I try to be a great mommy and I must say 99% of the time, I know I'm doing what's right for my children and I know they are happy. That day, I was pushed to the edge by my younger son, J. It was day 3 of kindergarten. The first day was rough, as you all saw. There were tears, there were statements made that he knew would get to me (Mommy don’t you want me to come home with you? Mommy I just want to stay home with you. Mommy don’t leave me I will miss you.) Now, my oldest loves school. He is confident, smart, funny, and makes friends easily. J is hilarious (one of the funniest kids I've ever met) and he is smart and sweet and loving but he is very shy. He doesn’t put himself out there like his brother who is more outgoing than most. I knew he would have a harder time, especially because he is such a momma's boy. While C was in school all last year, it was J and I. This summer C went to camp with our church, it was J and I (and K was always there, too but you know what I mean). When the boys were invited to sleepovers or to go to their friends, J ate up the time C would go and he could have me to himself. I expected the first day to be hard. The second day though, it went so well. He had a blast. No tears and he walked in to class willingly. He came out all smiles and ran into my arms. He told me of all he did while there and how much he missed me. It made me feel good, though I missed him just as much if not more.
Wednesday morning I woke him up. “Come on J, it's time to get up” I looked at the clock. It was 6:37am. It was early, but I wanted to give room for them to be able to rest a little and not rush. I went into the kitchen and pulled out the eggs and milk, bread and cinnamon. 6:40am. He still wasn’t up so I went and laid down with him. “Honey,” I whisperered, “you need to get up." He rolled over and grunted. I went and woke his brother who gave me no issues doing so.
Finally, about 5 minutes later J woke up and was crying. “Is it too early, son?” I tried to have patience but my effort is failing quickly. He complained of a belly ache. I felt his head and he wasn’t warm. To make sure I took his temperature. 98.2 it read. No Fever. When I had him sit in the bathroom in case he threw up, he was playing. I know when he is sick. I'm his mommy, I've ALWAYS been able to know when he was sick. I called his Daddy to see if we should keep him home. We ultimately decided to send him to school. If he was sick, they would call. We figured he was just having a rough morning. I got him ready, made his lunch, and we were off. In the car he was fine. He was talking and laughing with his sister who sits right next to him. I figured all was well. The moment we parked and I was going to walk them up, he refused to unbuckle his seat belt. When his brother tried to he pushed his hand away and held tightly on to the belt. I got him out of the car and almost to his class door before he stopped walking and started pushing himself back. I tried to tell him he was going to have a good day and he just continued to say he didn’t want to go back. Therein lied the real issue. “It's boring mommy. Please can I go home with you?” He had tears streaming down his face one after another. I explained to him why he couldn’t and got his teacher to help me get him in. I ended up going into the classroom to put up his backpack and jacket up and left. He tried to come after me and was yelling “Mommy!” but his teacher stopped him and said he couldn’t leave. I waited in the office for 5 minutes, called the class and his teacher said he was fine.
A little while later, they called and said he was throwing up.
I walked in the office and there sat my little man.
I walked to his classroom with his teacher to get his backpack and lunch bag. “I'm so sorry” I said. “He complained once about his tummy and then he was crying that he didn’t want to come back so I figured that was the root of the problem.”
“I thought so, too. Don’t worry, I would have done the same thing” she reassures me. “I have done the same thing.” Her smile warms my guilt ridden belly. “There's a bug going around. Wash your hands and keep her (K) away just in case. They just told us (teachers) today to make sure all the kids are using antibacterial."
My son came home. He lay in bed, watching TV. His tears were no longer and he rested comfortably at home. My heart hurt.
How do/would you determine whether or not your child is really sick or just trying to get out of school?
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Comments (10)
I used to do something like the Grudge voice to convince my mom I had a really sore throat. It worked sometimes, though she might just have been tired of the school battles.
I think, mostly, it's an issue of whether you trust your kid or not. It's a little too early now, I think, being the very first week of school, but later, if he starts to complain about being sick all the time, and then is up and playing soon, he's probably just trying to get out of school.
I remember as a child that I would lie about being sick. I think it's a matter of always getting to the root of the problem and there won't be a reason to lie. Sometimes it's hard to tell, but it's important to give your self a little grace in these matters. My mom always believed me, I even learned a trick to make my temp higher when check by a thermometer. If the issues are addressed and delt with, children (in general) love school. And sometimes it's a thing you have to learn by experience. If it's a constant thing or there is a pattern, like it's every monday that the kids don't want to get up. Maybe they aren't getting enough sleep. I always noticed some kind of pattern with kids.
But this is coming from a kid without kids. But I've babysat a lot.
My parents use to the "No fun, while sick" theory That is, if I am home sick from school, I would therefor be too sick to play video games or go outside, or anything like that. Just lie in bed and watch TV.
@Crazy_Train_9000@xanga - I'm not even supposed to watch TV. Lay in bed mostly.
My mom would make me stay in bed the entire morning when I staid home sick. No books, no TV, just sleep or nothing till lunch. After lunch she would let me lay by the TV if I wanted. That was good motivation to not lie.
Well, I don't have children, but I would say as long as you were nice about it, you did the right thing. Too many mothers are complete pushovers who let their kids do the parenting. It was your call to make. Just because you guessed wrong does not make you a bad parent. I mean, you did not call your child a liar or yell at him, did you? Lots of kids pretend to be sick when they don't want to go to school. Personally, I always loved school and I never pretended to be sick, but not every kid is as nerdy as I was. :)
I've been foiled a few times by my kids complaining of being sick (I think they were just over tired when they got up) and then after the bus leaves they are magically back to their old selves. But being home sick (or "sick") from school means no video games or TV. You can lay down and nap, or lay down and read. They haven't tried to pull the sick thing in a while, and I'm usually pretty good at discerning really sick from just too tired.
I haven't ever really pretended to be sick; there was one time, though, when I wasn't quite finished with a project that was due the next day, and I actually happened to get a slight fever. So my mom decided to let me stay home. Then again, this was her idea, really, not mine, so I don't know that ir counts. :) And I did have a fever...
I don't know if I've ever really tried that one. I have however called in sick to work on ailments that were kind of borderline...
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