Tuesday, 12 August 2008
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Embracing Reality: What If This Is Really It?
Human beings cannot handle too much reality. Today, during my commute, I heard that phrase or something similar to that while I was listening to the audio book of "Brother Odd" by Dean Koontz. I don't know about others, but that is so true for me. In fact, this seems to be the code that I consistently follow all throughout my life.
Reality: do we need to honor it, really? What's so great about it? Oprah often says on her show to honor your truth. But if you don't like the truth, should you still honor it? Wouldn't you be better off denying your truth? If you are a superstar with a zillion dollars in the bank and speaking your name out loud alone will make the crowd wild with enthusiasm, sure, honoring your truth is a lot easier. But if you are an average person with an average face, a short frame, an okay-job, and an okay-life, whose only talent seems to be sitting in front of the computer for a prolonged period of time, honoring your truth is not that easy.
"I've been thinking that maybe I should go for MBA" I said to my friend recently, all the while knowing I am not the business type. "What about the master degree in clinical research?" I added, "but I don't like to draw blood. I thought about Genetic Epidemiology, but I really hate statistics so that probably won't work either,"
"What are you looking for?" she said and added, " You think there is something better waiting for you out there, but what if there isn't? What if this is as good as it gets?"
"You're going to bring me down, aren't you?" I tried to joke in a weak voice.
"You have a good job. Embrace your life. Embrace your reality," she said in her usual no-nonsense tone.
"So, this is it? Another ten years of doing the same thing without looking for something else? This is all that my life is supposed to be?" At this point, I was starting to feel panic rising up in my throat.
What if this is really it? Maybe I should just accept it. Maybe I know in my heart, there is nothing better out there. Maybe I should not search for something better because this is my life and I should accept it and embrace with open arms. But I just could not shake the feeling that if I don't try to find out if there is something else out there for me, I'd live to regret it.
I wonder if anyone else feel the same restlessness as I do. Or maybe you have to settle down with a stable job and have a stable family life before you start to feel unsettled. Maybe all these new jobs sound good because I have not tried them yet. Once I get into them, I'd quickly become bored with them too. Other people deal with mid-life-crisis by buying a Porsche or getting several piercings. I deal with it by consuming massive amount of chocolate and flipping through the several graduate school catalogs. Whatever works, I guess.Do you ever wonder if "this is as good as it gets"? What do you do when you feel restless about life and/or work?
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Comments (6)
Great post - it got alot stirring in my mind.
Nature usually calms me. When I feel restless about life I either go for a hike to train capoeira and then talk about it with my husband or my friends. I learned very early in life to embrace the little goals as much as the big goals. Like doing a headstand before a handstand, a cartwheel before a flip - some college before graduating college, etc.
I think we do too much and expect too much from ourselves and each other. I think specifically in the USA our capitalism makes us self centered and psychotic and shifts our priorities. Then again, I guess it's better to have a goal and push forward then do nothing. My question would be - where's the balance in all of this?
ive thought about this, too, but come to a slightly different conclusion.
this doesnt HAVE to be it. no matter where you are in life, or how old you are. our "dream" can be "reality", and at the very least, if you dont try, how will you know? people have the ability to change their situation, its a matter of how badly do you want it.
i say, try not to regret things while going through this life, and when i say this i mean, those BIG what-ifs. do what you love, and be happy, even if it may not yeild the largest of incomes or the greatest of fame.
and those certain, possible careers you mentioned in your post. there will always be things in a job that will be tedious and will suck. haha
what a great post :)
This kind of post is what makes me glad that I am pursuing my dream right now - why I am attending a music conservatory in the fall as an eighteen-year-old.
3 What profit has a man from all his labor In which he toils under the sun? 4 One generation passes away, and another generation comes; But the earth abides forever. 5 The sun also rises, and the sun goes down, And hastens to the place where it arose. 6 The wind goes toward the south, And turns around to the north; The wind whirls about continually, And comes again on its circuit. 7 All the rivers run into the sea, Yet the sea is not full; To the place from which the rivers come, There they return again. 8 All things are full of labor; Man cannot express it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor the ear filled with hearing. 9 That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun. 10 Is there anything of which it may be said,
“ See, this is new”? It has already been in ancient times before us. 11 There is no remembrance of former things, Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come By those who will come after.
This old verse I think reflects your situation. He was a king who had everything, God allowed Him every good (and bad) thing he desired... money power (he attained unimaginable wealth, achievements in building buildings, and on top of that he was said to be very famous in his day for his wealth of wisdom.
God gave him these things to show him the futility in pursuing them... and even the pursuit of them did not bring him a lasting joy... it was vanity. I've also seen the Greek word here that was translated to vanity to be more accurately translated as: frustration.
God has purposely made the works of man and all that he does, frustrated. So, that we might see their futility and turn to God for our completion. That one thing that truly satisfies the heart.
Heh, at the risk of sounding cliche'. Jesus Christ (not the hokey version some people try to push off) the Son of God, in His person is the satisfaction of life and the very nature of God. To be close to Christ, is to be near God Himself and in him we are truly satisfied... apart from our pursuits and apart from our possessions.
If i've been confusing at any point.. I'd be glad to clarify if I can :) If your curious about what I mean by being close to God or have any comments to send my way please feel free to msg me.
Good luck out there... and thanks for posting! and allowing us to respond :)
stephen k.
I think you're talking about very different things here. It's important to embrace "reality." Otherwise you're living in a fantasy world, and I don't see how that's a good life. Americans as a nation ignore reality all too often, and all it leads to is us ignoring key important issues worldwide, and thus we're just passing the buck to the next generation while we sit on our asses and wait to see just how many kids Angie and Brad are gonna have.
But what you're talking about in the second part of your post, is about settling for what you have vs having higher aspirations. If you want more out of life, then go out and try to get it. Who says you have to settle for something you're not happy with? I don't think that's "ignoring reality." Instead it's having ambition and going after your dreams (something that's an excellent lesson to model for your kids!).
I have a sister who's a single mom to a 5 year old. She's been in debt up to her ears for years. She last worked at a car insurance company. What's she doing right now? She's in her 2nd year of law school, and making a much better life for herself and her daughter. Many people would have called her crazy (and some probably did). But she stuck to her guns and went for it, and is doing great.