Tuesday, 29 July 2008
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Will I Make It Through Childbirth?
by Momaroo TeamIn this forum topic, a young mom-to-be with a small frame writes about her fears regarding childbirth. She worries that the painful process of childbirth might be too much for her petite frame, and even asks the question...
Is there a chance that something may go wrong and I won't make it?
How would you respond to a pregnant friend who was struggling with similar concerns about her upcoming childbirth?
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Comments (32)
My sister is only 5'1" and weighed an average of 100 lbs most of her life with brittle-looking bones while her husband is 6'3", can lift a refrigerator all by himself and looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin. When she was pregnant with her first (and later decided will be the ONLY) child, people thought she was having twins because of how big her belly was. She was admitted to the hospital and after waiting for more than 20 hours, apparently, the baby boy's big head wasn't going to fit through her pelvic girdle so they went to plan b, a c-section. Not surprisingly, the baby boy weighed in at 10 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long.
Well what you DON'T do is tell horror stories about what you've experienced/heard about. For example, you don't mention that your mother, who has a small frame, has had back problems ever since she had the last baby, and has to go to the chiropractor every month to have a plate in her hips/back/whatever it is, popped back into place.
;-P
If you're having these concerns, I can only imagine that your doctor is as well. Talk to him/her about it. My cousin is tiny and just recently had a baby and because of her small frame, the doctor decided that she should have a c-section and both mother and baby were fine. I wouldn't worry too much about it, I've seen a great number of tiny women who have had no troubles with labor and delivery. The doctor (or midwife) will make sure that there is no danger to the baby.
I would have them have the same conversation with their doctor, and remind them that tons of babies are given birth every day to woman with petite bodies. It's rare to die while giving birth. Although not unheard of, it's something you just need to get through. It's the same sort of anxiety as flying for some people. You're not in control so you feel as though there is more of a risk.
-L
I had a friend who is maybe 5'1". and 100lbs soaking wet. Anyways, she has had three perfectly healthy boys AT HOME! All three boys were born by a midwife. Which means no pain meds. I am not a petit person, but I have had 4 (the biggest of which was 9lb 8oz, with no meds) and the best thing to do is relax, don't stress (too much) and let your body do what it was ment to.
I am only 5'1 and had large babies. All of mine were C-sections. I attempted to birth two of them naturally, but had to do C-sections in the end. I was not disappointed that I had to have surgery rather than a natural birth though others tried to make me feel that way. After all, wasn't the whole point to have the baby move from inside my body to outside my body. I didn't really care how that was accomplished so long as we were both okay.
Personally, I would encourage a tiny person to be under a doctor's care rather than a midwife as some do just in case something did go awry as with my deliveries. It was no big deal because I had trained medical professionals to step in when I was not able to birth my three large boys each time. As motheroftheyear mentioned, if said "tiny mother to be" is having those concerns so must her doctor, so he/she will be prepared for any eventuality and has probably handled hundreds of people just like her. The doctor will know what to do in an emergency. It will be okay. People like us used to die in childbirth a hundred years ago when medicine was not as advanced and medical personnel were few and far between, but that is rarely an issue in our modern world.
I'm a petite 5'2" mom myself and have had 5 babies with my 6'3" hubby... my smallest was 8lb 1oz. I had all 5 naturally, the last two at home.
My advice to any mother to be regarding size... Your build does not have much to do with your ability to birth. The only aspect of your size/shape that can make a difference is the size of your pelvic opening in relation to the size of your baby. There have been plenty of tiny mommas who've given birth to big babies and likewise plenty of big built mommas who couldn't squeeze out a 5lb'er... don't judge a book by it's cover.
I'm 5'7" 110 lbs soaking wet, and I had a 7lb14oz baby girl, and then an 8lb7oz baby boy. Both vaginally (first epidural, second no drugs at all). With no issues whatsoever.
If that were my friend, I'd tell her that every woman is different and each birth is unique but that women's bodies were made to have babies and in most cases are able to. Listen to her care provider, listen to her instinct and take it one step at a time... no sense in getting worked up over the small possibilities that rarely happen.
@cuzimlexxi@xanga - Oh God. I'm 5'1 and 100 pounds. My hubby is 5'10 and 190 pounds. His mom informed me with a smile about "how big his head was when he was born". My father and my brothers also had big heads when they were born.
I'm never going to make it.
At least I'm not pregnant yet...
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - hahah i agree. my sister also had the same problem. she couldn't handle conceiving another child because she now suffers from back problems, too! she was prescribed vicodin for weeks i think.
@KechiNeko244@xanga - my sister told me that insurance would rather have the doctor cut your pubic bone before letting you get a c-section. but! once you get a c-section, you have that choice with any children after.
@cuzimlexxi@xanga - I really don't want to have a c-section when I have kids. I would like to go natural. But considering my pain tolerance = 0 and the chance that my future children will have big heads...
I'd better make sure I have good insurance, huh? :p
my midwife told me a story of a woman that she delivered babies for. . . this woman was 4' 3" and had a 12 pounder(yes, naturally). so i'd tell the concerned mom that anyone can have babies. . . size doesn't matter as much as many may think and that the risks for her are just as less or great as any other woman. . . i agree about talking to her doctor/midwife about her concerns. the bottom line is always that you go into birth with a peace about what's going to happen. . . and understanding your body and the process. . . and trusting your care provider. . . go in with as little fear as possible. becuase fear makes pain 100x more intense.
it's tough to console people when they are truly scared.
i'll admit this is something that even I'm scared of. I'm 5'8", weigh 130 lbs, have relatively wide hips... but I feel around my pelvic girdle and i just "know" that i'll tear, or the baby won't even fit...
and i'm not even a small person!
scares me to death and i don't think i'm ever going to have children unless i have the option of c-section.
My mom had to have c sections because she is also very small (think like 5 feet tall, less than 120 pounds) and she couldn't do a natural birth. They tried with me but didn't bother trying with my sister.
She should know that the doctor will know what is the right thing to do and if she is ever in danger the doctor will do what they can do make things go right.
My ex sis-in-law had 4 kids, vaginally. She is 5'1" and probably 110 lbs. She had quick births, too, I'm talking from start to finish, the longest she was in labor was like 8 hours. And her kids were average size, huge heads! I'm much bigger than she is--average height and a little on the heavy side. I experienced complications that resulted in c-sections. I also had big babies. It's not about size because every birth is different. I would tell my friend that labor hurts, that is no joke. But don't be afraid and talk to your doctor!
I personally know that the whole idea freaks me out. I know a lot about the whole process, but knowing that much kind of makes it worse for me. I'm not that small, but the idea freaks me out.
I'm not a mom, or a petite person, but I'm thinking what I'd say if I were trying to comfort a friend or family member with these concerns...
First of all, today's technology has advanced SO MUCH that if anything would go wrong (and rarely does it) they have a ton of solutions ready to implement at a moments notice. Another thing is that as long as you're open and honest with your doctor you have a lot less to worry about. Keep your doctor(s) in the know about things that may or may not be cause for future concern because even something small might help them plan for a future complication and have a solution ready BEFORE something happens or they may even be able to take care of it then before there's a problem made out of it. Lastly, don't drive yourself crazy worrying about all the ways it could go wrong because needless worry and stress don't help anyone--least of all the baby. Just focus on all the things that will go well and the end result: baby will be here!
Hopefully that's not too corny though... Oh, well.i'm getting ready to go through labor myself for the first time and can't offer anything more than encouragement... we can do it! my hubby is over 6' and completely scandinavian... i had to pick the one with viking spawn, didn't i? as much as i fear what's about to happen i think my best thoughts center on that i've tried to prepare myself as best i can. what happens next is anyone's guess so thank god for technology and a damn good doc!
i would say that you would be surprised and amazed at how much your body can take and handle. you can make it through! trust yourself (and God).
This is something I wonder about myself.
I am 5'0 and 105lbs and my fiance is 6'1 and 250lbs. He has two children from his previous marriage each of them weighing close to 10lbs each. His ex-wife was a somewhat smaller woman as well.
We have talked about it numerous times because both my little sister and I were both C-Section deliveries from my 4'9 filipina mom. My dad is 6'1. So I figure it is something I will have to deal with when the time comes.
But what matters most to me is having children with my fiance, not so much the scar that will be across my belly.
My mama wears hers like a badge of pride =)
There are several classes out there for moms to be... to prepare them for childbirth.... getting enrolled in them would probably be the best thing for her. It would not only help her to control her worries and stress, but it would keep the baby calm and stressfree. I would say that if she did low impact exercises like walking or swimming, it would make the birth process alot easier for her too.... also always keep her thinking positive thoughts about her pregnancy and child birth, by reminding her that the birth process will pass, but she will have the beautiful gift of her baby when it is over.
It isn't the person's size, rather it's the pelvic shape, the size of the baby, and the baby's presentation that determines wether or no the baby can be born vaginally.
I see many moms that are average to large size end up with a c-section and have normal size babies. And I also see moms of average to small size have large babies. Last week we had one mom (5' 2" - 110 lbs) deliver a 11 lb 4 oz baby vaginally! I have ot admit I was impressed, esp since she didn't have more than an 1 degree laceration. Last night I had a mom (5' 6" - 170 lbs) have a section and her aby was only 5 lbs - 4 oz. This was her 3rd baby and her smallest baby and her 1st section.
You never know what your delivery will turn out to be. Everyone should prepare for both vaginal and section.
The thought of giving birth terrifies me, but there is also the aspect that women have been doing this for thousands of years, and even with far less technology than what we have today. I would think that the mother-to-be's OB/GYN would be able to tell by the frame of the MTB, pelvic region, sonograms, etc., how to be prepared. I know things can always happen along the way but in this day and age I think doctors are more versed and have the equipment to do what needs to be done. My expert opinion, however, comes straight from TV and/or reading, NOT from experience...
just pray. =]