Friday, 27 June 2008
-
Nosy People and Nosy Questions
by Mama Fox
There's always those things people say to you when you are a parent. At a month old they ask if the baby is sleeping through the night, like they honestly care if you are sleep deprived. At 4 months if you've started solid food, because they want to know what it looks like coming out of the other end. At a year, when you are going to have another one or if you are hoping for a boy/girl next time, because they want to know details of your sex life. (I'm grumpy can you tell?).
Sometimes they want to give you advice (and sometimes bad advice at that) and sometimes people are just plain nosy. I guess a majority of the time people are just trying to make conversation and babies and children are a good topic, because everyone knows that once a baby is born the mother's life is completely overrun by everything baby
. (Mini rant - I dislike it when non-parents assume that parents want to only talk about children. We do have a life outside the realm of parenthood, hopefully.)
Having 3 boys there's one question that I am asked all the time. "Are you going to try for a girl?" ... "We did try, a couple of times."
Tell ya a story because I'm still appalled by this many years later. Fox1 was about 6 months old. I was 18 and definitely looked young. I went to get a hair cut and the stylist was making conversation and she had asked a couple questions about Fox1. The usual "How old is he?" "Does he sleep through the night?"Then it came. "Do you know who the father is?" ...
...
I mean REALLY?! WHO ACTUALLY ASKS THAT?! Even if she thought it, it should have never ever passed her lips.
"Yeah, my husband."
She didn't really say much the rest of the time. It was an awkward "I hope I never see you again" silence. I am still appalled. There's no other word for it.Has this ever happened to you? How do you deal with nosy questions about your family?
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (33)
@enmy_sephius@xanga - I would have hit him with a chair, joking or not.
@orange_moon0121@xanga - I loved the answers you gave that rude woman. I would have answered her with "We are part of the HUMAN race". I can't stand race questions, whether they are on job or college applications, voter registration cards, informal surveys, or whatever. It is a useless question that perpetuates racism. If I can get away with not answering them, I leave the space blank.
wow reading all those comments made me laugh especially the last one lol some people are just plain stupid! and unfortunatly we have to deal with them. Heres my story. I got married when i was 21 in ukraine to a guy I had beent alking long distance with over the phone for about 8 months. We loved eachother and our families were perfectly fine with us getting married. I left Ny without telling anyone i was going off to get married. none of my family or friends knew just my mom because she came with me. anyway, we got engaged and married within 2 weeks. I lived there with him for 6 months while working on his visa. 2 months after we got married I got pregnant and when i was 3 momths pregnant we came to the US. everyone found out what i did and their first reaction was "omg she went on vacation and got pregnant by a guy and thats why she got married"! during my pregnancy i kept getting stares while out with my mom and my pregnant belly, i look really young, most people guess around 15 16 sometimes and im not the type of girl to get all dressed up and made up either. so aside from the stares and annoying comments about how young i look to be a mother, i had to deal with a freind of my moms for my whole pregnancy. she kept telling me everytime that i needed to have only one child and thats it. boys are a waste of time to raise because once they get marreid they forget about their mothers. she told me not to have any more kids. she even told me what i should name my son! wtf! after my son was born she kept going on and on. we were in an elevator one tme with a few people and shes telling me "dont have anymore kids, you dont need it." well put together me looking young, with an infant and my mother with me and no husband with us what are people going to think? i told my mom that she better have a talk with that woman or i would! now im pregnant with our second baby and i'm planning on not telling anyone for as long as possible about it! what pisses me off is that people dont talk about their own lives but are soooo curious about others! oh, and my son has to wear braces on his left foot for a few months because its curing in and we have to get it fixed before its too late. some poeple have no culture! they will stare and stare and stare! like actually turn around after we have passed! nect time someone does that I am going to let thme know what i think! its getting to me! and its sad because the ones that stare are paretns themselves you'd think they have more sense! oh wait,. i know what their thinking... " young unmarried mother who cant take care of her kid because hes not walking yet" uggggggggggggggggggh!!!!
Oh my God. That lady really asked you a question like that?!?! I'm shocked. I mean, I don't know anyone who's been married that young (but I don't know where you live; in Kentucky they marry much younger than in Ohio, and who knows about Europe?) but that's still incredibly rude.
Not being a parent myself (wow, my parents would be JUST A LITTLE BIT shocked... O.O) no one ever asks me about my kids. If they did, I'd be very... confused.
But that's still a good point. When I have kids, I'll have to pay attention for that... :D
Oh my friggin' gaaawd! Who asks a question like that, for the love of all things holy? I can't believe it.
No, that's never happened to me. I HAVE had people ask me if I was pregnant (about 3 months before I actually did - they didn't know me...) because I had a little pot belly. Gee, thanks! And a little while ago, I had someone ask me that again - "well, no, but since I could barely walk for a good year after the pregnancy I didn't really get a chance to do sit-ups, you ass!"
Aaaaaarrrgggh! People can be such JERKS! Hrrrrm. Sorry, guess that little annoyed streak runs in more moms
@Gunnermom@xanga - That is one great avatar! LOL!
@Punk_Rock_Mommy@xanga - Oh maaaaan, I hate it when people do that! I once brought my son (then about 8 weeks old....) to my choir rehearsal (I had no choice, it was just before a performance and no baby sitter...) and one of the baritons stuck his giant bald head IN the bassinet, a couple of inches from my son's face, all "coochiecoochiecoo..." Yikes! I told him to stop it - "how would you feel if a man four times your height and 20 times your body weight would stick his giant nose in your face??!" I mean, really, people. That poor kid! He was only half awake at the time, too.... what a way to wake up!
@NotUeberMommy - I know it is crazy but people think it is okay in "today's world" to ask stupid questions what ever happened to if its not nice don't say it? :) Lately the most common one is OMG how old are you?--I am 26 for the record and we WANTED our kids really close in age and what people forget is that since they are close yes it is crazy right now but they will all be away at school or moved out or whatever around the same time as well and my husband and I will not only enjoy our "gloden years" togeather but also our mid 40s and everythign too :)
it's really amazing the things that come out of people's mouths. i'm only 13 weeks pregnant but i am already dreading the future onslaught of rude questions and remarks. not to mention people wanting to touch my stomach (which has already happened and i'm not even really showing yet!). it's like as soon as you are on your way to becoming a mother the personal details of your life are no longer taboo and everything is fair game.
i appreciate the "why do you ask?" response (and plan on using it) but how do you respond when people touch your belly or comment on how big your boobs have gotten? (and yes i have seen someone comment on a pregnant friends bust and we both were completely dumb struck!)