Tuesday, 29 July 2008
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If You Knew What You Know Now, Would You Still Have...?
I love that question. It acknowledges that things always change and evolve, either with or without our help. We can either go with the flow or fight the current. I prefer to put my feet up, relax and go where the river takes me.
by Mama Fox
I am not the same person I was 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest son. I am not the same person my husband married. I have made changes within myself and I have allowed my surroundings to shape me. Inside I am very much myself but different from when I was 4, 10 or 16... the same way I'm different now than I will be at 25, 45 or 89. Life experiences have a way of affecting you. Falling in love, becoming a parent, hardships, and good times all leave an imprint.
I asked my husband last night if knowing what he does now, would he still have married me. He said yes (yeah he's a smart man too
) "You may have made changes in yourself but you are still the same person." We had a talk about how we both have changed since we got married almost 5 years ago and what has changed us. My major factor is becoming a mother. That was and still is life altering for me. I am always adjusting myself to be the best mother I can. Papa Fox's change came from his military experience. No one goes to war and comes back the same.
Our changes are not bad in any way. I feel we've both changed for the better. We allow and accept those changes in ourselves and each other as a part of life. He isn't the same man I married but I love him very much and hope we have many years of growing and changing together ahead of us.How have you changed over the years? What has been the biggest life-altering experience for you?
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Comments (7)
Of course I'm going to say getting married and having children. My husband and I found out we were expecting our first child only 9 months into our marriage. We don't have the same relationship we did before kids came along but we have made adjustments to make it work. I'd also say going to college was a life-altering experience in that it was my first time living away from home. I had to learn how to budget my time, my finances, and know that I alone was responsible for the decisions that I made. Without a doubt, knowing what I know now about being a wife and a mother, I would still choose the same path in life as I did.
I can honestly say, for all the good and bad, I wouldn't change a thing. I think John feels the same. We are two very lucky and very happy people. Great post!
I made bad decisions in the past, when I was "young and stupid" but I wouldn't change anything. Those decisions eventually led me to where I am right now - with the man of my dreams and a baby girl on the way. Sure, not everything is perfect, but we are happy and blessed (and more in love than ever!).
Finding out I was pregnant was much more life altering than when I actually gave birth, because by that time, I was prepared for it! I was in no way ready to have children and I had to completely change my life to make sure that I could give the very best to my kid.
It pales in comparison, but I transfered high schools when I was a sophomore and it couldn't have been more terrifying experience. I went from a very tiny charter school, grades 6 - 12, that centered on the performing arts, to my neighborhood high school that had 2500 students. I did at least know a lot of people that I had gone to elementary school with.
My mother was in a very bad car accident several years ago that nearly killed her. There was a role reversal between us and while it wasn't difficult at the time, years later I am amazed by how it changed me.
My "core" values have always been the same. But I've eliminated a lot of the stress and drama (and the people that caused both) from my life. Life is too short and it's not worth. I'd much rather have a few quality people close to me than a bunch of jerks at arms' length. My exes and ex-in-laws where my wake-up calls there. Probably the best thing that ever happened to me, looking back on it now...though at the time...yeaaahhh...
After meeting Tim, I've eaten healthier and healthier. Something I'd wanted to do for a long time, but let myself be pulled down with some of the aforementioned "toxic" people and their bad habbits for waaay too long. This is silly, but when we first started dating, I was bored one night and looked up our astrological compatability, it sited my issues with "following through" on somethings as a potential problem in the relationship. It opened my eyes to all the things I have trouble following through with and I've worked to improve on that because I care so much about the relationship.
Since finding out we're expecting, I've been working diligently to be a better person all-round. I want to set the best example that I can for my child. I take better care of myself and have kicked the clutter out of my home. I make sure to stand up for myself and the things that I truly believe in, but also not to let others reduce me to their levels. Being more organized so that I'm not as stressed when I can't find things or forget them. That sort of thing.
They've all been equally life-altering in their own way.
Great question. I have changed tons and yet, not at all. My kids are almost all grown. Some even have kids are of their own. My baby will be be 16 in 3 weeks. I have grown more confident over the years. In high school I was very meek, I didn't think very highly of myself.
Recently I enrolled in college. I have started a weight loss journey. At almost 40 year old I am finding myself and figuring out what I want to be when I "grow up". 'Bout time huh?
In other ways. I don't "feel" much different. I look in the mirror and wonder where did the teenager in me go because I don't mentally "feel" any older. Know what I mean?
I guess the standard "becoming a mom" - it is a really profound thing.