Saturday, 14 June 2008

• The Next Birth

  by Mama Seahorse

  Some of you may have read (and responded to) the account of my first experience with the birth process.  I want to be clear and say that I fully realize that my experience was not most people's experience and that I am by no means "anti" hospital or anything.  However, if you had gone through what I went through, I think you would go to great lengths to make sure the next time was as opposite as it could be.

  That's what I did.  Fortunately, my best friend (of 14 years now) is a doula and has a mom who is a midwife.  So I had very educated people around me to help me make these decisions too. Her first two kids were born just months apart from my first two, so I also had the advantage of attending her births and seeing the reality of how a home birth and water birth could be done before jumping into it myself.  The practice I went through the second time had about 5 doctors who delivered babies in hospitals or at home.  If you were low-risk enough, you could choose the homebirth option, and you also had to live in a certain proximity to a hospital, in case of emergency.  This, I felt, was the perfect balance.  I still had all of the prenatal care that I was used to, but the actual birth experience was so peaceful and we were allowed to be in control - as long as heart rates and such remained normal.

  We took another 12 weeks of Bradley classes just as a refresher and because a friend who was teaching needed another couple to round out her class.  I always like to say the start of this labor really showed me the power of the mind.  I *willed* myself into labor.  No really!  That morning I went in for a check-up, hoping against hope that they would tell me the baby was already crowning and it was all over.  You know that feeling at the end when you just have to get the baby out already?  Yeah.  But the news was grim... no dilation.  Small amounts of effacement.  Shoot.  The doctor, a female, took a look at my disenchanted face and said, "Who knows, if you think about it enough, maybe you'll go into labor!  The power of the mind is strong you know!"   And then she chuckled and brushed it off, I am sure.

  But I didn't.  That night before I went to bed, I prayed so hard I am sure a little vein popped out in my forehead.  And then I laid still for a while.  Then, I focused my thoughts: contraction.  Nothing.  I thought it again, and repeatedly, singularly, and forcefully.  CONTRACTION  CONTRACTION  CONTRACTION.

  And then.  I had one.  I gasped.  Could it be?  Lemme try again.  Contraction.  Another one.  Wow!  It's working.  So I went until they were regular enough for me to wake the hubby (snoring next to me, of course) and tell him.  The rest of the time went by as labors do - with an ebb and flow that is dictated by the little one nobody can see.  He was one week early (my first was five days early).  The best friend (doula) came over and laid in bed with me to massage my back during contractions and to let me sleep between them.  The doctor came, checked me, and then made himself some eats in the kitchen, making himself scarce during the parts where he wasn't needed.  When I slipped into the 5-foot diameter birthing pool (we rented), it was very welcome.  The bouyancy helped the contractions to feel less intense, and the temperature was perfect.  The nurses kept the temp at 98 degrees exactly.  Encouragement came at me from all sides.  The lights were dim, the music played softly.

  And then I hit transition.  Everything annoyed me.  The sound of my best friend and the doctor talking in the next room was like nails on a chalkboard to me.  I didn't have the strength, but if I did I would have hissed, "Shut UP!" at them.  Hubby got in the tub and sat behind me to help brace me.  Suddenly the nurse said, "You can push anytime, the head is already crowning!"  I didn't even know!  The counter-pressure of the water helped to take away that "ring of fire" feeling when the head crowns, which I remembered all too well from the first birth.

  So 10 minutes and three pushes later and he was out.  He actually had a swimming reflex - when he was born he swam right to the surface, as though he was happy to have some room to move in.  My in-laws were there.  My oldest who was 2 at the time was brought into the room for the last 10 minutes and he was the first besides me to touch his brother.  The baby didn't cry.  I will never forget how peaceful he was.  He opened his eyes and looked around at everything and everyone.  He smiled.  I don't care what people say about babies smiling, he smiled.  He stayed awake and alert taking everything in for about 5 hours after the birth.  I was up and walking around the living room 15 minutes after the birth, eating eggs and toasting in celebration.  He was born at 10 am, so after a few hours spending time with people, Hubby, baby and I went to lay down.  The nurse stayed and cleaned up the house, put away food, and checked the baby a couple of times before she left.

  
  (this picture was taken about one hour after the birth)

  Overall, in contrast to the first birth experience we had, I felt respected, nurtured, and like I was part of the birthing process, and not a hindrance to the birthing process.  For me, the option of birthing at home worked out beautifully.  And I have to say, being a small woman who was always told that I'd have a difficult time birthing babies (who were 8 pounders), the water birthing really helped me a lot.  I never tore, barely bled, and healed very well. 

  I have to say though, I focused very hard on being peaceful with this birth particularly, because 8 months into the pregnancy, I discovered a lump that was cancerous.  They waited until a couple weeks after he was born to operate, and I am happy to say now that I am cancer-free, but at the time, I wasn't sure what might happen, and I wanted to be sure every moment I had was a precious one.  Hearing you have cancer in your body can force you to prioritize quickly.

  So that's birth number two... 6 hours total.  Big change from the 22 hours of the first one.  The third - he was the wild card... 36 hours.  But ... that story will come later.

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