Wednesday, 18 June 2008
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Where Do Babies Come From?
"Antonio Banderas gets women pregnant just by looking at them. He's that hot."
by Mama KoalaHaha, ok so this entry has nothing to do with Antonio Banderas, but that's gotta be one of the funniest lines I've heard recently on TV. Talk about telling a non-truth about how babies are formed!
Yesterday I blogged about how my parents got me to stop drinking coke by making up a silly, yet powerful lie. Well, I've got a better one for you today. I can't remember exactly when it was, but I remember who my friends were so I think it must've been around 4th or 5th grade. Kids were much more innocent back in the late 80s than they are now, and I blame TV and Internet for that (but let's not go off on that tangent). Anyway, I asked my mom THE question no parent wants to answer: Where do babies come from?
Her answer: "Well, when two people who really really love each other HUG, you make a baby." And I bought it. Good times. After this huge discovery, I of course went and told all my friends. Even when they told me that it wasn't true, I insisted and insisted because, after all, my mom had told it to me. Sigh. You can imagine how embarrassed I was when I realized that I had fallen for another one of those little non-truths that parents tell their kids when they don't know what else to say
.So now I'm wondering (and also for future reference, when Baby Koala is old enough for this conversation... aaaah!)... What do you tell your kids when they ask you about the birds and the bees?
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Comments (17)
I have been telling my kids since they were born a bit of how babies are made. As they get older you and more details.
At first (before they have friends) it is daddy and I loved each other so much we made a baby. Then as they got bigger it was a special something that daddy and do that shows how much we love each other. And then when they are older it is "the sex talk"....and each kid is different. My oldest was told from early on. And each one has been a different age.
I'm still not sure what I will tell my kids, probably just the truth because yeah, our culture is such now that kids learn things so early anyway.
When I was a kid my mom told me that she took a pill to get pregnant, haha. My mother-in-law told me that when my hubby asked where babies come from when he was a kid, she simply replied "the birth canal" and that seemed to satisfy his curiosity, and he never asked again. She got off easy she said.
I would tell my children honestly about that, but at a young age I wouldn't give many details. As they get older, I think some stuff would be more appropriate to tell them. That's how I was told. I asked when I was 4, and I was just told that there were some things I wouldn't understand for a few more years, but when a man and a woman love eachother very much, they spend time alone and make a baby. When I was a little older, I was told what they do when they're alone that makes the baby, lol. I think the way my mom handled it was the right way, and I'd do it the same way with my kids.
Honestly, the earlier you tell them, the better. The youngest child to get pregnant in this area was 8. (My dad works in the OB GYN clinic, so this isn't a fake propoganda to get education into schools or anything.)
You don't have to tell them the full truth, but you do have to warn them, adamantly.
LOL I was watching that.. well, I guess not watching, but I heard them say that. I told my hubby, "Lord-y b don't let him look at me!" I thought it was funny =P
I have to agree with glorious_and_free, we have to tell them the truth, at least part of the truth, because they will hear it somewhere or see it on t.v and then instead of asking us (b/c we lied about it, right?) they go off and ask other's who may not warn them of things that happen with that topic.
Fortunately my daughter is a little young for that talk! My mom sat me down and gave my brother and I a huge long talk about menstruation and pregnancy and sex and all that when I was 5 or so. It was really strange to me, I think I just didn't really understand why she was telling us all this stuff that was gross and irrelevant. She never mentioned it again until I actually got my first visit from that witch Aunt Flo, then she again told me about being fertile and pregnant and all that. When I went to school, we had sex ed in 7th grade science class, then again in 10th grade "guidance" class. I don't know what horrendously awful age they're teaching it now, but I guess I'd like to be the one to tell my daughter about sex first. We'll probably go for a matter of fact approach since that's the kind of person we are. Whatever we tell her, I know Hubby will end it with a firm, "I'll kill whoever tries to have sex with you."
I tell them mommy has an egg, and Daddy gives mommy some special stuff, and it gets together and Gad makes the baby in my tummy. My oldest is five, and thats as much as he needs to know right now. He had a lot of questions with my last pregnancy. He knows how they come out because he got a hold of my "as your baby grows" magazine.YIKES!!! I didn't remember that being in there.
I really think it is an individual child thing. My mom is a nurse and when I was in 2nd grade she told me the actual truth. My best friend is having a baby in September and so read this book to them that was really appropriate, I think it is something about like I came from an egg or something along those lines. I had a baby when my son was 2.5 and so he didn't ask any questions BUT my SIL's dog just had puppies (he is now 3.5)and we kept telling him she had puppies in her tummy. One day he finally ask me if she was going to crack open when the puppies came out. So I just told him she had a hole that the puppies came out and that it was currently closed and would open when it was time for the puppies to come out. That satisfied him. I know more questions will come up, but you really have to think at their age level and what are they REALLY asking. Where do babies come from is a very vague question you just have to try to have them get to what they are really asking.
My daughter is only 4 months old, but my husband and I already have this worked out.
I met my husband online, when we got married I got both my wedding/engagement rings and my wedding dress online, and so it is only logical to tell her we got her online! I'd love to tell her I went online to the baby store and spent nine months looking for the perfect one until I found her :)
But I won't - I'll tell her the truth in little kid language. There is a great book that explains things pretty well called "God Gave Us You". And I'll dodge the specifics until she's old enough lol.
I will always tell her the truth. I'm not one to 'pee on your boots and tell you it's raining' as Burt Renolds would say.
Age appropriate of course. I'm not going into the full sex talk at age 5 or anything. I know there are good books out there. When these things come up, I plan to follow in the advice of a friend of mine.
Whenever her son had questions, she would respond "well, how about we go to the library together and look it up." They would go together, she would help him pick a book that was age appropriate and then they would take it home, sit down and together go through it. She would ask along the way if he understood what they were reading, answer questions, and then go on. They have a great relationship. He is 13 and still comes to him mom when he has questions about anything. She always reinforces to him that she is there to answer questions because she would rather him know the real story then asking his friends who might not really know either.
I had the 'sex talk' with mom at some point... can't remember exactly when. I'm guessing around 11 or something. But then any previous inclinations I had about wanting to keep the whole baby thing a mystery (I was a fairly niave child) were all shot to hell when I was 12. My mom got pregnant with my sister (I was an only child until then). Several weeks before I had woken up in the night sick. I went out to the couch to sleep in case I got REALLY sick so I could be near mom. Well, the living room was right next to their bedroom. I uh.... 'heard' them .... then a several weeks later they tell me she's preggers. Yup. That about sealed the deal for me.
@babybooties33@xanga - I LOVE that idea about looking things up in books for answers. What a great example to build.
We have some time to think about this, but I hope to answer with age-approrpiate truths, as others have mentioned.
I was told it was a "special hug" when I was little. I think that's a good answer, mostly true!
hahahahah. HUG. my friend's parents told her that people get pregnant if they sleep on the same bed together. just sleeping. HUG. haha. i bet that kept you away from hugging anyone.
Gosh! When i was a kid i never even thought about it. I guess i was a little naive or pre-occupied or something. But i din't think to ask about "where babies come from". My sister ended up getting the "sex talk" when she asked what the F word meant. (Well, she asked for it.) From that moment forth she thought it was her duty to tell the world. so my sister told me and my friends and my cousins .... (Which was a good thing because one of my cousins was 17 and had no idea.) I guess the world was a little different then.
Well I don't have kids, but my mother just told us the truth. She didn't tell us until like the 5th grade though because they began talking about sex in schools. She said "A man & a woman can make a baby if they have intercourse. I know you will one day have sex so I'm not going to tell you not to, but I would prefer you wait until you're married. If you get pregnant before you are of age, you WILL have the baby and take care of it. You were mature enough to lie down with a man, so woman up and raise your baby." Yep that is what she told us at 10 years old!
I was never given the sex talk...ever...in fact the word was never said in my house growing up, and I'm surprised that I'm the only one with that kind of experience here. My parents were/are EXTREMELY religious and that was just something that was not brought up in our house. I was expected to not date until AFTER I graduated college and I was to marry and then have babies. Well, I dropped out of college, moved in with my boyfriend and lost my virginity at 17 and got pregnant when I wasn't married. I learned from the internet, friends, and TV. So I know for a fact that that will NOT happen in my house. I want her to be so open with me that when she starts to think she's ready (which she wont be) she will be comfortable enough to come to me and ask me questions and tell me she's ready (even though she won't be) I baisically want to have a Loralie and Rory relationship from 'Gilmore Girls'.
My parents bought me a sort of comic book, Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle. I looked it up, and it's still available on Amazon. Maybe it's a little dated, but not too bad... Of course my parents never actually talked about the subject - I guess they found it easier to just give us a book (my sister taught me how to read at age 4, so I was well-equiped to read it by the time I was interested...).
I hope I'll be able to answer my son's questions truthfully (but without too much of the gorey details...) without getting embarassed (sp?). I want him to grow up without any issues about his body, and about sex. Too many of us are uncomfortable already!
@glorious_and_free@xanga - I'm from Holland, so if anyone had told me babies come from the "birth canal" I probably would have pictured Amsterdam in my head, with a canal that has boats with babies in them... LOL!