Wednesday, 02 July 2008
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Bringing Back Stability
I talked to my mom yesterday about Junior's increased mood swings, stimming, and aggression. She is good at bringing up things I already know but may have overlooked due to my own anxiety and closeness to the issue. She and I don't have the closest relationship but she loves Junior and tries to help out whenever and however she can. She suggested that his negative behaviors could be a combination of all the changes in his life. - He isn't in summer school this year. He likes school and gets grumpy during long breaks.
- He did recently move and while it wouldn't normally bother him, there are other things that could be combining to increase his stress.
- There is the medication change that doesn't seem to be working.
- His hormones are raging.
I must be out of my mind because I know not to change so much of his life at one time. At the very least, I should have tried harder to get him into summer school in the new district and not change his medication with so much else going on. I feel like such an idiot. Each of these issues are workable when separate but he has so much going on, all at the same time. My mom suggested that implementing an activity schedule could bring some stability to his life and minimize his anxiety and stress. I am going to get to work on that tonight but it might not be ready for a few days.
Have your children ever gone through several life changes all at once? How did they react?
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Comments (6)
We recently went through a divorce, then their father went overseas to Korea (he's a Soldier), so yeah, we've done it. My dd, 9, did all the acting out, anger, sadness, depression (took her to a therapist to get both of us help on how best to deal). My ds, 11, didn't act out at all, but he's always taken everything in stride. We talk...a lot...about the divorce, how they feel, what we as a smaller family could do better. And it really helps.
Structure is HUGE for my kiddos.
Good luck!
Last year all within the same month, my husband went off to basic training, we moved into a new apartment, and the kids had to start at a new school because our new apt was in a different zone. The first month was rough. The kids melted down easily and seemed to constantly be fighting. It was a blur, but I clung to routine. Eventually things settled down, especially once they were all used to the new school.
Any life change is tough, but going through several at once... it's hard enough for me, so I can't imagine how hard it is for Junior. I hope the activity schedule works out for your family. Let us know how that goes!
My son acts out terribly if we change his routine. He's 3 years old. This makes holiday's an absolute nightmare!!! I don't know if giving him the gift of a new experiance is worth all the stress it puts him and us through during the entire trip. We are going away at the end of this month, a trip that's been planned for months and I have already lost a tonne of sleep over it. Add a 10 month old into the mix (my daughter this year) and I just don't know what to expect.
My son is only 14 months old, and his routines are VERY important to him. Every time he grows out of a nap (he's recently gone from two naps a day to one), he gets very fussy and it'll take us weeks to find a new equilibrium. I try to keep things "the same" for him as much as possible, while also exposing him to new learning experiences - for example, on non-daycare days, I always take him out somewhere after his afternoon nap and snack. That way he knows this is when "adventures" (grocery shopping, a play date, a trip to the petting zoo) happen.
While I don't know much about autism, I would think that strict routines could be very helpful. It might be a way for your son to feel like he's in control of his world - or that, at the very least, he can predict what's going to happen. Maybe this website could be helpful to you: http://www.flylady.net/pages/summer_fun.asp "FlyLady" is sort of an organizing guru who's seen rock bottom (of messiness, in her case) herself. She's all about routines!
Good luck!
Hilde
Since he likes school so much, are you able to do some school with him at home on long breaks? Maybe some things of his favorite subjects. That way the breaks wouldnt be so long. And both of you could learn some new things.
Good luck with the activity schedule!!