Friday, 25 July 2008

• The Difficulties of Breastfeeding

  by Mama Koala

  
  [Image Source]

  I agree with several of the commenters on this post that many moms give up on breastfeeding early because of lack of support.  I almost became one of those moms, but I was fortunate enough to have someone to call at the moment when I was about to give up.

  A thoughtful friend had lent me a couple of books on breastfeeding, and since I had read through them, I knew what to expect the first couple of days.  I knew that I would not see real (white) milk for the first few days, and that the milk would "come in" after that.  The fluid that comes out at first is called colostrum, and it is supposed to have everything that a newborn baby would need.  Even though it doesn't seem like the baby is getting enough (since colostrum isn't milky and it doesn't overflow in abundance), as long as the baby is latching on properly, there should be no need to supplement with formula during this time.

  Baby Koala and I came home after 2 nights at the hospital.  I was expecting for my milk to "come in" the next day or so (according to the books, this should happen 3-4 days after giving birth), but it didn't happen.  Two days after we got home, it was already time for her very first doctor's appointment (5th day follow-up visit).  They pricked her to get a blood sample, and told us that they would call us if there was a problem with the results.  That same day, my mom arrived in town to help us out and Papa Koala went to pick her up at the airport while I stayed at home with Baby Koala.  While they were on their way home, the phone call came.  It was already 9pm, so I was surprised to hear the pediatrician's voice on the line.  She told me that Baby Koala had jaundice (her bilirubin level was 27, and anything over 20 is considered dangerous) and that because the level was so high, we had to take her to the ER right away.  I wasn't expecting to take my baby back to the hospital after just a couple of days.  I called Papa Koala and told him to get home as soon as possible so that he could take the baby to the hospital.  As I waited at home, I did some research on jaundice and started getting scared about possibilities of brain damage (very rare).  I was having a hard time with the recovery and it was so difficult for me to be in a sitting position that I stayed home while Papa Koala and my mom took Baby Koala to the ER.

  Papa Koala called to say that Baby Koala needed to stay overnight for phototherapy, and also added that it was good that I wasn't there with them.  When I asked why, he told me that it would've been too hard for me to watch them prick her over and over again trying to find a good vein... and that in the end they had to stick a needle in her forehead.  He said that she cried hysterically the whole time.  After I hung up, I started to develop a high fever, and I had body aches all over (from recovery?  or stress?).  I got under the covers, and could feel the cold sweat all over my body.  I just lay there trembling and crying, trying to convince myself that Baby Koala was in good hands and that she needed the treatment in order to be healthy.

  The first few days are so crucial for breastfeeding, since frequent nursing helps the milk to start flowing.  Since my milk hadn't "come in" yet, and the doctors told us that Baby Koala needed to be eating and pooping more, Papa Koala fed her formula that night at the hospital.  I started worrying about how this would affect breastfeedig, but suddenly (now 5 days after giving birth)... my milk "came in."  And along with it, one of the most uncomfortable sensations I've ever experienced.  I had read a bit about engorgement, but nothing had prepared me for this.  My breasts became ROCK HARD, and I'm not exaggerating (some of you know what I mean!).  I didn't have to move at all to be in pain, it just hurt no matter what position I was in.  Lying on my back was the worst, because the pressure from the massive rocks on my chest was too much to bear.  Since Baby Koala was at the hospital, and I was in no condition to stay there on a chair overnight, I had to get the milk out for her some other way (and relieve my pain as well).

  I was determined to try breastfeeding, and wasn't going to let this hiccup stop me before I even really got started.  I broke open my $250 Medela Pump In Style Breast Pump, and proceeded to "pump" my breasts.  I labored in vain for an hour and got a few drops... I read the manual, I looked through the books, I even looked online... but none of it helped and I felt so desperate and frustrated.  $250 for a pump that doesn't work??!    My mom was at home with me by this time (while Papa Koala stayed at the hospital), but she didn't know how to help.  In fact, she was amazed by how hard and full my breasts had become, and made a comment about how she's never experienced that and maybe that's why she didn't have enough breastmilk for my brother or me (we were mostly formula-fed).

  At this point, I was so ready to give up.  My breastmilk had given my sweet, tiny newborn jaundice (or so it seemed) and she was now stuck in a tank with a needle in her forehead, being pricked every hour for blood tests.  On top of that, the  breast pump wasn't working, and I was in so much pain from the engorgement.  In my despair, I called a friend who had breastfed 3 kids successfully.  I told her I was engorged and in pain... and she told me that was a good sign, since it meant that the milk was coming in.  She confirmed what I had read in books (but coming from a real person, it always sounds more helpful) about looking at a picture of the baby while trying to express breastmilk using the pump.  She also shared a personal tip, to pump one side at a time while massaging the breast with the other hand.  And then the best piece of news... the initial engorgement was temporary, it would go away within a day or two if I continued nursing or pumping!  (This wasn't intuitive for me, and the books I read never touched on how long the initial engorgement would last.)

  I tried again, and within an hour was able to get about an ounce using the breast pump.  It got better with practice, and hours later I was getting 2-4 ounces (of course, my fingers were sore and swollen from painfully massaging every single hard lump of milk out and each side took over a half hour).  Papa Koala would stop by home to pick up whatever I had available in the fridge and take it back to the hospital to feed Baby Koala.  If it wasn't enough, he supplemented with formula for the next feeding.  We repeated this pump-store-send-feed cycle for 2 days until Baby Koala came home.

  Once the baby was at home, breastfeeding was SO much easier.  This is when I learned that a breast pump could never perfectly simulate a baby's sucking, or even come close (although later on, pumping got easier as well, and it only took about 15 minutes to pump both sides together... the Medela actually turned out to be an awesome breast pump!).  Within days, I had enough breastmilk to feed her and also pump a little in between feedings to store for any future emergencies (just in case).  I wore nursing pads under my bra all the time because otherwise breastmilk would leak onto my clothes (yuck).  It felt gross to be wet all the time, but I didn't mind it because I was so thankful that my body was producing enough breastmilk and that I didn't have to supplement with formula anymore.

  What tips would you give a mom-to-be about getting through the first week of breastfeeding?

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