Thursday, 24 July 2008
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Laid Back Wife
So I was waiting in line for my bus to come and I was texting the hubs. "I'm sorry I said the f word. I was frusdraded." FOR THE LIFE OF ME I couldn't remember how to spell 'frustrated!' It was pissing me off and I attempted 5 times to fix it but with no success. I just couldn't remember!!! UGH! Don't you hate that? Anyways I was mad at the hubs cause he came at me with a "I might have to go to AC this weekend." Might have to? Do I look stupid?Now let me just say that compared to most wives I'm pretty laid back. Actually pretty f*ckin laid back. He plays golf almost every weekend for one day. I mean he just got new clubs and he's excited about them so I'm usually not cool with him going every weekend but lately I've been ok with it. I don't really give him sh*t or nag about things either but when he came at me with the might have to speech I was pissed. He asked me if I was mad and I said "YEAH I'M F*CKIN MAD!"
I don't like cursing at him. I mean I know I have a potty mouth like a truck driver from Texas but I don't like cursing at my hubs. Ya know? He my boo.
Via email...
Me: I'm writing about how you made me mad yesterday and I just want you to know that your popularity level with the mommies is gonna drop about 20 points.
Him: Wow. I give a sh*t.
Me: Um, your attitude level just dropped about a bajillion points with me AC!Do you give your partner time to get out of the house to relax or hang out with friends? Does he do the same for you?
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Comments (26)
lol ''he my boo'' lol Your mails are hilarious. ^^
Well, he does what he wants as long as he makes time for me and the kids then I have no problem with it. He mostly works and sleeps and meets his friends for a coffee or at home or to run errands. I don't think I am laid back enough to ''let'' him go to nightclubs or something. I am not that laid back...
When he starts bailing out of going to the zoo or any other ambitious family outing... he's gone. lol I have nagging abilities and i *will* use them. Be warned.
um does he do the same for me? Um, yes but I occasionally have to use my awesome nagging abilities. Well he does offer, in theory... but *sometimes* when I am ready to take him up on it suddenly he's too busy...
My husband doesn't really care to go off by himself to do things...he'd rather hang out with me.
But that said, I'll let him go over to his brother's house to play XBOX and he lets me take off if I need to. But most of the time we prefer to do things together. He LOVES it when I offer to take him to Bass Pro Shops "just to look around" (a good three hours wasted, but it makes him happy). I try not to nag though, nothing hurts our relationship more than that.
Papa Whale got more freedom than me. He gets to travel more, I mean by booking an airplane tickets and go to those comic conventions. While I'm suffering at home taking care of Baby Whale. I'm just in your shoes, lol start getting use to it.
seems that more times than not it is him--like today---last night I sked him "so you'll be home for myultrasound at 3 right" yeah I'll be home at three "no my ultrasound is at 3 I need you home before that" well I'm in a softball game! it is not something he HAS to do but was just going to stay at work and do it--sometimes they just piss me off like we are expected to just be okay with them getting out but if we want time alone it is the end of the world!
Would you be able to go to AC with him? Even if you didnt spend the whole time with him. Maybe you and Baby Platypus could spend some time on the beach and then meet up with him for some family time. When he goes golfing, maybe you could meet him for lunch afterwards. I know with my husband, it is much easier to try to get involved in the things that he is doing rather than trying to get him to stop doing those things. I have even found that I like doing some of the things he does - sometimes. It is a really hard place to be in though. I wish you the best while talking to him to work it out!
I'm pretty happy with my husband. He goes out of his way to make sure that I'm included in almost everything. If he goes golfing, I get to drive the cart. I know he catches grief for "bringing the wife" along on some of the boys outings, but that usually doesn't last long.
Last time we went deer hunting... My tent, my stove, my cookware, my lanterns, my heater, my feeder, and my blind. I like whiskey and I play poker, so fitting in really isn't a problem. My guns are also better :) Everyone had a much better time because I went, brought my gear, and cooked for everyone. They usually eat baloney sandwiches for a week. He got told that he's not to come unless he brings me.
It also didn't hurt that I bagged the biggest buck anyone took that outing and field dressed it myself.
I don't have a boo anymore but I can assure you that everyone needs there space. Now if your "boo" is taking a little too much space and a little too much time alone it is a problem.
You have to maintain that level of respect with men and still be able to constructievly tell him that you are not happy. It's all about respect with guys. We could care less if you love us but if you don't respect us then that is a problem. Cussing at your husband shows that you lost respect for him. If two guys were to cuss each other out they would end up in a brawl but since most respectable men would never hit a woman the only thing they can do is create distance so they can relieve some of the tension they feel from the lack of respect.
Every Friday is happy hour for my husband. He works very hard and long hours and comes home helps me with the kids and dinner and the cleaning. I know this is going to sound so old fashion...but I think he deserve some time to decompress and just enjoy company without thinking of us... kind of recharge his battery so to speak. I too need time but just not like he does. I may just want 1/2 the day to go shopping with out kids and a husband. We are all different and our needs about "me" time is different. I do get mad however when happy hour turns into oh i don't know getting home at 11pm and not telling me he will be out later than usual. That ticks me off and another story all together. have a great day.
Okay, so I'm the lone male in this group reading this, but I cant help myself ;) I had to give my input. When I am with someone, I do everything with them. If I'm going out with friends, I try to incorporate her into the deal, too. I want her friends to be my friends and my friends to be her friends... and I honestly think my friends HAVE to respect that, or they just aren't worth my time, because I could be spending the rest of my life with that woman as my new BEST friend, whereas those typical hang out friends just come and go (for me, anyway.) Plus, I want a girl who'll do "guy stuff" with me, I want to share that with her, not be off on my own.
My boyfriend does the same thing with the "might HAVE to" UGH it drives me insane! I don't usually complain when he goes out with "the guys" but occasionally he will take it a little too far and not come home until 5 am. That is when I get mad! I believe that everyone needs alone time away from their significant other to do guy things or girl things but there has to be some sort of boundaries, such as coming home at a respectable hour.
All my friends moved away after high school, so there's not really any "girls nights" or anything.
Mostly, he wants me to hang out with his friends with him.
A) He's clingy (I like it) and
B) He knows I miss being around people.
I only get mad when he goes alone and we agree on a time/day for him be home, and he completely changes plans WITHOUT EVEN GIVING ME A HEADS UP. Then I get really pissed off.
He also has an issue with the times where I just want to be left alone. He's learning though.
@morrighu@xanga - Nice.
We all like our own "me and friends" time. But don't let him get carry away with it and forget about you and him time!
@BraddyRants@xanga - You're not the only guy on Momaroo...(although too many of us and they might slap a ladies-only rule here...)
I've given my lovely wife as much time as I can for her to follow her dreams. Petra concerts. Time with her mother. Other such things...
I'm not the best husband/father...but I try.
@Romans_837@xanga - I figured I wasn't the only one around, but I wondered if I was the only one that read almost every single entry and commented on any he could relate to XD glad to see I'm not alone, anyway!
Oh my fuck, this is the biggest concern in your life? Your husband isn't spending every waking second with you, so you're freaking out? Zombie Jesus' grave, grow up and develop the ability to be by yourself for more than five minutes...confidence is attractive. Needing constant attention is the furthest thing from being attractive. Spend some time with friends. Go shopping. Do something aside from bitching about it. Fix the fucking problem, don't discuss it. Get it done. Feel better, you neurotic woman.
@Nicolai__X@xanga - Wow. What the hell was THAT reply about? You must have read a different entry because she didnt sound neurotic or freaked out at all. And whats with all the swearing? She never said it was the biggest concern of her life, but since it does have to do with a man she may be with all of her life its worth talking about.
Someones had a bad day, I guess.
I would have to say that my hubs gets out more than I do...but I would also have to say that it really isn't his fault. He has things that he likes to do and I....don't? I just don't really have any friends right now, so if I am going to go hang out it is usually driving an hour away to spend some time with one of my sisters (and I can only do that every so often). He offers me times to get out sometimes, but I don't like going out by myself and I am like "what am I gonna do?"
He plays bar league poker every Wednesday and I am glad that he has something he enjoys. And it usually relaxes him (unless he does really badly). He doesn't ignore us so I don't have an issue with it. Everybody just needs a night or two to do their own thing sometimes.
Why do people have these small disputes? I can never understand normal couples. There's just no reason to even care about something that small.
If he allows you some time out while he does the child care, then, yes, I think he should have one day of the weekend for his own.
Dear Departed did fine with this once the children were out of diapers. He literally retched whenever he had to change a dirty one and this was before disposables and we had three in diapers at one time--twins and a single. By the time they were all potty trained, I was tired and often bitter. Then I started go to the movies every Sunday afternoon with two girlfriends. It did wonders for my boo and me once I got some downtime for myself.
@Knights_Bridge@xanga - i don't think that because i cursed means i don't have respect for my husband. people get mad. it' s human.
@Nicolai__X@xanga - holy shit calm the fuck down. i give him plenty of time to do the things that he wants. so if i need help to raise our daughter i'm gonna ask for it. who says it's the biggest concern in my life? and who says it's cause i'm not confident and i don't see how this has anything to do with a lack of confidence. if i see that he's going out every weekend yeah then i'm gonna say something.
@Thirteenhearts@xanga - thirteen, i love you. hahaha i know! what the hell. it takes 2 to raise a child. people need their space. i get that. i need it too at times and he's got no problem with it. but seriously, don't come at me like you HAVE TO go to ac to chaperone a friend who's out of control. ya know what i'm saying? not my problem.
@PetiteMandoo@xanga - I know exactly what youre saying lol. Unfortunately SOME people (like our friend Nicolai :P) just like to tell other people theyre wrong without trying to look at it from their point of view >_<
My hubby gets his alone time down in the garage working on his car. Of course we are always welcome down there to hang out with him and sometimes he wants us to, but there's no place to put the baby down so we usually don't stay long. I don't really get alone time except the rare occasion when I get my hair done and Daddy and Baby hang out in the lobby.... Ooh and once I went out with my sis for an hour while Baby and Daddy were sleeping!
C gets out plenty and I don't give him a hard time. It's me that never goes anywhere. When he gets his company car finally, I'll be able to take the car whenever I want. You do seem really laid back, some women might say you're too nice! I think you're doing just fine.