Thursday, 15 May 2008

• Balancing Act

  by Mama Koala

  When I found out that I was pregnant, I was living and working in New York City.  Since my mother-in-law had told me that she could watch the baby, I assumed that I would be going back to my full-time job after maternity leave.  A couple of months before Baby Koala was born, my husband got a job offer that would mean that we had to relocate to another state, many miles away from our loved ones and the only city I've known since I can remember.

  Fortunately for me, the company adjusted my role so that I could work part-time remotely from home.  While I consider myself extremely lucky to have been given this option, working from home does have its challenges.

  Physical Challenge:
  Unless your baby never cries and sleeps 18 hours a day, being a first-time mom can be pretty demanding.  As a work-at-home mom, it's a great day when Baby Koala takes a long afternoon nap (I miss the days when she took 2 naps a day!).  If I had the luxury of being able to nap with her, it would've made the first year much easier.  Here's a good look at what my work space looks like on most days (we only clean at night after she goes to bed):
  

  Mental Challenge:
  This happens for anyone who's multi-tasking, even if you don't have any kids.  When you have one too many things on your mind, you become absent-minded, forgetful, and have a harder time focusing on details.  As a mom, it's impossible to avoid having a lot on your mind, especially when you're just starting out and everything is new and scary.  Even if you're a control freak, you'll have moments when you throw out your wallet (hopefully you realize it before the garbage truck comes), put your keys in the freezer, and put the iron to your ear when the phone rings (this was my mom's incident, but I'll never forget it).

  Emotional Challenge:
  For me, this was the hardest one.  When your baby wants your attention, you want to be able to give it to her.  When you have a project to complete for work, you want to do your best.  Some days, I feel like I am unable to give 100% to my baby or my work.  It usually happens on those days that my daughter is sick or teething (and cranky), or just simply bored and wants a playmate.  I know that I'm trying my best, but sometimes my best doesn't seem good enough.  It's not always this way though.  There are days when I feel good about the work I've done, and then have time to go explore the outdoors with my baby... and I never take those days for granted.

  These aren't complaints.  I love being able to work part-time and help provide not only essentials but also some luxuries for my daughter (like the toys I mentioned in my earlier posts!).  I also enjoy being able to visit NY several times a year without worrying about how much the toll and gas (when will the price of gas stop rising?!) is going to cost us, and being able to buy organic milk and Pampers diapers for Baby Koala.  I believe that it's every mother's personal decision whether to go back to work or not, and no one else should judge her for it.  I'm still undecided on whether or not I'll go back to work full-time at some point, and whether or not I should send Baby Koala to daycare when she's a bit older.  I'll make those decisions with Papa Koala when the time comes, but for now, I'm enjoying my quiet life in the suburbs, working from home and taking care of my baby girl.

  As a mom, what sort of decisions have you had to make about work, if any?

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