Tuesday, 01 July 2008
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Post-Baby Tummy
by Mama KoalaMy parents live in South Korea, and we're visiting them this fall for the first time since Baby Koala was born. It's been a year since they saw her, and I can't wait for them to see just how big she's gotten (and how smart!). We recently purchased our tickets, and I was super excited. My grandmother will also get to meet Baby Koala for the first time, and most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are there too. Mini reunions, here we come!
BUT THEN... It's common for Korean people (from what I hear, a lot of other cultures are the same) to be more blunt than they should be when making comments about one's appearance. It also doesn't help that the standard there is super stick skinny. I was getting dressed the other day, and wishing that I could go back to my pre-pregnancy tummy... and I suddenly felt a tinge of dread about the upcoming trip. When Papa Koala and I visited Korea right after our wedding in NY, I remember comments from relatives about how I looked much "healthier" than in my college days (some even grabbed my upper arm to measure!). Keep in mind, I was not overweight AT ALL. It's just that in college I was a bit sickly and way too thin (I don't think I ever broke 100 on the scale during those 4 years).
That's me in the white shirt my 2nd year of college.I still haven't lost the baby weight (a friend just recently asked me what "happened" to my mid-section
), and my biggest problem area is my tummy. Anyway, here's a snippet of the phone conversation I had with my mom last week:Me: I'm scared that everyone will make comments about how much bigger I am.
Mom: Lose your tummy before you come.
Me: Hmm... If I'm pregnant, no one will say anything!Even my mom won't deny that people will notice and comment on my post-baby tummy problem. But if it was that easy, I'd have lost it months ago.
Anyone else struggle with baby weight even after baby grew into toddlerhood? Did you have to deal with "fat" comments from people around you? Do you have any clever responses I could use?
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Comments (18)
it can be very frustrating... i had two in thirteen months. my youngest is almost 5 months old and i've lost most of my weight, but my tummy just isn't going anywhere.
I'm sorry that I don't have any personal experience to give advice from. I got lucky, my tummy went back down, I just have some extra stretchy skin now. Anyway I think it's terrible the way most women feel about themselves post-child birth. I also think the fear before hand is terrible. I had it, I still have it since I'm considering having a second baby eventually. There is so much pressure to do what you can to go back to the pre-baby you, but it's not always that easy. What really needs to happen is the post-baby us needs to be embraced for better or worse. Well worse in the eyes of the "stick thin" beauty. All shapes and sizes are beautiful, what matters most is being healthy and happy. Motherhood is hot no matter what size pants it comes in.
oh geez, i've dealt with fat comments from korean people since highschool simply b/c i didn't fit into the super-skinny-waif mold. post-pregnancy or not, you just have to keep your chin up and not pay attention to the comments. because they'll never, ever stop unfortunately. maybe you can ask your mom or hubby to tag team with you and just change the subject whenever it comes up.
anyway, do some cardio or pilates if YOU need to feel better about your body, but otherwise, i think you look great, and actually much better than college days.
My son is only 4 months old and I'm struggling with it...I really don't like the way I look...but everyone in my family is big, so I don't have the mold to have to worry about...but it's not fitting into clothes properly that drives me nuts.
I'm going to Korea for my son's dol and truthfully that is what I'm MOST worried about!!!! Even a size 3-4 is "FAT" in Korea....You have to wear a 00,0 or 2 to be normal.... :(
@haemina@xanga - thanks, you're sweet . i plan on doing some pilates to see if it'll help my stomach muscles get back in shape, but you're right, i should just expect to hear comments and try my best to be prepared to ignore them. i like your tag-team idea... maybe i can get my husband to say "why? i think she looks great" in response so that they have nothing more to say!
@hkcho@xanga - aw i feel you. it's amazing what the right outfit will hide though - or you should just wear the hanbok, and then you won't have to worry about anyone noticing that you've put on weight! sad that we need to be concerned about these things, huh...
@quinzel86@xanga - "Motherhood is hot no matter what size pants it comes in." awesome line, that made me smile
@mamakoala - i love pilates, although i should do it more. here are ones i've tried in case you want suggestions:
- windsor pilates: instructor is knowledgeable but a tad bit too perky. my dvd includes workouts with her "dynamic ball" (much smaller version of a yoga ball) which i like. the ball gives extra support, balance, yet is still challenging. i think this may only be available online or through infomercials though.
- 10 min solution: rapid results pilates: instructor is more normal and does the exercises along with you. there are 5 10-min sections (legs, arms, abs, total body, stretch) so you can do all 5 or just pick and choose. 10 min sounds short, but she gives you a very good workout in that time. it goes as little quickly, but it's still beginner level. this one is probably my favorite and i do it through my Netflix Instant Watch feature. i just plop my laptop on the floor and follow along!
- pilates for weight loss: decent instructor, nice backdrop, relaxing music, but nothing special. she's kind of boring and i felt like most of the dvd was filled with intro music, credits, and waves crashing on the shore. i'd rather just get right to the workout.
hope that helps!
(and get S to practice the tag-teaming now. add in some PDA while he compliments your figure and that's sure to turn the korean ladies away to other things!)
I was just thinking what haemina ^^^^ said... have your hubby grope at you a lot to show he thinks you're hot the way you are. Also don't be concerned about what others say. You have bigger priorities in your life right now that looking like a fitness model otherwise you would have worked harder at losing the weight earlier. There's nothing wrong with looking like a "mom" after all you are one! Besides, it's not like you put on weight because you were lazy and vegging out in front of the TV... you gained weight because your body was nourishing that beautiful, healthy baby and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
I totally agree with everyone's comments about ignoring comments and such, but if you want to flatten the squishy tummy a bit check out "spanks" on QVC.com. They don't make you thinner, but they do smooth out the bulges and help you feel better about your post-partum shape...
I'm dreading my trip back to China for the same reason, and I've never even been pregnant, just gained a couple pounds in the 5 years I haven't been there!
I was the same way. I never even hit the triple digits until I was pregnant. I lost all of the way but that pudgy belly is still there, especially right after I eat. Boo! I haven't found anything that works, but then again, I also haven't put in the time to do anything about it. I really want to at least get in shape before thinking about #2. Let us know if you find something that works.
I have the same problems with my Mexican family which I am going to visit in two weeks. They are highly critical of my physique. I have been taking a Bikram yoga class the last two months and I feel like I turned a corner with my capacity to handle the comments. I feel like it doesn't matter what they think anymore. I feel like I am making progress and that is all that is important. I know I am still heavy, but the way I view myself is different.
I had two c-sections in the last 2 1/2 years. My tummy is not going anywhere anytime soon. My family says stuff but I'm okay with it since I know it is because I have these wonderful kids. Well, I might not be okay with it really but I do give myself some slag and you should too!
My advice: look up "8-Minute Abs" on YouTube. My college roommates had the whole 8-minute series (arms, buns, legs...), but the abs one is KILLER. After just one day, I can see and feel the difference. Even if the layer of baby fat is still there, over the abs, toning the abs will pull everything underneath up and in, making you slimmer. Plus, let's face it, with a baby (or two, or three), 8 minutes may be all you have for yourself!
my mom freaked out when she saw me 2 month later after i had the baby. She said if i don't lose the weight right away, i'll be a whale by the time i have another baby. I STILL have my pregnancy pouch and hate it. Sigh, Koreans give no mercy when it comes to appearances.
hi. i hope that your trip went well.
i am having the same problems. i just ordered a pair of "Not Your Daughter's" Tummy Tuck Jeans. http://www.notyourdaughtersjeans.com
have you tried them?