Wednesday, 23 July 2008
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To Have or Not to Have...Another Baby
by Mama Whale
Papa Whale and I have been talking about Baby#2, but I'm afraid of the whole process and ordeal of the pain that I went through. During my second trimester I was tested positive of having gestational diabetes. I knew that there was no way avoiding the test and I knew regardless that I would have it, cause diabetes runs in my family.
As a first timer my OBGYN was very strict with me and required me to buy a blood test kit that required me to prick myself after every meal. After every pricking, I had to indicate my sugar level on a worksheet she gave me and every time I saw her I had to give her my worksheet.During my pregnancy it helped me in some ways to lose a lot of weight. My OBGYN also indicated that I can't have a big baby, otherwise it'd be hard for me to push her out and I'd need a c-section. So during the time that I was pregnant I had to watch what I ate and had to control myself not to go overboard.
I hated pricking myself and detested using the blood test kit, it made me want to chuck it out the window. I always cried in the bathroom when I was about to prick myself. So this is the main reason why I'm afraid to have Baby#2 and I'm scared to go through it again.
Did anyone else have a difficult pregnancy? If so, were/are you willing to go through the ordeal again?
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Comments (23)
Oh sweetie,(((hugs)))
Childbearing is not for the faint of heart, but it is worth it! Knowing you are prone to gestational diabetes will make it easier from the start. My sister is a very bad diabetic, and she says there is a monitor that doesn't hurt at all now.
As far as difficult pregnancies, My first was a bear, 7 months of morning sickness, 3 months of bedrest... but I was ready to do it all again... I had #2, and even after a miscarriage and a tubal pregancy in the same year I wanted to try yet again... took 11 more years but we managed #3!
Go in to it with knowledge, not fear. You will do fine!
I can't help with the blood tests but if diabetes runs in your family and you have already had gestational diabetes your risk for old age diabetes is pretty high so get used to the daily testing. I was lucky and didn't have gestational diabetes this time around but have such a family history that I started watching my diet really carefully a few years ago. My diet is actually worse now than it has been in years but having a six-month old does that I guess.
As for the C-section - it wasn't bad at all. I dreaded it (she was breech and I am not big at all) but now I think I got off easy. I was a hurting unit the two days I was in the hospital but was okay once I did come home. Granted I couldn't get in and out of bed easily and had a lot of restrictions (stairs, cars, etc.) but I played by the rules and healed easily. Now I wonder if it wasn't a heck of a lot less painful than vaginal delivery (I never even went into labor as she came out a week early). Would I have preferred to deliver her naturally? I don't know anymore. I could have ended up with just as many substances flooding my body. I got to see her in the delivery room before she and husband went to the nursery and I was still the first to hold her (very important to me that my hubbie and I were the first). I had awesome family support and didn't have to change a diaper for almost four days (I've since made up for it). She is certainly none the worse for it either.
I had gestational diabetes with my daughters. I gained something like 15 lbs with each pregnancy because I was forced to control it with diet. I still have the charts and should be monitoring what I eat even now because we are trying for number 3. The daily testing really didn't bother me because I wanted to monitor it closely--I didn't want to be on insulin. With number 2, it was harder to maintain my glucose levels by diet, however, I was still working and work was very stressful during that pregnancy, which I'm sure contributed to my blood pressure issues and the like. Long answer short--I want to go through it again because I love being pregnant, and I love bringing kids into this world and raising them. Gestational diabetes is a risk, but for me, I am more than willing to take it.
On a side note, since you've experienced it, you'll know what to do. I also had c-sections--it wasn't the end of the world--recovery is more difficult but if you have the support then it's not as bad!
I've had lots of morning sickness (which doesn't compare to what you went through, I'm sure), headaches, a lot of low blood sugar spells just because sometimes it's hard to eat at work, I'm there for 7 hours and then I'll come home and spend another hour+ cooking before eating. But other factors played into our choice to only have one child; like that we're both only children and have seen multiple children (and their parents) have it rough just because of conflicting personalities and such, while we had good childhoods. We've decided to go the vasectomy route and, if we choose to add another to our family later, we can always adopt.
I'm pregnant again. I was diagnose with gestational diabetes during the first pregnancy. I was about to control it most of the time with diet and exercise. But I had to give myself NPH shot at night time. I know how you feel. I hate testing myself 4 times a day and shot once a day. For my second pregnancy. They had me started to test myself early on the pregnancy. As it turned out, I have gestational diabetes again. This time I couldn't control it with diet and exercise. So now I'm on insulin shot 4 times a day along with testing 4 times a day. It sucks. But I know I really wanted to have to kids. So now I'm done. After this pregnancy, no more babies... hehe
I am a pre-existing diabetic so I've lived with this ridiculous disease for the past 5 years now lol I'm was not always so careful with my carb intake when wasn't pregnant but when I did get pregnant with our son I became a freaking hawk with every bite I took lol. I was put on a insulin pump and a strict diet. The insulin pump had to stay stuck on me for the entire pregnancy 24/7, well minus the times I took a shower, but I would definitely endure it all again for another healthy baby...or 2!
I've never had a child, but I am one of six.
I honestly think it's pretty insensitive of your SO to want another child. After all, your body has to carry it, and you have to face all of the restrictions put on you as far as diet and medicine.
I had GD and had to be on bedrest at 27 weeks. It sucked! It was well worth it in the end, but I understand the stress thinking about doing that all over again. I was scared everyday. During the first part all things were perfect. Then bam all this extra stuff was happening! So I feel your pain. And currently we are still waiting for number two. I'm not happy about it either.
I had hyperemesis with my first pregnancy. I couldn't eat or drink at all from about week 11 to about week 19. I had IV fluids about every day to every other day during that time and was throwing up 50-60 times a day. I continued to be sick until the baby was born. I'm going to give it another go this winter. I really want a second child so my daughter will have a sibling. It was miserable and I cried often, but it was only a few months from my whole life. I view it like running a marathon. The process is hard, but the result is beyond worth it.
As to the blood sugar monitoring, they have a newish kit that allows you to prick your arm instead of your finger. I haven't actually used that one. I always found that the ultra fine lancets made a big difference.
If it's worth it to you, go for it. If it's not, then you'll feel like a martyr the whole time. Whatever you choose, make sure it's what you really want.
My son use to kick like no other. You could tell he was going to be one energetic child.. and oh is he. I remember putting head phones on my tummy so he could hear music .. In the beginning, I was not sure how he would respond to it, but i saw him as enjoying it cause the rythm seemed to relax him.
Thinking back i remember him kicking the least when headphones were around my stomach... funny stuff.
The most times he would get all crazy on me though was when i was in a car... He was hyped up by the movemnent..
but thank God my pregnancy went smoothly and i had no complications. I did not take the epideral either.. yeah it was a bit painful.. haha
although i would not want to be in the delivery room again...
i miss the feeling of having a life growing inside of me..
and the gaining weight part of it sucked too.
aww the memories
My pregnancy wasn't even very difficult, yet in the months after giving birth the idea of being pregnant again felt... traumatic.
I'm sure I'll feel differently as more time passes, but honestly I would not be opposed to the idea of adopting future children. I've already gone through pregnancy, got to experience that, so I don't think I'd feel like I was missing anything, and I think it would be wonderful to adopt and give another child a new start. Hubby feels pretty strongly about wanting our next child to be biological though, so we'll have our 2nd and then we agreed that if we decide to have a 3rd we may look more seriously into adoption.
I just had my second child, and although both pregnancies were rather uneventful, pregnancy is still, well, pregnancy. I will say though, that I would never trade having a sibling for my first child. It has changed our family dynamic in so many positive ways! It has been good for my son to not be the center of attention all the time, and even though my daughter is only 6 months old he absolutley loves having a "playmate". I always look at it like this - pregnancy is for 9 months, but you have that child forever!
There's a lot pain, in having a baby and most people, really can't do it for the second time. I know I can't. If you really want to have another baby, maybe you could just adopt a baby.
I had a fairly easy pregnancy, but the aftermath wasn't that great and there was an ER trip from an infection when M was 2 months old. We're talking about #2, but my sister had GD during her pregnancy and it was a little tough for her. We'll talk more.....
Ugh yes my only great pregnancy was with my girl. It was beautiful the other 3 or I mean now 4 were terrible. Child number 5 was an oops but even 1,2 & 4 were just so horrible and hard on me....but still I figured it was just 9 months and i could get through even though the other night I was wishing I could have the baby delivered and have it finish growing in an incubator somewhere. Good luck!
My first pregnancy I dealt with gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, low amniotic fluid levels, a baby who quit growing at 32 weeks (discovered at 33 weeks), and who finally decided he needed to be born 6 weeks early! By the time he was 3 months old, I was ready to go again.
In the end, I was pregnant when my first child was 9 months old and despite 2 weeks of bedrest right at the end, the pregnancy was SO much better. The difficuly is short lived in the whole scheme of things and at least this time, you would be prepared for what you need to do. Try getting one of the testers that works on your arm. They are so much more comfortable and keep the pricking thing from being such a bear.
I had a pretty good pregnancy but I never want to do it again. For one it wasn't all that enjoyable, for another, it was so (relatively) good that I'm afraid the next one wouldn't be! The only complication I had was excess amniotic fluid and having a "large" baby but I would be even more adamant and would be on several different BCs if I had other complications.
I had a miscarriage 8 weeks into my first pregnancy. My second....my water broke at 18 weeks--they have no idea why--was put on bedrest from that point on. The one doctor in my OB's office (out of 4) told me that stats were very low for this situation and he basically told me that the baby wouldn't make it. At least that's what I heard. I never went to him again after that. The other 3 doctors were positive and gave me hope. At 24 weeks, I was admitted into the hospital because at that 24 weeks, the baby has a 50/50 chance. I was to stay there until the baby was born. The nurses there were wonderful. I was in the "High Risk Pregnancies" unit. I had a few scary moments and 2 weeks later, I began to have contractions which left the baby stressing, so they had to do an emergency C-Section. It was the scarriest thing I've ever went through. Actually, the C-Section was the easiest part. I think I was too worried about my baby to be worried about the surgery. Then, the doctor delivered the baby......and I say the baby because he didn't tell me what I had. The anesthesiolofist had to say, "Uh, are you going to tell her what she had?" Which by the way, he was awesome throughout the whole surgery. He was very comforting and was excellent in giving me the epideral. Anyway, he asked me what I was naming my baby girl. She received an apsgar of 8!! That's out of 10, so she was great for a baby 3 months early. Of course, she was having breathing problems because her lungs were still a bit under developed. She was in NICU for 59 days and came home on oxygen for about 2 months. She is 3 now and she has no reprecautions from being 3 months early!! She actually came home from the NICU about a month earlier than they anticipated because of how early she was. She stunned all the nurses in the NICU with how well she did and how fast she "learned" what a normal baby does in that time frame.
I had another miscarriage after Lilly. It was so much worse than my first, both mentally and physically for me. I was in my 12th week that time.
I'm terrified to try again. I would love to have 2 children, but I'm just too scared of thinking that I will have issues again and I just don't know if I'm ready to put my body and soul through that again. I know that there are women out there that have had more than 2 miscarriages. I seriously don't know how they do it. How they keep trying. I feel like such a copout here, but 2 took a toll on me......I'm not quite sure that I can go through that again--mostly with mind.
@Punk_Rock_Mommy@xanga - I had the same as you with #1.
I'm 13 weeks with #2 and am seeing an endocrinologist for my "potential" GD. I've already had the 3 hour GTT, which only 1 reading came back high, which is good, but most likely will go up. I'm not to worried about it because I know I can stick with the diet when I put my mind to it. The sticking and checking gets old, but I also get allergy shots every week, so it's not as big of a deal for me.
GD is not fun, but people have healthy pregnancies all the time with it, even if they have to be on insulin. Don't be scared of something you've already been through and have a healthy child to show for it! Your kids are worth it!
Oh, yes, I had a difficult pregnancy, too - and I'm still dealing with the aftermath! My son is 15 months old now, and I'm still suffering from sciatica - I am basically in pain for some time every day, I can't sit for much longer than an hour, I can't run, dance, any of that. The pregnancy itself was pretty bad, too - I was in pain for the first 8 or 9 weeks (they thought it was extra-uteral at some point), I had "morning" sickness 24/7 until 16 weeks, I couldn't smell or eat any hot food for the entire pregnancy, I had excess amniotic fluid (I was as big as a house!) and the SI-joint problems and sciatica meant that I could barely walk five yards toward the end of the pregnancy, I couldn't do any housework, and I was in pain 24/7. In addition, I had horrible reflux which made my asthma worse, and my asthma still hasn't calmed down...
The delivery was another horror story - I was just on the brink of diabetic/not diabetic, and my son weighed 10 lbs 7 oz at birth! The contractions and birth lasted almost 3 days. My son was crowning with his forehead up, and they had to use a suction cup (vacuum cup delivery) to get him out....
And still.... I would definitely (and WILL definitely) do it again. I would like for my son to have a sibling, and I would love to have a second child. I know I'll be in pain again, and quite possibly be disabled for much of my pregnancy and for some time afterwards, but I love my son, and I know I'll love his brother or sister just as much.... Although I would have liked to breeze through pregnancy, I feel it's definitely been worth it.
I'm never having another child of my own. But that doesn't mean I won't have another child. I would love to adopt! There are already way too many people on the face of the planet, and so many of them don't have a place to call home, even within my own state. Now why would I do something as selfish as have another one of my own, just to have matching genetics, when I could open my arms to someone already in existance who needs me?
I have to admit that my pregnancies have all gone quite well...aside from having my appendix out in the 5th week of my second one and dealing with sciatica with the third one, they have gone well. My sciatica was bad (and made worse by the fact that I had a surgical boot (or walking cast) on my foot from a surgery and that threw me off even worse) but I never thought it was awful cuz' there are so many worse things. I have been warned by many people that I should stop because I have it coming after 3 pretty flawless pregnancies....but we are in the process of trying for our 4th.
@mamamonkey - I can't believe what people will say...that you "have it coming?" That's just catty. Why can't people be happy for you that you had easy pregnancies? There are too many other things to be concerned about than to be snarky because you were blessed to have it easier than some. Besides, I would say that anything with sciatica, pregnant or not, is NOT fun. I was more miserable with pain from that than ANYTHING that happened in my pregnancy with #1, and I wasn't even pregnant! I'd say if you can handle a 4th one, go for it!