Monday, 21 July 2008
-
How Much Does Your Partner Help You?
by Mama Hippo
Reading this post and the responses to it got me thinking about the reverse question; how much do our partners help us with all the things we take care of?
I have never been much of a housewife. I don't like cleaning, I'm not that good a cook, etc etc etc. Hubby has always cooked more than I, as he's better at it and enjoys it more (neither of us likes the cleaning though
). Before we moved I was working part-time at a Montessori school, an opportunity that brought in less pay but gave me incredible experience working with amazing people, and I was glad to have Hubby support me in that financially and personally. Since I worked fewer hours than he, I tried to pick up more of the household chores, but we still both chipped in.Since D was born the whole balance of who does what has been all thrown askew. Hubby has been great-- I have been so overwhelmed with just figuring out how to take care of this little baby, and he has taken on almost everything else as a way to help me out so I don't have to worry about laundry, dishes, etc. He's also been doing most of the grocery store runs, and going to the pharmacy when we need a prescription, etc. He recognizes how hard it is to take care of an infant all day (and especially getting up multiple times a night). He's great about taking D when I ask him to and giving me breaks on evenings and weekends. I feel very grateful to have a husband who understand me and what I'm doing, and continues to support me and us as a family, financially and personally.
I'm sure as we continue to get settled into this new way of life I'll start taking over more of the chores and errands. One of the things that's been so nice about D starting to go to bed earlier in the past month or 2, is that Hubby and I both get some time to relax together once he's asleep. Yes, he works hard at work during the day and deserves a break, but then again so do I. So we try to help each other out with that. I sometimes feel bad that I'm not more of a homemaker type, and I'm sure Hubby would love it if he came home to find all the dishes washed, dinner made, etc. But he also recognizes that that's not really me, and is fine with that. And so far, this seems to work for us.
How do you and your partner split the household duties? How much does he help out with chores and taking care of the kids?How about your parents-- how did they divvy up the household chores?
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (9)
Right now his only 'assigned' chores are emptying the dishwasher and all the yard work but he helps out with a lot of other things when I ask. I have a dry erase board on our fridge that I can write him a To Do list. A majority of the time, he helps me by keeping the kids out of my way while I'm cooking/cleaning. After dinner is "play with daddy time" while I'm putting left overs away, cleaning up, washing dishes. I get things done a lot faster when I'm not having to stop to help the kids with something or answer questions.
I do a lot of the household duties. I'm okay with the way we have things split. I know if I need help, I just need to ask and I'll get it. That's what works for us.
I HATE cleaning and my husband actually just finished cleaning the bathrooms and floors....not because I asked or he had to, just because he's nice like that :) I do the cooking, dishes and laundry, though and we do the other stuff as it's needed.
I do most of the cooking. My teens have now started cooking so they will help out or if our schedules are busy they will cook a whole meal. (yes even my son cooks). The kids rotate clean up. One week one does dishes and the other clears the table and vacuums the living room and the next week they switch. They do their own laundry and have for years. I take care of our laundry, towels etc. We all pitch in as other things need to be done. Hubby will do dishes and cook as needed. I am pretty blessed to have a family that helps around the house.
My husband is absolutely amazing! He does the laundry. (I put a load in yesterday for the first time in probably about 3 months) He swiffers the floors (we have laminate floors so all the dirt bothers him when he has bare feet). If I am busy or working extra he will do the dishes - they usually bother me first so I do them mostly. He does all of the yardwork. He will do anything else I ask of him! Although I dont remember the last time I had to ask. He believes that since we both live there, we work together to get everything done. Its really awesome to have help whenever I need it!
Me and my husband are pretty okay with how the household chores get split up. I do mostly everything inside the house. I am very anal about how things get done, so if I do it myself, I know it gets done to my liking. My son is 19-months-old & he is hopefully the only one we'll have, so he doesn't get in the way too much, and some days he actually helps. Haha. He loves helping me put clothes from the washer into the dryer. =)
I am trying to get my husband out of the mindset of "whoever cooks doesn't have to clean it up." Ugh. He makes a HUGE mess when he cooks, he loves to cook too.
The only thing I wish he would help out with more, is our son. He LOVES playing with him, but that is about it. I am the one who takes him places & gets his stuff done. He took today off to get some homework done & our son has a doctor's appointment at 2:50pm, I'm trying to talk him into taking him up there. It would be nice to get some time at the house by MYSELF. I don't think I have ever had that, ever. Haha.
Have to say, my hubby does not do a whole lot when it comes to housework...but I'm OK with it now (didn't used to be).
It is not like he doesn't do anything, just not much. He doesn't like being asked to do things cuz' he doesn't like being told what to do (and no matter how I ask that is how it comes off to him it seems). But, I realized that it isn't that he just doesn't want to do the stuff (at least not every time) but that he doesn't 'see' it the same way I do. For example, we sit down after the kids are in bed at night...he doesn't 'see' the toys still strewn all over the floor and it doesn't bother him, he just wants to sit down and relax a while; while I can not sit down and relax until all the toys are picked up.
I know that I am very particular about the way some things are done, so I would prefer to do them myself. And, like I have said before, I often find housework relaxing and get enjoyment from having a clean house, so I really don't mind doing it.
I don't know, think I kind of made him sound bad---but he isn't. He will help out when asked and whatnot, just doesn't generally do it on his own.
I hate cleaning and in some ways I am not very good at it. My husband is a soldier on the other hand and I guess they are taught to be OCD about cleaning (some of them). So by 5 am my husband is up wanting to vaccum the house. I yell at him it might be illegal that everyone in the neighborhood including myself and the children are still sleeping. On the upside he is my Ying to my Yang. Since I don't like cleaning and he is OCD at it... I've learned to embrace the OCDness and let him have the house clean for me. Sure I try to do my part and pick up. He washes the dishes and puts them away. I have to clean the countertops and sinks because thats my OCD nature to clean everything after its been picked up and organize the cabinets to my liking. He will vaccum and pick up the living areas but I dont' think the man knows what dusting is LOL. So I guess I do the detail work and he does the brunt of most of the house work. He's been deployed a year now so its all been up to me for the past year. My husband isn't good at washing clothes so I do that and we all put them away. (Even that requires my organization LOL...)
My Parents on the other hand. My mother cleaned everything multiple times a day. I had vaccum the house 4 times in one day on my chore list growing up. My dad mowed the lawn and took out the garbage which I still make the boys in the house do. I also prefer to let them do the litter box!
My husband and I each do what we're best at, and divide the chores roughly in half. He does most of the diaper duty, and he gets up in the middle of the night, as I am the one who works.
That's great. I'm sure you two were able to get to know the married versions so that when D came along, he was already familiar with the way you do things around the house. I think C would've had a much harder time accepting my lack of homemaking skills had we had a baby right away. Great post!