Thursday, 03 July 2008
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Dreading the Terrible Twos
Since birth, Baby Koala has hated diaper changes. She used to cry everytime we changed her, and we even had a couple of gross incidents with sudden projectile poo triggered by a powerful WAAAAH! As she got a bit older, we found that it was possible to distract her using toys, songs, books, and games, which was a huge relief.
by Mama KoalaFast forward to today. Oh my goodness, the girl thinks she's already two. These days, she's so much more assertive and vocal about what she wants or doesn't want to do. I'll grab a diaper and she'll run away SCREAMING. Once I have her lying down, I'll try to sing her a song or give her a toy. She'll reject all of it, and then start kicking, squirming, and whining. For pee diapers, I don't mind so much since it's quick (and sometimes a funny version of Itsy Bitsy Spider gets her giggling for just long enough). I can even finish the job while she's standing. But for poo diapers, it's much easier and cleaner for me to change her while she's lying down. Unfortunately, the past few days, she's put up a fight every single time and it's really tiring.
I really dread diaper changes. Baby Koala has a very good digestive system, and rarely suffers from constipation. Yes, I am thankful for that. But at the same time, I'll be honest and admit that a day without poo is a great day for mommy.
Oh, and I dread brushing her teeth too. She used to LOVE brushing her teeth, and would aaah and eeee for us with her mouth wide open... it was really cute, and I remember feeling so proud that my baby girl was actually interested in personal hygiene
. And then a couple of weeks ago, she decided that she didn't like it anymore. She turns away and sticks her face to the mirror or bites down on the toothbrush so that I can't move it around. I have to literally hold her mouth open to try to brush her teeth, while holding her arms still so that she can't push me away. I hate having to be so aggressive with her, but I know that it'll be much worse if she gets cavities. Sigh. When Papa Koala is home before Baby Koala's bedtime, I ask him to brush her teeth and put her to bed because I don't want to deal with it.I have to say though, Baby Koala sure knows how to make my heart melt, and ever since she turned one she's been feeding excitement into my life simply by learning new things everyday. This week, her new favorite play activity has been to climb on top of the sofa and slide down the backrest with a big, satisfying "wheeee!"
The recent negative changes in her behavior have made me scared to face the Terrible Twos that I keep hearing about, but now I'm wondering... are the Terrible Twos really all that terrible? I mean, isn't it also one of the cutest, most exciting times in a child's development? Should I be scared??
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Comments (16)
I don't think you need to be scared...even if for no other reason that worrying about something generally ends up making it seem worse than it really is. I have 2 that have been through the 'terrible twos' and don't remember it being all that bad. Not bad enough to make me stop, as I have one that will be 2 in Sept. It so varies with every kid, you just have to wait and see what happens. Don't convince yourself it is going to be awful before you even get there.
Also, start setting boudaries now. I know it seems early and there really is only so much you can do with a 1 y.o., but you can start setting some boundaries and encouraging healthy communication of feelings...just by putting words to her feelings. When she is mad and screaming, use simple words to her...say 'Ooo..mad! You're mad, aren't you?' Stuff like that. Sounds cheesy, but it is supposed to help them. I think many parents have trouble with the 'terrible twos' because they don't start setting any boundaries for their kids until they start breaking them. It really just is the kids learning to be more independant and display their feelings in different ways. Though I know it is hard to remember this when they are throwing food at you, laughing and hitting you when you try to take it away...then screaming at the top of their lungs for the rest of dinner time. Hang in there :)
"projectile poo"?!? I can't even imagine. My Dad always told the story of changing my brother who had a full load and getting called away in mid stream. My brother of course reached down for a hand full and, you guessed it, put it in his mouth. My father always mentioned in great detail how he had to scrape the poo from the roof of my brother's mouth....such excitement!
My daughter is almost out of her "terrible two's," she'll be 3 in less than 2 months. I must say the "terrible two's" really haven't been that bad. She's not gotten any worse than she has been. Now she's a bit easier to understand and she's starting to learn to compromise. She sometimes cleans up after herself. I've been able to get more sleep than I was when she first first born, sometimes she'll let me take a nap while she sits and watches a movie. I think this past year has been great with her, she's been learning so much. Sometimes of course she can be bad but kids act up at any age. She's been great overall, and it's been fun.
My daughter, who is now 9, never went through the terrible twos. She was a terrific two: well-behaved, wonderful, easy-going. She had a tantrum here or there, but it was short lived.
My son, on the other hand, who turned 2 last month...is the king of terrible twos. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that he likes things his own way. Some things are not worth the battle - he chooses his own clothes and sometimes he doesn't match. Some things are - he has to stop hitting his sister.
My mom always told me that two's aren't so bad - it's the terrible 3's! My son is 3 now and I guess it is a little worse just because now that he talks really really well he can talk back and can be SO disrespectful now!
I would say having a 2 year old was hard some days and fun most days....they are learning so much and growing so much and it's a joy to watch.
Your daughter is so cute.
Maybe she doesn't like the diaper changes, because she doesn't like the kind of diaper you use on her.
Try a different kind of diaper next time and see if that helps.
Same goes with the brushing of teeth.
Try a different tooth past and see if that also helps with the brushing problem.
Some kids are just so very picky.
Oh yes, ask any mom of older kids and they will tell you... the 3s are much worse!! And then wait until they are 10 years old and telling you (as my son did today), "You really need to work on your parenting skills."
My daughter is 2! She is a bit louder and more demanding now, and also she throws the occasional tantrum when she doesnt get her way...But she has been getting better since I've been really diligent with her and her naughty chair plus a lot of positive reinforcement. Her biggest problem is being a hitter and not sharing.
But, she is hilarious and extremely cute. She got such personality and I love just watching her grow up into a little girl.
So far the 2's havent been that terrible, we've had our bumps but so far the ride has been amazing.
P.s. I heard the 3's are the age that everyone should worry about....
oh no....i accidently pressed the backspace...let me see if i remember what i typed...
My daughter doesn't like diaper changes either, especially if they're changed by someone other than mom or dad, and if they're changed somewhere else other than home. A distraction helps, so we have a box of distractions next to the changing area. She used to LOVE brushing her teeth, but not as much anymore. Weird thing is that she prefers the adult toothbrush over the Tigger one she chose at the store. I hear the terrible two's actually start before they're two so that's probably what's happening. I think they're stuck between independence and dependence, and they don't have enough vocabulary to always let you know what they want, etc.
oh...I saw this Wall Mounted Mobile and Mirror awhile back and thought it would have been great to have as a distraction during changing time. When I was still working, and had a chance to work in the infant/tod rooms there were cabinets above the changing pad, and on the underside of the cabinets was a mirror so the babies could see themselves. I don't remember having one single baby do the famous flips that my daughter does when I change her and she doesn't want to be changed.
Ahh, projectile poo! I remember it well. That is one of the many reasons I am a big believer in early potty training. Sounds like she is ready for potty training, or at least moving in that direction. I started a little after my kids turned a year and it worked well. They were all done before two. Most around 18 months.
Two was not that bad for us. Start setting up expectations and consequences, like ignoring tantrums and just putting her in her room until she is done, or making sure she NEVER, EVER gets anything that she yelled for, now and when she is in a natural boundry testing phase she will already know that you are in charge and mean what you say.
Also say yes whenever you can, but only when she is being nice and respectful. Don't say no to things just because you don't feel like doing them or someone you know doesn't let their kids do it. The lines are different for everyone and find what works for your family.
I am really zero tolerance on some things, but very liberal on other. We color on the walls and make forts with furniture and read with flash lights at night and play with our food, ad I have been known to count boardgames as school time, but I have NO patience for snotty and bratty or quarreling with each other and have been known to stand people in corners for long amounts of time for a tone of voice, or taken away a toy indefinetly if someone refused to share it, or had them right tediously long apology letters if they acted up in the store.
However I think it i important to show grace and occasionlly I will let them off the hook entirly for soemthing they should be totally busted for, with a conversation about grace and why I am showing it and how God showed it to me. but I don't do this too often, because they need rules and consistency.
Sorry! Was that long, boring and preachy? Didn't mean for it to be. lol. Just a nagging mom I guess!
It felt like my little boy was going through his terrible two's when he turned one, lol. Hes been a terror ever since, but now is starting to calm down some, and he'll be 3 in 2 months.
As for the teeth brushing, my son didnt like it at first, but since our dentist visit a few months ago, he does it without a problem anymore. He even reminds me when its time to brush.
baby koala is very cute :)
i'm no mother (thank goodness- WAY too young!), but i deal with lots of kids on a regular basis through swimming lessons. the two-sibblings that i see have their moments, but they're usually alright. it's the threes that i have the hardest time with- at my workplace we accept children starting at three, and oftentimes we'll receive those 'just-turned-three-but-i'm-still-two's'. While fours are more cooperative with listening to instructions, threes (and fives) tend to throw fits and pout more. but that's just my observation. why the odd jump/transition between three and five? beats me
hang in there, and best of luck! :)
William is almost 2. He's 23 months right now, and while it can be a rewarding age, with them learning so much, it can also be tedious with them pushing the limits, testing you, being little hellions. It depends kiddo to kiddo. I love my kiddo to pieces but he is constantly making me want to drive to the funny farm, or maybe hide in a hole......:)
Just passing by. I can't say I'm experienced in that area but you have an adorable looking girl <3
Awwwwwww! She's a cutie!
I agree with the first poster! I've allowed 3 of mine to survive past two, and the 4th is well on her way. Boundaries are a must, and you have to stand firm in those boundaries, no matter how cute of a giggle they have while getting into trouble.
It's not that 2's are terrible. They just like to test out how independent you'll allow them to be. They know that they are bigger, and can do more now, and want to see how far is permissable. They're usually quite happy knowing their boundaries (after testing them a time or six
). I'm finding that it happens again when they're six 
Just pick one "hill to die on", and get that under control (perhaps the diaper changes?), and once she's doing that well for a week or two, pick another. Be sure to give lots of praise, and do lots of happy dances, for good behavior!