by Mama Hippo
A few months back I read the book
Diaper-Free Before Three. It advocates
early potty training, basically that you can introduce a potty chair much sooner than most parents realize (as early as 6 months). You look for patterns to your child's peeing and pooping and you sit them on the potty at about those times. The first "successes" by the child will be random, but the idea is that eventually they start catching on on their own and that you can have a fully potty-trained child by about 2 yrs old, as opposed to waiting till 2-3+ years old to even start (as is common place in the US today).
There are many things about this method that intrigue me. For example, that this "new" and "alternative" method used to be the norm up until about 30-50 years ago, and still is in much of the rest of the world. The book cites all sorts of research that shows that this earlier potty training may actually be better for little children's development, and how there has never been any research to show that waiting for "readiness signs" as is popular today works better at all. I also like that it gives the child independence from diapers, and a parent needing to change them, at an earlier age (how Montessori, right?), along with the idea of using fewer diapers overall over the course of the child's life (fewer diapers for the landfills!).
Unfortunately I'm starting to wonder how well this would work for D. It seems to work best for children whose bodies are naturally more regular, something that D has not shown to be. Even now at 6 months of age he has yet to form much of an eating schedule-- he eats anywhere from every 2-3+ hours throughout the day, with that pattern changing from one day to the next and as the day goes on. Be cause his eating is not regular yet, his peeing and pooping don't seem to be at all regular, either. He has yet to develop a napping schedule, waking for 1-2 hours at a tome before needing to nap (for 30-45 minutes at a time). Even his night sleep still changes from one week to the next (last week he was sleeping from 7-8 pm through till 4-5am, then the past few days started waking at 1-2am again).
I guess I don't really know how common this is for a 6 month old, but certainly from what I read most of these things tend to "settle" in babies by this time. I'm figuring D may just be one of those kids whose bodies aren't as regular as others. So I think I'll hold off a bit on the potty-introducing. Maybe after the move I'll think about it. I do like the idea of just introducing a potty chair and having him sit in it for a few minutes a day, even if there's no actual "pottying" going on in it but just to get him used to it . So I guess in a few months I might try it, and then follow his lead as to how interested and open he seems to the whole idea.
What age did you start potty-training your child? What are some of the challenges you faced?
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Comments (27)
We bought my son a potty chair at 18 months. He was never really interested in it, though, and when he started going in the potty, he wanted to use the big potty, not the little one. The main problem we ran into was that he just wasn't ready. And I didn't see any reason to rush it....so we backed off for a while. He is now pretty much completely daytime trained - and it happened because he decided he was ready to do it, not because we forced him.
You know, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink? Well, you can lead a child to the potty but you can't make them go!
I don't think 6 months is a good idea. By 6 months my baby was still learning how to sit up properly! But I am no expert or anything. Well, that is my view on *that* lol Actually I think you know best.
My daughter started taking off her nappy a few minutes before she does ''her business'' and that to me is a sign of readiness. She is 19 months though! I think she will still be fully trained by the age of 2. With the boys, they were trained at around 3 and they learnt quickly. As I said, I just think it all depends on the kid.
As far as being "regular" goes, there are very few people who poop or pee at exactly the same time everyday, but there are some common time-frames that you can use as a guideline, such as most children (and adults actually) have to pee shortly after waking and about 20 minutes after eating and drinking. But at six months of age, you don't need to be in any hurry to have him potty-trained. No matter what age you start, it's going to take time and it does depend on the child, some kids will take to it right away and others will struggle. As much I would rather be doing something else instead of changing a diaper, it's just another reminder that my baby does need me, try as hard as she may to be independent.
Alex got his potty at 13months and is now 15months and comes to me and pulls on his diaper when he "has to go"...hes still learning and sometimes he doesnt really have to go but he has been going pee in his potty in the mornings and sometimes during the day. :)
My sisters neice was potty trained by about 18 months - because she was interested. But she had a lot of accidents for about 6 months. Her mom said that if she had to do it again, she would wait longer. It is possible for them to be potty trained too early - when they arent really ready. But that is different for each kid!
My nephew knew when he had to go. He just didnt want to use the potty. About 1 1/2 weeks ago, he decided he wanted to (because he wanted the toy he was promised - it had been sitting on his shelf where he could see it for months!). He is doing really well. It has been pretty painless. He will be 3 years on August 16th.
I also read that book and loved it! I wish I would have started working with my son earlier. My grandmother had 4 daughters, and all of them were potty trained by their first birthdays! She always put them on the potty when she changed their diapers, from about 6 months on up, and they got the idea really quicky. Consistency is key, and that was my problem. I was unable to be as consistent as I should have been. My son was 2 1/2 when he was trained, and he picked it up so quickly. He only had a few accidents the first few days, and then was good to go! good luck!
I would love to read that book. My daughter, 11 mo, doesn't have a super regular schedule either as far as eating or napping is concerned or pooping either! The only way I know is that she pauses at whatever she's doing to push it out. I guess I could try just putting her on the toilet and see what happens! When I do finally decide to go ahead with training though, I'd like to not use a baby chair, just the big toilet with the smaller seat, only because of the inconsistency with traveling out of the house and away from the little potty and because I hate cleaning those things! The small seat is small enough that I could carry it around with us if we really wanted to!
My first one trained at 2, my second one at 18 months. My third one I used elimination communication on and he was trained in a week at 9 months. I then used elimination communication with my 4th from birth and she never wore a diaper. At 3 months she was pretty much completely dry, she would always tell me, it was a matter on if I paid attention or not.At 6 months she was crawling and would go to her potty chair and sit on it. She never wore a regular diaper. I would do it again if I had another baby!
All of mine were potty trained between 18 months and 24 months. I used cloth diapers, which helps, and never used a potty chair. I did have one of thos eseats that fitted over the regular potty and sometimes used that.
We also used the "nakie" method. A week or two at home with no bottoms on so they could run and get there quickly with no accidents.
The funniest moment (not at the time, but looking back) was when my 22 month old after seeing a potty chair at a friends house confused the scanner in our "study" for one and pooped on it. A real baby book moment!
My youngest had the most accidents because by the time she was born the others were in swimming and dance and had playgroups and such and we were always far from a potty or in the car in CA traffic 2 miles and 30min from home!
My cousin got away with not changing a poop diaper on her oldest since he was 9 months. She'd noticed when we was being quite and making certain faces and would put him on the potty then. She couldn't, however, duplicate it with her second son who loved to kick when you were changing his poop diapers all the way up until he was 3 1/2. Proof that every child is drastically different.
Proof that experts agree on nothing? I'd read about findings that starting your child too early (I think before 2 years) can lead to delays in potty training. It really just figuring out what's right for you and yours.
I've had 4 boys. They've all potty trained sometime after 2 to around 2 1/2 so far.
You want to know what ALSO sometimes also contributes to early potty learning and few diapers in the landfills? Cloth diapers. Part of the problem with disposable diapers is that the babies never feel wet, and a lot of the time parents get lazy. I know that when we are out, and away from home that I check far less frequently because I KNOW the babe is in a disposable, and I don't NEED to catch it and change him as quickly.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Edited to add:
DARN! Someone beat me to the cloth can sometimes = quicker potty learning punch line!
I think every kid is different in this respect. I was toilet trained by 2, my sister was still in pull ups until about 3 1/2.
Having no kids of my own, however, I can't really be a judge of methods.
I don't have a child of my own but have cared for countless over the course of my life. Having lived with my sis-in-law (while my brother was overseas) and their three children, I learned a significant amount more than women without children are generally able to . From my interactions and academic studies in nursing, I feel I've gained valuable insight. Though I haven't been around any child throughout their infancy and into their toddler years, I am confident that my advice is relatively sound.
From what I've experienced, you have to begin to regulate a child's eating habits before you can even consider getting their unmentionables on a time-table. Additionally, caretakers should always consult the child's pediatrician and use their best judgement regarding when this is fitting for each child since this can vary greatly. Although "POTTY-TRAINED BY TWO" would probably earn both you and your child bragging rights in the pre-school community, if one of your main concerns is filling landfills then you can always opt for cloth diapers since they're washable (hence reusable) and use those until D is ready to ditch diapers.
I hope this helped. ~FK~
We were intrigued by the infant potty training as well - there have been many success stories, and those who don't think it is possible are simply stuck in the mindset that it is "normal" for a baby to sit in a soiled diaper. The United States is just about the only country that doesn't potty train early! We started our daughter just a month ago when she was 4 months old. She has only had 3 dirty diapers in the past month, all other poos have been on her chair. She does 6 to 8 potties a day on her chair. She will sometimes tug on her diaper (yes at 4-5 months!), other times she will cry, or if she shivers we know it is almost a guarantee that she needs to go. We do "part time" IPT, with a combination of cloth all in ones and disposables. We are not strict about it, but it can't possibly hurt and she would much rather go on her chair than sit in a soggy diaper :) I'd encourage you to try it with an open mind and not feel like it isn't working/worth it if it doesn't go as planned. No harm, no foul and if it works, even better!
I was just talking to a friend about that because she visited and saw the potty seat in our bathroom. We're getting it from both sides. My sister's SIL is from a village in China and she was so amazed that my daughter (18 months) was still in diapers. My dad is so ready for my daughter to be out of diaper so we don't have to buy them anymore. I guess how it was for them back then and even now in some villages is that they don't have disposable diapers or washing machines for cloth diapers, so to have your kid wear "diapers" of any sort would mean A LOT for dirty laundry to wash...in the river nonetheless. They've got them trained from the get-go. I can't remember the info, but I took a child dev class and they were saying something about the whole psychological view of it all. And then of course there are others who, like my friend, are surprised that we have the seat for her already.
I'm in the process of potty training my little spitfire right now. She's getting used to the concept. Every time I run to the bathroom so does she, and now that I've finally gotten her very own royal thrown, she likes to sit on it. It's amusing to watch her lift the lid and sit her fully clothed bottom onto it.
Point is, she's eager, I wish I would have known to at least attempt it a little earlier, but this is the first I've heard of it. I think she's always been eager to learn, I should have just started sooner.
@dAzEdNdEfUSED@xanga - I'm not really concerned about "bragging rights." If I do try early potty training, it'll be because I think it's the right thing for us to try and because research I have read suggests it might actually be better for the child than waiting till he's 3 years old.
@TashaDW_18@xanga - I definitely will not be forcing anything on him. I like the idea of having it available in case it's something he's receptive to. But if he's not interested or doesn't like it, then that'll be that and we'll try again later.
@motheroftheyear - I'm not trying to "hurry" him to be potty trained. I actually think that if I take this on, it'll be a good bit more work that just letting him go in a diaper and changing him afterwards. I realize it will probably take time, and he may very well not be totally trained till 2 yrs or older.
@syrup4488@xanga - @railroadwife1995@xanga - @ElizabethDNB@xanga - @shaunaRae@xanga - @mamajoyjoy@xanga -
To those of you who did potty train early, I'm curious as to what your pediatricians thought of it? Did they support/agree with it, or did they think it was a bad idea and that you should wait till later? Did you have to search for a pediatrician that supported you on this?
I was completely potty-trained by 18 months, and my two brothers and one sister were all done between that time and 28 months. None of us are any worse for it, and I'm going to try to do the same thing with my kids. It absolutely can be done, and after being a nanny for 5 years and changing the diapers of many a three year old, I wonder why more mothers don't at least try to start earlier. Cleaning up accidents is no worse than a diaper! And who knows, maybe you'll have a child prodigy who takes to it right away!
@shaunaRae@xanga - Keep it up! I used IPT with my youngest and I loved it. Well worth it. And dont listen to the naysayers... shes a regular everyday child that has no social, no psychological.. no problems (besides the regular everyday 6yo going on 16 doesnt have).
@mamahippo - Our ped became aware of it when I went in for a checkup and he was shocked she didnt have on a diaper. So I talked to him about it. While talking my daughter (3 months) started to shiver (as someone else mentioned, it was a sign for us she had to pee). So I took her to the sink, told her pss, and she went. He couldnt believe it and was amazed. He was telling everyone in the office about it. And he started to do research. When we came back at 6 months, he wanted to see it again. I wasnt sure if she had to go or not, but put her over the sink and said psss... he was amazed when he could see her trying to go, and did.
most naysayers were amazed when they could watch my daughter signal and go. When my daughter was only 6 weeks old, we were at a friends, she had a 3 month old. My friends baby was very cranky. I asked if I could try IPT on him, and he went immediately. The 8 hrs that I was there, I took him 4 times (trying to learn his signals), by the end of those 8 hrs, he was no longer cranky and she had it figured out. If she tried to put a diaper on he was cranky again. He was an easy one to do IPT with, and she went with it. she thought I was crazy at first, but was happy when I figured it out with her son! She continued it, never using diapers again.
your son may not have a regular schedule but he does make certain faces when he's going to go right? if you wanted to try that method, maybe watch for the facial expressions to cue you that he needs to go.
as for me, my son is 2 (as of July) and still not really acting ready
Personally I never mentioned it. I didnt care what my doctor had to say,I know my son and i know he's doing good with it...so what does it matter if my dr doesnt think my son is ready or not?
@mamahippo - My pediatricin is the father of 4. I that was the most important thing to me when picking him. His philosiphy on this, and every other child related matter, is that mom knows best. I do not recall discussing potty training with him, after all it is not a medical issue, but everytime anything has come up he has always said that being the mom who is wit them 24/7 I would be the best judge of what is right for them. I guess if a mom works outside of the home regularly this might be the nanny or daycare worker or whoever spends the most time daily with the child. Every kid is so different. But when you are with them, tending to their needs all the time you get to know them much better and are a much better judge than a dr. who sees them every few months to every year. Trust yourself. Go to your Dr. with medical questions (is this medication best for these symptoms or what are the signs of allergies) but for normal stuff who would know better than you?
I don't have any children but my mom has said to me several times that when I was little (I don't know how old... maybe like 2 I guess...?) I just told her I was ready to use the "big girl potty" and after that I never wore diapers again. Apparently I was a really easy child to toilet train. One day I told her I wanted to do it and after that I never went back to diapers.
Though I guess my younger sister was a different story. I think she said they had a lot of difficulty toilet training her. I don't know what they did to try to train her though. I guess that isn't much help. I guess she was just stubborn and didn't want anything to do with the toilet.
hmm I have lazy kids or I am lazy. Though we tried off and on with 3 of my 4 they were all 4 before they were trained. I wound up putting them in regular underwear and making them help me clean the mess(or be nearby when I cleaned). THey learned quick. Now my 3 year old refuses to sit on the potty....its insane!