Monday, 11 August 2008
-
John Edwards Scandal: Why Risk It All for Sex?
So there goes another politician blowing all his chances of ever becoming the president, or to be taken seriously ever again, just for a quick roll in the hay. I would have liked to say that I was surprised to hear John Edwards' affair but I was not. It's not because I thought he'd cheat on his wife in the midst of the presidential campaign, but because there have been too many precedences of stupid politicians who cannot keep their pants on long enough.
No, I am not against sex. I am, however, befuddled by the thoughtless impulsive immediate-gratification-seeking self-destructive kind of sex. What possesses one to act in such an irrational way when everything he ever cares for is at stake? The thrill of being naughty propels one to act on his impulses? Not enough action at home makes one's thinking part of brain turn into jell-o? No amount of reasons or excuses can justify one's cheating heart when there are so many things one can do to avoid it. Take a cold shower when you feel like you can't resist temptation anymore. Go for a jog. Read a book. Swim laps in the pool. Talk to your wife or husband. Take up boxing or martial arts and kick or punch the crap out of that sand bag. Or, perhaps most effective, blog about your roving eyes and wandering heart to get it out of the system. Bottom line is that you can choose to do what you need to do if you truly care about your long term goal so that months later, you won't end up on Jerry Springer's "Baby's Daddy Show."
Me? I guess I am too lazy and unmotivated to lead a double life. Hell, I am barely catching my breath trying to lead one life at a time, let alone two lives. Just the thought of all that lying, sneaking around, covering your tracks makes my head spin. I am not exactly condemning people who are more motivated in this aspect than I am. And I am sure that it is easier said than done - just look at the long lists of scandals and betrayals in human history. Democrats, Republicans, Priests, teachers, senators, congressmen, your next door neighbor, and some of my co-workers all have done it. They are all guilty of eating the slices of forbidden fruit and paid for it dearly with the loss of their jobs, homes, lives, and dreams.
People will say "I'm sorry" later on to their wives, husbands, and human resource managers when they get caught. They'd say, " I didn't mean to hurt you," but the damage would be irreparable by then. I can understand if you are wanting an out of your relationship or if your relationship is towards the end and you don't care if your mate finds out (but wouldn't it be easier to just end your relationship with integrity still intact?). But I can't fathom this kind of recklessness that makes one risk everything for some meaningless sex. Sure, everyone has his or her moment of "the hell with it" from time to time, but as we get older and things we care about accumulate, we are supposed to become more cautious, calculating and wiser. So, then what's up with all these scandals and heartaches? Seeing someone making avoidable mistakes does not deter us from following in the same treacherous paths. Knowing all we will lose, we still go for it, as if we never manage to kill that impulse of a child who sneaks in to get that forbidden cookie out of the jar.
Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes, said John Lennon. Surely, all this sorry business will get real old real soon. But this was also someone who imagined all the people living for today, so who am I to question him. Maybe we all can use some of the spirit of living for the moment. Now, living for today without hurting yourself or your loved one-- that's the tricky process.What do you think drives someone to cheat on his or her spouse? How can it be avoided?
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (36)
Actually, what surprised me most about this situation is the timing of the affair. It was after his wife was declared to be in remission. I could almost understand why a guy would be having an affair if he thinks is wife has a terminal illness, but surely not when he's just gotten her "back from the dead," so to speak. Considering the circumstances, I'd have spent every day for the next year just loving my wife, sitting with her, talking to her, whatever. If you can receive such great news about your wife's health and then go out for an evening tryst without her, I don't really understand how your marriage is salvageable.
Bill Maher was in town and I went and saw one of his live comedy acts on Friday nights. He always does very funny pieces about this topic. He of course took advantage of the John Edwards news to bring it up again. He basically said "Ladies, I know you don't get this. I know you over-analyze it everytime it happens. It frustrates you. It perplexes you. You have to think of it like this: Why do you buy new shoes? You don't NEED shoes. There is nothing wrong with the shoes you have. Yet you insist on continually getting NEW shoes." It is not going to be funny written out....it fact, I see that it is not. But it was actually quite hilarous at the time (See? Jokes really ARE all in the delivery!) Anyway, his point was: women don't get it, stop trying to figure it out. Honestly, I don't get....so I tend to believe him and have stopped trying.
@NurseJenna - Men want "new" women like women want new shoes? lol
I really think that this type of information is a complete waste of time. What he did in his personal life is his and his family's business. And I'm sure everyone says; ya but he's a public figure and he can suffer the consequences. I could care less about the cheater scum bag. But it's the wife, the kids, the parents etc. I think it would be much better to focus on the politics.
But then again, America loves a good scandal.
@mayemay3@xanga - I agree. I can think of a million other things in the world that need the attention the media has given John Edwards. What about that case where social services forged documentation of checking up on this girl who died a terrible slow and painful death? Why isn't that plastered all over the news?
But I digress...
@trinity_heart@xanga - It's crazy the crap that the media will put all over the news and web. But just brush aside the really important issues that people should know about!
.@trinity_heart@xanga - Or the WAR between Russia and Georgia?
But nah. Edwards is DEFINITELY more important than a horrible war.
@newdaddy - He actually cheated a while ago and told his wife soon after. It's just now becoming public.
Personally, I think we need to leave it alone. It happened and they are dealing with it in the way that is right for them. We don't need to be discussing their personal lives, especially since we do not actually know these people. I would still vote for him as president.
@TornadoChaser - I wouldn't vote for him for president, but that's another story, and has nothign to do with this tidbit.
the article I read on the thing said the affair occured shortly after his wife was pronounce "in remission." I think it was a several years ago, and is coming out now because the chick is saying she had his baby. Personally, I'm tired of hearing about different public officials and who they've slept with. Honestly, I wouldn't be calling for these individuals resignations, and if Edwards wants to stay senator (is he still a senator?) I'd be fine with that.
I assume he did it because, well, John Edwards is just basically a horrible person in general, but I suppose most everyone else does it because they're complete idiots.
More like, why would ANY guy want to ruin a good thing that they already have going on? It doesn't matter if the guy is a political figure, a typical celebrity, or just a random joe.
@mayemay3@xanga - I totally agree.
I have to agree with Nurse Jenna on this one. I don't even think guys know why they do it and really, what's the point of knowing why anyhow? Is it stupid? Yes, along with rude, inconsiderate, hurtful, cruel, just plain wrong, and a bunch of other words. I don't think that knowing why it happens will stop it from happening, there are plenty of men and women who cheat and later will say their partner did absolutely nothing wrong and there was nothing they could have done that would have stopped the affair. It's really a very sad and pathetic thing.
people are complicated. life and morality is not black and white, no matter how much people want it to be. does that mean i condone chronic cheating? no. but people make mistakes. sex is natural. sex as social taboo is not.
incidentally, only three out of all of our presidents did NOT have a mistress or an affair.
...to all the commenters here: What about the real idea the extremely articulate author was putting to us? Do you cheat? Would you think it's WORTH it? EVER? John Edwards, whether we like him or not, wasn't really the issue here. But since everyone wants to comment on him, the fact is he did it. If a person is willing to cheat on his spouse with so much resting on it, how much more 'liberties' would he be willing to take with the control of our country? How much else would he be able to justify?? Why people don't get this simple cause and effect is completely beyond me. No adultry isn't politics. But it done have to do with INTEGRETY! Does this word mean nothing to people anymore?? Integrity gives one the moral imparative to keep on the straight and narrow; both personally AND politically.
That said, I was really impressed with the author's candor and ability to articulate her thought. Anyone coming under the pressure of temptation to either, a) have an affair, or b) seduce a married individual should seriously think about the things she mentioned.
@NurseJenna - Sure. Sex may be easier for men to (at least temporarily) compartmentalize from the rest of their lives and feelings but I think we as a culture WAY over generalize this fact and pretend sex is pretty much meaningless to men. This has very little fact behind it and shows a very poor understanding of men in general. It makes for a funny joke but the the truth is women have affairs just as much, (or very nearly) as men do. (I need to pull out some statistics to support this...)
None of us are imune to the temptation to cheat. I think that was the authors point. And the consequences catch up with us whether we are male or female! It's what we do with the temptation that really shows our character and, I think, show our ability to lead or not! Good article!
@trulytaken@xanga - you brought up a great point that i was going to address. just this past weekend, i was talking to a friend who told me about two of her friends who got divorced at a young age because their WIVES cheated on them. it goes both ways, for sure.
i think a good majority of married couples go through times when they feel bored, tired, or frustrated in their marriage. meeting a very interesting person during these sensitive times could result in a temptation too strong to resist. just like you wouldn't let a child play with matches, i think it's wise to avoid doing things or going to places that might bring on these "what ifs." i once heard about a man who did not allow other women to sit in the passenger seat of his car (if he had to give someone a ride), and i thought that was a really smart move.
It's terrible and I would not have an easy time voting for him after that. I supported him in 2000 and am mad to hear about the cheating. On the other hand, McCain, Guiliani and Gingrich went on to have fabulous political careers following affairs and they divorced their wives for the other woman. They did not pay a price at all.
Human nature drives us to cheat. The solution is to not get married or get trapped into any kind of long-term relationship to begin with.
@trulytaken@xanga - Are you a man or a woman? I don't pretend to understand men is my point. It is hard enough to figure out any ONE man in particular....let alone the whole gender. Perhaps you have a better grasp?
@trulytaken@xanga - I am a man and I have to agree with nurse Jenna on this one.....I like new shoes :) (Lots actually) Sorry, just being honest.
With politicians and celebs, I think a lot of it is a power trip and a big head. No pun intended.
I had not heard of Edwards' affair. That's sad. But I agree that many people have had affairs and have gone on to be great leaders. (Bill Clinton comes to mind...but I swear that's just a political marriage anyway)
I'm not married, but I was engaged, and even for the short time in the middle when we took a break I was not tempted to cheat. I have a married friend who will NOT stop asking me to cheat with him. You took a vow. You knew what you were getting into. You knew your sex drive was high. Don't ask me to cheat with you, I have morals. And if it's not cheating it's asking me to talk dirty or to send dirty pictures. That's still cheating! Ugh, I'll never understand it!!
Giving into temptation is what does it......and temptation abounds in many ways, shapes, sizes, and looks! The way to avoid it os to rely on God, first, and second, DECIDE that you will remain true to the promises you've given your husband or wife. If one does those two, it will make the chances of flinging fall drastically....
You people act like John Edwards was the first man to ever cheat on his wife, lie to people or whatever. This like any other affair, is between the cheater, the spouse, and whatever god they choose to serve. This has nothing to do with the way he does his job. The people who have bad stuff to say acts like he's the president of the united states. lol
@NurseJenna - But why do we assume they are all that different?? Do you assume you understand "women" as a whole gender? or do you just try to understand them each as an individual? Honestly, I'm not attacking your comment here. In the context of the joke I get that it was funny. I really do. It's just when related it to the discussion at hand that I think we should stop laughing for a moment and examine what we are assuming here. What the underlying falacy we are taking as serious is. I don't like it when my husband over generalizes my sex! Maybe that simply by virtue of being female I am, therefore, irrational, obsessive, and incapable of certain things. Isn't this what the women's rights movement was fought over? Why now would we then turn around and do the same thing to men? Certain rights are there for a men and women alike! To start placing issues of morality as "female" (i.e. not cheaters) and "male" (i.e. CHEATERS) and then just act like it's all ok just moves the whole conversation into the victorian era again!!
@dchavez12@xanga - And I'm sorry. Not trying to take all this personally but, shoes? honestly? Shoes never hurt anyone except maybe some pocketbooks! If you are single, more power to ya... but did ya hear @sadlypoetic@xanga - above? We married/committed women are tired of being hit on! And if you are married, leave the ladies alone!! You've got one that should keep your hands pretty full! If not, like the author said, "you need a hobby!!"