by Mama Fox
Most often it comes from nowhere. You can be sitting there breastfeeding your baby and watching TV, reading a book or even typing a blog. Then it hits. Your skin crawls, you go from content to pissed off, stress level sky rockets. You feel physically sick at the thought of anyone touching you. Touched out. You reach your quota and that's your breaking point.
Friday night was rough. Fox3 has started walking (YAY!) so he needs more comfort during this shift in independence. On top of that, he's transitioning from 2 naps to 1 and his night sleep is being effected. He was restless. He resisted sleep then when he did sleep, he woke often.
I spent 3 solid hours with him on my boob just so I could get some sleep, not that I got much. Saturday morning, he's grumpy from lack of sleep and as a result wants to comfort nurse for hours. My older boys, like most days, hug me, grab onto my legs, want to hold my hands. My husband wants to cuddle on the couch and spend some time with me while he's home. Then it happened. Fox3 pulled off, painfully to my now sore nipples, for the 150th time that hour. ARG! I set him down, walked out of the room and locked myself in the bathroom. Quota reached.
At first, Papa Fox was confused. The other times I had been touched out, he had been at work when it happened and I was back to normal when he returned home. He felt hurt that I didn't want a hug, didn't want anyone to touch me. He understood though and did what he could to give me space, kept the boys from bothering me. I spent a good chunk of the day sitting on our back porch just watching the trees. It was peaceful and rejuvenating. Saturday night went much smoother. Sunday morning, I felt 100% better.
It's okay to just be done with it, to want to be alone for a while. This is especially hard with a breastfed baby and the hormones involved. Regardless of how you feel, your baby needs to eat. Unless you pump and your baby will take bottles, YOU are their source of food. Growth spurts, illnesses and life changes tend to bring seemingly constant feeding. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. Plan for some alone time at least once a week. Better would be at least 5 minutes every day. Let Daddy handle bath time so you can go relax for a little bit. During nap time, if you can just sit and rest. The dishes/laundry/whatever can wait a little bit. Your emotional and mental health is more important.
Have you ever felt "touched out"? How did you cope?
Comments (10)
Yes!
After I was born, I'm a twin, my mother went through a period of two months where she would not let my dad touch her. My dad is a very sensitive guy,but he did understand and just waited until her emotions settled.
My wife is now pregnant with twins and even though she had zero problems with our first child I know things do not always come out the same. I'll be there for her just like my dad was for my mom.
We've got a little different situation in our household where my wife goes away to work during the day and I stay home with our little one. She doesn't admit it but I think the alone time at her office does her good. She watches our son during the weekends so daddy get's some alone time. :)
yes I do get touched out and it is daily, I got a 5 yr old that requires alot of attention from waking to going to bed, I also have a 3 yr old that doesnt require alot of attention but gets jealous.....then the spouse thats on a immaturity level less then the 5 yr old.
I do everything in this house and if i dont get to it today it will be there for me tomorrow or the next day cause no one but me does anything to help.
I really don't like to be touched PERIOD. My son is the only one I can turn the don't touch me feeling off for. When people touch me while I am nursing, I just want to run away.
Amen! I have moments like this all the time, but I have always detested being touched, so I hadn't noticed too much. But I shudder to think when my little can be more intentional about touching. Ew.
wow.....I only have 1 little person, she is 14 weeks old, and yes I have felt touched out, after those days of nonstop screaming and crying and all day nursing fests my husband walks in an the slightest touch sets me off and I feel so so so bad....and I try and explain, but he is like no no its ok, and I feel even worse..........
Great post
definitely.
I am so with you on this.
I have definitely felt like this. I usually just retreat to my bedroom to try to get a couple of minutes alone....and then the hubs will come in and lay by me. RAH!! Please just don't touch me right now!
It must be a part of the nursing thing. Am glad to hear i'm not the only one, was afraid I was a freak...