Tuesday, 01 July 2008

• The 3rd and Final Birth

  by Mama Seahorse

  I was sitting on the couch with some friends, sipping on a small cup of someone's homemade plum brandy.  It was Superbowl Sunday, and our home was filled with the sounds of friends, food, and laughter.  I sipped from the cup slowly as my friend and I chatted about not wanting to finish the brandy - it was very strong.  I chuckled, "Who knows, I might even be pregnant!"  Then I laughed.  But the laugh faded quickly...  waaaiiit a minute... I thought.

  It was one of those moments where your subconscious mind must have been thinking it for days and then it finally took over your conscious mind in an inappropriate moment so that it could grab your full attention... and I put the cup down slowly as I did the math in my head.  Shoot.  I might be... my friend noticed the sudden change in my demeanor.  I wasn't joking anymore.  I was thinking back to how much I drank... one margarita.  And a few sips of the brandy.  I was thinking about how fast I could get my hands on a test... not today. 

  So I kept it under wraps, not even mentioning it to my husband.  The following Tuesday I stared at two pink lines on the stick.  Okay... the self-talk began... get it together.  Don't freak out.  I know it wasn't planned... money is tight... Hubby wanted to get snipped last fall, but it's okay...  My thoughts went immediately to a vivid dream I had the previous fall.

  

  In the dream, we had three children, beautiful and happy.  The key in the dream is that we were happy.  Because at the time we were in discussions about Hubby having surgery, and I hesitated... not because I wanted more kids technically, but more because I felt like I didn't want to cut ourselves off from something we were meant to fulfill...  After the consultation with the doctor, it was the dream that brought a halt to scheduling the procedure.  I knew it meant something... and now, I was holding the pee-soaked stick to prove it.

  So I wrapped it up, like a present, called my friend to come over during the day (so i could freak out for a minute - how will i handle THREE kids???), and then presented the gift to Hubby when he arrived home that evening.

  The pregnancy was spent being thankful - that this child was shown to us in a dream beforehand, that some accidents are not mistakes, and that we can be capable of more than we think sometimes.

  Then, one Saturday afternoon, after walking in the mall with some out-of-town friends, I sat down to have a bowl of cereal and I felt a "pop" in the upper right side of my big round belly.  It was September 30th and I was due October 14th.  I told the doctors the whole time I was farther along than they thought.  I was hitting milestones earlier, I was HUGE, and I pretty much knew the moment we got pregnant anyway.

  I stood up... that was weird.  But then I knew for sure as fluid leaked, slowly, out of me.  My water had just broken.  I was about to have this baby.  This is when I freaked out.

  Not outwardly, understand, but inside.  The thoughts went something like this:  Oh. my. God.  I have to have ANOTHER baby!  I have to do this labor thing again.  Oh. my. God.  I can't do this.  No no no no no no no no NO!

  I waited.  I called people.  My best friend of 13 years, who's also my doula.  My other best friend who lives overseas but happened to be in town.  They came over.  The contractions started.  The contractions waned.  September 30th ended and I woke up early morning to October 1st.  My girls and I went to breakfast.  I looked hideous and we went to a nice place.  They told me it was busy - a 45-minute wait.  I looked the young girl in the eye:  "Listen, I am IN labor right now.  I want something to eat before I go have this baby.  I can't stand here and wait for 45 minutes."  She looked panicked... looked me up and down (wearing my husband's t-shirt, mis-matched socks, slippers, and drawstring sweatpants) and I guess she figured why else would I come to a nice place like that (or anywhere) dressed like that unless I was telling the truth?  She seated us immediately.  I ate a huge omelet between pausing to have contractions.  Then we shopped at Target.  I walked, pausing to lean on the cart through contractions.  Every contraction would cause me to leak more fluid in small gushes, but they weren't strong enough to make me want to sit down.

  Right about now we started getting phone calls... Did she have the baby yet?  How long does it take to have a baby?  and on and on... I was getting annoyed.  I mean, I was doing all the work here, right?  How the heck should I know how long it takes????  LEAVE ME ALONE!

  We went home.  I rocked in the rocking chair in front of the tv.  It was the only place where the contractions would remain consistent - the rocking I think, did it.  We watched season 1 of Prison Break (yes, complete season on dvd)  and started on Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy on dvd... people called.  People stopped by (one downside of having a home birth...)  A pregnant friend popped in all cheery and excited and I wanted to smack the smile off her face.  Now I felt pressure on top of everything else... pressure to have the baby already so all these other people would be happy... I had to tune them out.  Focus on my inside - just me and you, baby, I whispered...

  It took one episode of Grey's for me to sink into active labor.  It was now Sunday night.  I couldn't talk through the contractions and I wanted everyone to be quiet.  We called the doctor, who decided to return.  The nurse/midwife was on her way too.  In the meantime, Hubby and doula prepared the birthing tub and I slipped into the warm comfort.  Things were moving quickly now.   Best Friend asked me if I was resisting at all, mentally, the birth of this child.  I looked at her, about to hit another contraction and said forcefully, "Yes!  Yes I am resisting!  I have no idea how I am going to handle three kids!!!"  She gently coached me... "Maybe you will want to deal with that and resolve it before the labor goes farther."  I laughed a hearty short laugh.  "Yeah.  That's not going to happen.  I figure I'll deal with it when the baby is here and I have to figure it out."  There was no laughter in the room.

  A couple of hours later, I had the urge to push and Best Friend was telling me to hold on... the doc was nearly there.  Later she told me she was preparing to catch the baby herself... I didn't know that.  Once that baby was ready, he was ready to come... and another beautiful water birth, surrounded by friends (three of my closest girlfriends and one pregnant friend) and family (my in-laws were there too - my own family is long-distance), resulted in a gorgeous baby boy *only* 31 hours after my water had popped.

  Today, he is a busy little boy, almost 21 months old.  Just moments ago, while I was typing this, he came bouncing out of the bedroom into the livingroom with a big smile and a, "G'Morning!"  What a joy!  I hardly ever remember that I went into labor on September 30th and gave birth to him on the morning of October 2nd.  He has made our family complete in so many ways. 

  Just goes to show that God knows what we needed... 

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