by babyfever25
I never really knew the importance of those three words until recently. Like stated in one of my previous blogs, I didn't grow up in the warmest of families. It was quite difficult, and even till this day, my family and I are not all that close. But when I started going away to college, things sort of changed.
I was never one to be open emotionally with my family because growing up, my parents hardly said "I love you" to me. As a matter of fact, I remember being jealous of my friends because their parents always tagged on an "I love you" after kissing, hugging, or waving them goodbye. Me? I just got a hug and a "Have fun but behave yourself" goodbye. Now, though, things are slightly different. I don't know if it's because I go away to college, but I think my parents and I caught the "I love you" fever. Ever since then, we've been a lot closer.
The reason why I'm sharing this is because those three words are often taken for granted. I truly feel blessed and happy that I'm able to tell my parents that I love them, and vice-versa. One of my roommates actually told me that no one in her family says "I love you," or is even affectionate with one another because it is "assumed." How crazy is that?
How often do you tell your children that you love them? Were your parents affectionate with you when you were growing up?
Comments (44)
I felt the EXACT same way you did, and it all changed when I went away to college.
My husband and I even talked about how we're gonna hug, kiss and tell our kids we love them all the time everyday, no matter how embarassed they get!
I tell my husband I love him, even though he knows, so why shouldn't I tell my kids. They're never gonna wonder!
my family is the same. i have trouble saying I love you to anyone these days. I need to break the habit.
We say I love you about a million times a day in our house. My parents didn't say it THAT often when we were growing up but often enough.
It's easier to tell my family I love them now that I live 800 miles away! We've always been an affectionate family though. My parents always held hands and kissed in front of us, we always hugged or got night-night kisses, stuff like that. But saying those three words was kinda weird for some reason. It was usually a passing "love ya" if anything. Now it's easier.
With my husband, we say it constantly. Several times a day. Everytime he's leaving, when we hang up the phone, in bed at night and usually at random times during the day. We are always very affectionate too (husbands family was not very physically affectionate). We plan on being very loving when our daughter gets here, and I hope she is raised with hearing "I love you" every single day - not just "goodnight, love ya, go to sleep..." With my husband, we can't do anything without holding hands or somehow touching each other. I thought it would fade over time, but we've been married over 3 years and we're just as touchy now (if not more so!). We're kind of one of those sickening couples who always look happy...and we like that!!
Sometimes I think we over use those three words we say them so much!!!!
Our daughter is 10 months old and she says "I love you" to any toy that has a face....It's cute, but I wonder if we say it too much and it makes her not understand the meaning!
Can someone say "I love you" TOO much?
I guess for me, when there is silence and my husband tells me and then 5 minutes later he says it again just to fill the silence, I don't know, I guess I wonder if he is just saying it, or if he means it in that moment...or if its just an automatice phrase...
I guess I'de raather we over use it, then it not be said enough!
I never heard it enough growing up. It is still weird to say 'I love you' to anyone in my family. But with my husband, it is constant! I plan on making sure my kids hear that I love them, even if they 'already know'
I wish my parents said it more...it feels like they don't even care.
I came from a very loving family. I grew up with lots of hugs, kisses, and I love you's.Â
Even today I constantly repeat it to my little 18 month old in the hope that she'll be able to form those three words and repeat them back to me. Not to mention all the hugs and kisses she gets, that's one thing she won't be able to ever say about me, that I didn't love her enough.My mom is exactly like that! (and here I thought I came from the only weird family) Dad doesn't say he loves me, except in emails, but we have a closer bond so that makes up for it.
I say it to our kids much more often than my husband does, I mean he "says"even to me but most of the time it is like a responce not a meant thing you know? But I grew up where it was lawyas said hugs and kisses and "atta boys" were very common between all of us no one ever really was left out of the praise by our parents (there were six of us) my husband on the other hand was the screw up and the one always in trouble at school and at home and his family even to this day are not very into each other, my family and I talk all the time just to see how everyone is doing my dad calls EVERY Saturday or Sunday, his family calls when they want or need something, it is sad really but sort of gettign better as people are getting older and having kids or their own. He shows the kids that he loves them all the time though and he does say it to them but his big thing is making sure they know he is proud of them for not only winnign the game but learning how to read and tryign their best even if that is not the best in the world it was their best he makes sure they know that he is proud of them helpign others and things like that, things that were enver said to him untill now (litteraly) and things that are importnant in that father son relationship he even has little tea and cookie parties with his daughter who is almost 2 it is really funny because he is so much bigger than her and she is so cute with him but he is 6'1" 220lbs having "tea" with a 22lbs 1 1/2 year old it is really funny to watch but in a very nice way.
Growing up my family said it regularly, but not a ton. My husband and I tell each other "I love you" at least a dozen times a day.
And we tell our daughter "I love you" constantly as well. It doesn't matter if it's assumed, it can't hurt to be reminded! 
We say "I love you" to our 4 month old every night before we go to bed. Rather, my husband says it and reminds me to say it. When I drop him off at the sitters, I say "I love you".
My husband and I say "I love you" to each other all the time.
My parents never said it to me or my siblings. They didn't even say it to each other. They never showed affection or anything. My husband's parents were the same - maybe it's a cultural thing? I guess that's why me and my husband say it - because we were denied that from our parents.
I noticed that recently, or fairly recently too over the past few years.
My family doesn't really throw the "I love you" phrase around because it is assumed that we all care about each other- in fact, I think it would be "weird" to say that to my mom. These words are usually told to me usually only on two occasions, 1: when I have done something my mom is proud of, and she knows I sacrificed a lot to achieve it; or 2: when there may have been tension between my mom and I, and so she'll resolve things by giving me a talk and then ending it with an "I love you". Other than that, we don't trade hugs are kisses that often.
..And I thought that was completely normal, until I met a friend who's very close with her family, especially her mom. In part, I think it was a cultural thing. But she would hug her mom everyday and greet each other with a hug. She's a very close friend of mine, so even now, I get a part in the hugging when I see them. The first few times, I was sort of shocked, but now I find it fairly normal to greet my friends with a hug.
It's just a family/cultural thing :)
Growing up we said I love you all the time. It was a natural phrase at the end of a phone conversation or when we were parting. Every morning it was "Goodbye, love you". My mom has gotten worse now that I'm on my own. She seriously says it 2-3 times before we hang up. It drives me crazy but I know it means something to her to make sure I know it.
With my boyfriend we say it to each other at random moments. I try to always say it if one of us is leaving without the other. Some of the sweetest moments is when he comes to bed after me and whispers it. I just melt :)
We joke with it too.
Me: Getting up to grab something from the other room
Him: Blurts out "I love you..."
Me: "Glass of water?"
Him: " Please" (big goofy grin)
Cracks me up every time.
You know, it took me a few months before the words "I love you" would come in a spontaneous and honest manner towards my son. Now I say them to him every time I put him down for a nap or bedtime, if not more often.
I got the same kind of treatment as you, as far as parental warmth and stuff. Mine though still don't say "I love you" to me, though I stayed at home while I was going to college. I hope when I move out, they start appreciating me more.
In most Chinese families (when I was growing up), parents usually aren't affectionate with their children at all. My parents have never said "I love you" to me before, but I surely knew they did...more than I think most parents who said those 3 words to their children. I tell my daughter I love her everyday. I try to tell Hubby I love him everyday too, even if we had a disagreement, etc.....we still love each other even if we didn't really like each other at that moment. That's important for kids to see their parents loving each other too.
I feel you that it must have felt like something was missing when your parents never told you those words. Did they show you and treat with love and respect though? Reason being as they say actions speak louder than words, I know it would probably suck going through life rarely hearing the words "I Love You" from the people that gave birth to you and brought you into this world, and raised you. But deep down do you know that they do love you? Maybe thats better than say a parent who says those words all the time but treat you like shit and is never there for you, so that those words mean nothing and are empty in contrast....something to think on
My parents say I love you so much...I've never felt unloved or anything. Text messages, goodbyes, or just randomly. There's no lack of the term of endearment
I have a hard time saying "I love you". After maybe the age of 4 or so, I stopped saying it and got uncomfortable when people said it to me. I'm still the same way... I can count on one hand the number of times I've said "I love you". I know exactly how many times I've said it and to whom. But I've never said any of those "i love you"s out loud... they've all been in writing... I'll probably be different by the time I have kids though... I think... so yep... that's me...
It's the same in my family. We don't say "I love you" or hug or kiss each other goodnight. My parents hardly express affection in any other form than taking care of us when we're sick and buying us things and cooking for us.
I am big on saying I love you... I do it A LOT... I worry that it may be too much... But really, How can it be too much? lol
I, too, grew up in a not so loving family, so I don't know how often it should be used. :/
I don't want to have kids for quite a while, but saying "I love you" always has been and always will be very important to me. The way I see it, something could happen to someone you love (your mother, your grandpa, your cousin, your serious love/fiance, etc) at any time. Things happen. Even if we had been fighting the day before something bad comes along, I want to at least know that the last thing I said to them was that I love them.
So, when ever a family member and I part ways, even if it's just to go to work or get off the phone, "I love you" must be said. I don't feel right if it isn't. If I'm on the phone with my boyfriend and I have to go in a hurry, there's still time for "I love you." If we get mad at each other and even hang up on each other, I will always call him back to tell him I love him.
I want my family and my love to always know, and to never part ways without hearing it.
That being said, it also bothers me that people use the word "love" so carelessly. It's not something that should be thrown around jokingly to your friends. Love is more important than this.