Friday, 20 June 2008
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0.6 Seconds
by Mama Giraffe
We had a bit of a rough morning around here recently. I was rushing around trying to get everyone dressed and fed and realtively presentable for Storytime and Giraffe1 was sobbing because Giraffe2 had stolen her new pad of paper. (Daddy gave a Staples pad to each kid and they've been walking around with them for days like little reporters.)Giraffe1 was crying, screaming, bemoaning the fact that Giraffe2 wrote on the "TOP PAGE" of her "NEW PAD" and now it wasn't perfect and he didn't do it right and she needs a new one. She followed me through the whole house telling me how she NEEDS to have a new pad RIGHT NOW. As I'm trying to explain we don't have any more pads/she can just tear off the top sheet/tough luck/just deal with it/write on the second page I am slowly starting to lose my patience. Soon I'm yelling. A bit later, I've given up on trying to reason through her tantrum and I'm just silent. Then, as Giraffe1 sits on the toilet peeing and crying at the same time, this conversation transpires:
Giraffe1: But, but, but how can I get a new pad?
Me: You can get a job, earn some money and go to the store to buy a new pad.Giraffe1: (pauses crying to think...then starts to wail) But I don't know how to drive the car!I went from wanting to slap her to laughing and giving her a hug in 0.6 seconds.
Does your little one throw tantrums? How do you usually handle them?
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Comments (11)
my lil bro who ive raised since birth used to throw tantrums hes much better now (thank god) but i wen he'd throw the i'd give him the silent treatment till he'd calmed down and was able to reason and compromise with meit mainly worked except fo about 3 times he would go to his room and cry it out and wen he calmed down hed cum out say he was sorry and give me a big hug and he normally got wat he wanted after we talked it out there were sumthings i just couldnt give him but he understood
<3AllY
*looks down at 4 months worth of stomach* Do you see the heartache Daddy and I are saving you by not supplying siblings??
We have new neighbors moving into the house behind us. It's an odd layout because we're on a corner lot...the side of their house faces the back of ours and their driveway is twenty feet or so away from our master bathroom & bedroom. I've been listening to their two kids running to their parents with, "SHE TOOK MY BALL!!" and "HE SCRATCHED MY BIKE!" Huge props to anyone that can managed more than a single child. You're a stronger person than I.
That story reminds me so much of my nephew. He throws tantrums and cries a lot over the littlest things. Around this time last year, we had a total of 8 people living in our home - it was me, my mom, my dad, my sister, her husband, my then 9 year old cousin, my then 7 year old nephew, and then 2 year old niece, it was really chaotic with all 3 kids here. Austin (my nephew) would get so upset when Kayla (my cousin) wouldn't wanna play with him. She's like a teenager in a little kid's body. All she wants to do is watch Hannah Montana and play with her Nintendo DS. Austin, on the other hand, would rather be outside playing tag or cops & robbers or something. So he'd ask me first if they could go outside, I'd say "sure, but stay right out front where I can see you from the porch" because we live in kind of a dangerous apartment complex. So then, he'd go see if Kayla would go out and play with him and she'd be like "I don't want to right now, I'm watching Zack & Cody" and Austin would freak out. He'd start crying and screaming and saying everyone was mean to him and he hated us and wanted to move back to Texas because his family out there wasn't mean to him. It was so sad to see him like that. I didn't know how to handle it because I haven't had much experience with kids that throw tantrums like that. So I just gave him a hug and explained to him how girls like to do different things than boys, and that two years might not seem like a big age difference, but 9 year olds and 7 year olds don't always like to do the same things, and that everything isn't always gonna go his way and he can't just cry and scream and get mad everytime something doesn't happen the way he wants it to. Then I told him he should see if Melissa (his little sister) wanted to play outside with him and they could blow bubbles. I got down all the bubble stuff when Melissa said she wanted to do that, and as soon as they went out the door, Kayla wanted to go too. That scenario happened at least 3 or 4 times a week for about 3 months straight. I wouldn't have traded it for anything else though. I love those kids to death.
whenever one of my kids start throwing tantrums (lucky for me this RARELY happens) or fighting w/each other over something, I just take it away from both. I always tell them to learn to play together and share with eachother and if they can't then neither of them will have anything to play/share with. works every time.
Cute.
That exchange was so cute!
Apparantly, I have mastered the deadly 'Mama' stare. My mama says I was a pro from day 1. My lil sis and bro are 18 and 14 now but I still throw out the look every so often when I go over my mama's house and they are fussing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Worked like a charm when we was younger.
TOO funny.
well my daughter is 15 months but she has her little tantrums. I'm not sure how to handle them yet since she doesn't always understand what I tell her so sometimes I laugh at her cause the faces she makes are so cute. But I try to explain to her that there is no reason to do that.
When Junior throws a tantrum, we use the ignore and redirect method. In the past, we have had to physically remove him from stores over the issue but as soon as he learned that the tantrum doesn't get him what he wanted, the tantrums became few and far between. We learned this from a behaviorist in a support group meeting. She told us that all kids, not just ones with autism, learn an important lesson when they cry and the grown up gives in to the want of the child. The child learns that if they throw a fit, they will get what they want. Sometimes even arguing with the child or repeatedly saying, NO will increase the frequency of the tantrums since to some children even negative attention is seen as a positive reinforcement. If it continues and the parent tries to break the cycle, the fits will be come more pronounced before they will subside. Obviously we are talking about a tantrum and not talking about crying over a need like being wet, hurt, ill, hungry, etc.
Now one thing that Junior does experience is emotional melt downs and those look very similar to tantrums. However, they are caused by him not being able to express his needs and wants rather than not being able to get his needs and wants. Rarely, he will display self injurious behavior during these meltdowns and he will throw his head into a wall or bang it on a counter top. These are very frightening for me but more than anything, I try to imagine the frustration that he must be feeling. I am sure they are harder on him than they are on me. During these moments, we try to minimize the harm he can cause himself and provide him with a safe and quiet environment to release his emotions and regain control over himself.
@Princess_Lovely78@xanga - I do that a lot too! I put the toys in 'time out'. The kids are always wondering why the toy has to go in time out, when it is so obvious that it is the other siblings fault. ;)
There are some things you can do if your child is giving you the silent treatment. Here’s the simple truth: when you stop responding to the silent
treatment, it will die by neglect—and that’s exactly what you want.
Believe me, kids will get out of the habit of freezing you out if it's
not rewarding. And if they want to get something back that they value,
they will talk, so always give them motivation to comply.